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Apparently, Kristen’s tweet was inspired by two recent conversations she had with her husband: "When I was in elementary school, one of the best parts of the day was when the whole class walked across the school together for a big group bathroom trip," she said in an interview with BuzzFeed. "And he was like, '...that's not as normal as it sounds like you think it is.'"
"Then later that day, something came up about school dances, and my husband said, 'I'm not sure if this is normal for public schools, but we always had a random priest show up to chaperone our middle school dances.' I was like, 'I am very sure that is NOT normal.'"
The responses to Kristen's tweet were filled with similar tales where people gladly exposed their spouses’ quirky behaviors, from peculiar eating habits to outright odd phrases like "don’t forget to chirp the car" — which is a totally normal thing clearly everyone says.
Kristen’s viral thread only goes to show how universally relatable this topic is. It looks like virtually everyone has some weird habits from their childhood that just stuck with them for the rest of their lives. On top of that, it proves they inevitably bubble to the surface with adulthood, and often in hilarious ways.
Unsurprisingly, bizarre behavior patterns especially become visible when we find that special person with whom we can create a long-lasting relationship. Of course, relationships are a beautiful thing that makes you feel loved and adored by someone close to your heart. But they also teach you about the world, life, and, most importantly, yourself.
Anyone who’s been with their partner long enough has seen them at their best and their worst and knows the ins and outs of their behaviors. In some cases, however, these little habits seem cute at first but may morph into giant, annoying, frustrating patterns with time. They are hard to break, after all, no matter how pointless or silly they actually are.
When this seems to be the case, experts suggest taking a step back and thinking about what’s truly important. "The weird things your partner does are a part of who he or she is, and some of the reason why you fell in love," Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together, told Women’s Health.
Tessina pointed out that in any healthy relationship, couples learn to accommodate each other's quirks. Sometimes that means secretly finding them endearing, even if they're still slightly irritating, she said.
But how come so many people move through life completely oblivious to these unbreakable and utterly weird childhood habits? Turns out, many of us realize obvious things only later in life because we’re wired to move common patterns into the background to look out for more novel things.
"This happens because things that are not obvious, that are not common, that stand out, could pose a threat to our well-being, or could be something really rewarding," Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, performance coach, and creator of Mental Drive, told Bored Panda in a previous interview. He stated that we humans "pay more attention to those actions and interactions that grab our attention. The obvious goes in the background, so we reserve brain bandwidth to notice the novel, standout occurrences in our life."
But as we all know, fewer things feel different and unknown to us through the course of our lives. As adults, we can finally look at the seemingly common in a more detailed way. "And when we do, we often discover that that obvious has so much more to it that we missed earlier on," the psychologist added.
"Another reason we miss the obvious is that we sometimes are not ready psychologically to handle [it]," Klapow said. "A relationship that is toxic, a love interest that is too intense, a realization that we don’t have a skill or strength we believe we have." These things may be crystal clear to the outside observer, but "our own psychological defenses go up and protect us from seeing the obvious. Because to do so might overwhelm us emotionally and psychologically."
"This pattern can go on for years, until which time we either have the psychological maturity or our life circumstances change such that we can look at the obvious which once posed a psychological threat in a more mature, less defensive way."
Once we realize we lived our whole lives believing our weird childhood habits are perfectly ordinary, it’s easy to feel a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious. Perhaps that’s why, according to Klapow, we feel embarrassed — "the obvious is often simple and clear to everyone else."
The creator of Mental Drive explained we feel this way for several reasons. First, we simply overlooked what others saw: "We may have made mistakes, hurt others, missed out on opportunities because we didn't see the obvious. Lastly, we have to acknowledge to others and ourselves that despite how we think of ourselves or how we are seen by others, we have missed something."
