Most people’s knowledge about cults may only go as far as what they’ve seen in films or read in stories. But for those who actually lived through being in one, the experience is as real as it gets.
Check out their firsthand accounts to see what we mean. These are responses to a recent Reddit thread in which someone asked what life was like as a member of an organization with shady practices, to say the least.
Many of these involved certain organized religions, while others are modern-day versions of cults where people are stripped of their freedoms and even isolated from loved ones.
#1
They praised the leader and regarded his word as fact no matter how outrageous his lies. He had several wives and treated them all badly. The whole cult wore red ball caps.
87points
#2
I used to be an American republican and then I left the cult.
68points
#3
Does the fundamentalist Christian’s count as a cult? I’m still working through everything after that 😅 like can you have a life without shame? And if so how? Cuz that s**t is deep. Also, when we say we value others but then actively take away opportunities or programs that would help them how is that loving thy neighbour.
It’s a lot. Very glad I walked away.
It’s a lot. Very glad I walked away.
53points
#4
Where my ex JWs at??? I left at 16. Then had my very first birthday party.
45points
#5
No BDs. No Holidays. No Friday night fun, nor Saturday until after sunset. No dating. No 'unclean' meat. Holy Days like a week w no leavened products.
Go to school with your sandwich made on motza and listen to the kids make you feel SO FN WEIRD.
Men rule, women and children are beneath men. God first. R**e is the woman's fault.
At 18/19 I finally got out.
54 now and my dad still thinks I turned from God and ruined my life.
Go to school with your sandwich made on motza and listen to the kids make you feel SO FN WEIRD.
Men rule, women and children are beneath men. God first. R**e is the woman's fault.
At 18/19 I finally got out.
54 now and my dad still thinks I turned from God and ruined my life.
38points
#6
I was a Mormon for 25 adult years. Yes, it's a cult.
38points
#7
I was in a 'wellness community' for 3 years. They started by telling us to drink special green juice every morning, but it got darker. Eventually, they isolated us from family, took our phones, and made us work 18-hour days in their 'healing gardens.' The leader claimed she could cure cancer with meditation. Got out when I saw them forcing a diabetic girl to stop her insulin. Called my sister at 2 AM from a gas station payphone and never looked back.
35points
#8
Not really escaped so much as it collapsed
It was a MegaChurch and the pastor would do a sermon then the recording was played in each branch of the church multiple times on every Sunday morning and evening.
Backstory on how I got in; I married young, he was saving himself for marriage and had never even held a girl's hand. He was from a Russian community so I learned the language and immersed myself all in, even though it was an American church in USA.
He takes me to this church, and we get involved and do a pre-marital class together (totally legit so far)
The classes became awful. They pretty much insisted on successful marriages only looking one way, and they said that if we don't put out enough our dudes will cheat on us - and while that logic may track, the methodology is where I take issue - it was pretty much stuff your feelings and character to bow to your husband - don't question anything, you only get to this result on one path. Also, give us your money and live modest even though our pastor is wearing fancy clothes.
Then we started doing these "Redemption" classes and buying the Pastors books.. and men and women did them separate. Essentially they would break you down and then offer you the one and only relief psychologically. I remember a 50s something woman who was sobbing saying that when she was 6 she engaged in s--ual play with a 4 year old and how that made her a terrible p-------- and the leader of our little group kept making her recount her memory in a twisted way; when what I got didn't sound like it came from a place of malice. I told the lady "do not try to justify the actions of a child with the mind of an adult" and pretty much pointed out that at the time, when the woman was *six years old* there were no s--ual desires, not even in her memory of the event. The leader got pissed and shut me down and tried convincing this woman she's going to rot eternally for this incident unless she do a] b] and c] and it had to be done with this specific church. It was clear even to my uneducated mind what was happening
I reminded the woman that none of us are licensed counselors or therapists and was then asked to not speak the remainder of that session.
Same with my first husband, my fiancé at the time. Apparently in his group he admitted to weird male-male stuff with his cousin when he was maybe 7/8 years old and they harped on him and convinced him that what he did was gay and that even though post-pubesence he has never had a desire for men, he needs to feel bad and repent and only they can lead him into eternal Redemption. He ended up having a moral crisis and driving for 10 hours to calm himself down - he drove throughout the night without sleeping. Poor guy
I held onto my identity and gave them so much push back, when they would start group criticism sessions I'd always bring in reality checks and I eventually stopped going to the meetings
Well our marriage fell apart - the church + his fam convinced him I was the problem, and oddly enough at the same time the entire MegaChurch also crumbled and the pastor was discharged for some scandal (I think because he published some horrific female subordination literature or something) and every branch of his church was sold off this was 2014. I have seen him now trying to make a comeback but I don't think it's taken off.
As for me, I moved overseas and my therapy is galloping my horse across the rolling fields, and I am happily remarried and raising a lad.
Edit Oh wow there's a documentary on it
The Rise and fall of Mars Hill.
It was a MegaChurch and the pastor would do a sermon then the recording was played in each branch of the church multiple times on every Sunday morning and evening.
Backstory on how I got in; I married young, he was saving himself for marriage and had never even held a girl's hand. He was from a Russian community so I learned the language and immersed myself all in, even though it was an American church in USA.
He takes me to this church, and we get involved and do a pre-marital class together (totally legit so far)
The classes became awful. They pretty much insisted on successful marriages only looking one way, and they said that if we don't put out enough our dudes will cheat on us - and while that logic may track, the methodology is where I take issue - it was pretty much stuff your feelings and character to bow to your husband - don't question anything, you only get to this result on one path. Also, give us your money and live modest even though our pastor is wearing fancy clothes.
Then we started doing these "Redemption" classes and buying the Pastors books.. and men and women did them separate. Essentially they would break you down and then offer you the one and only relief psychologically. I remember a 50s something woman who was sobbing saying that when she was 6 she engaged in s--ual play with a 4 year old and how that made her a terrible p-------- and the leader of our little group kept making her recount her memory in a twisted way; when what I got didn't sound like it came from a place of malice. I told the lady "do not try to justify the actions of a child with the mind of an adult" and pretty much pointed out that at the time, when the woman was *six years old* there were no s--ual desires, not even in her memory of the event. The leader got pissed and shut me down and tried convincing this woman she's going to rot eternally for this incident unless she do a] b] and c] and it had to be done with this specific church. It was clear even to my uneducated mind what was happening
I reminded the woman that none of us are licensed counselors or therapists and was then asked to not speak the remainder of that session.
Same with my first husband, my fiancé at the time. Apparently in his group he admitted to weird male-male stuff with his cousin when he was maybe 7/8 years old and they harped on him and convinced him that what he did was gay and that even though post-pubesence he has never had a desire for men, he needs to feel bad and repent and only they can lead him into eternal Redemption. He ended up having a moral crisis and driving for 10 hours to calm himself down - he drove throughout the night without sleeping. Poor guy
I held onto my identity and gave them so much push back, when they would start group criticism sessions I'd always bring in reality checks and I eventually stopped going to the meetings
Well our marriage fell apart - the church + his fam convinced him I was the problem, and oddly enough at the same time the entire MegaChurch also crumbled and the pastor was discharged for some scandal (I think because he published some horrific female subordination literature or something) and every branch of his church was sold off this was 2014. I have seen him now trying to make a comeback but I don't think it's taken off.
As for me, I moved overseas and my therapy is galloping my horse across the rolling fields, and I am happily remarried and raising a lad.
Edit Oh wow there's a documentary on it
The Rise and fall of Mars Hill.
31points
#9
We had to worship this supernatural space entity who supposedly sent a version of himself to earth so people would k**l him then we had to drink his blood.
31points
#10
I was in the cult known as “Amway” for two months. I learned that they love to dress up in formal business attire and sit and listen to “successful” people talk for hours. They put on this facade about how much they care about you and creating a friendship with you until you open your eyes and realize they only “care” about you because you can help them earn more money. God forbid you miss a phone call or else they think you aren’t committed to your business. They try to brainwash you into believing that if you listen to 3 audios of people talking a day that you’ll become successful. Once a week you meet up (in my experience it was in a hotel conference room) at like 7pm until 10pm listening to the same exact pitch and they expect you to take notes every. Single. Time. Then every month they’ll host these gatherings called Night Owls where they’ll meet up at a location (for us it was Pizza Ranch), you pay $10 to get in and you sit and eat and listen to the so called “successful” people talk until 3am.
The moment I realized I needed to get out of the cult was when I was giving my pitch to a buddy of mine via text and he said I sounded like I was using ChatGPT to text him. Needless to say if anyone ever approaches you asking if you’re open to making additional income SAY NO.
The moment I realized I needed to get out of the cult was when I was giving my pitch to a buddy of mine via text and he said I sounded like I was using ChatGPT to text him. Needless to say if anyone ever approaches you asking if you’re open to making additional income SAY NO.
25points
#11
I was raised in one for school. Christian dominionism, Rapture theology, Young Earth Creationism, Biblical inerrancy - I was a Jesus Camp kid. I also attended Youth Group in a different flavor of evangelical cult, one that was starting to tip towards the Gothardites.
It's complicated, but my mother was discovered to have cancer when I was 4. The Satanic Panic had done enormous psychological damage to her, as she was almost certainly autistic with an abnormally strong terror/disgust fixation on sin and hell. She did not want her children in a Catholic school, as she had been raised Catholic and was scarred by her obsessive confessing to trespasses. She chose a school that taught the A Beka/Abeka curriculum out of Pensecola Christian College.
She died when I was 6, at which point the cult had already told me the story of Lazarus and the Rich Man. You can see out of heaven to see the suffering in hell, but as there is no unhappiness in heaven, if I didn't stay in the cult, my Mommy would see me burning in hell and be happy about it.
When I was almost 8, I made friends with some kids in a different church. They were more afflicted with active purity culture than my cult school, which mostly just acted like anything involving s*x didn't exist. We had to focus much more on fighting demons and protecting our hearts from Satan.
I was told in both that abortion is not just m****r, but literal human sacrifices to Satan.
I was told in both that Democrats were literally blood-drinking, baby-m*******g, child-s*x-trafficking monsters.
My father, who didn't care much what I was being taught, pulled me out of the school in 8th grade, because he realized I needed to graduate from an accredited school to go to college. The fact that my foundational education in everything but reading was done completely inadequately if not just with outright lies was ignored.
Because I was removed from the cult, it had a harder time holding me long term.
It took a long time to realize it was a cult, though. My older sister was violent, and my father was neglectful where he wasn't exploitative. I used to pray daily for the Rapture because I was sure my sister was going to eventually m****r me in a rage, and I didn't want my father to have to live with that.
Somewhat ironically, my sister realized many of the teachings of the cult made no moral sense. It took me a lot longer to reach the same conclusions because she was so violent that I could not believe she would figure out morals and ethics.
It's complicated, but my mother was discovered to have cancer when I was 4. The Satanic Panic had done enormous psychological damage to her, as she was almost certainly autistic with an abnormally strong terror/disgust fixation on sin and hell. She did not want her children in a Catholic school, as she had been raised Catholic and was scarred by her obsessive confessing to trespasses. She chose a school that taught the A Beka/Abeka curriculum out of Pensecola Christian College.
She died when I was 6, at which point the cult had already told me the story of Lazarus and the Rich Man. You can see out of heaven to see the suffering in hell, but as there is no unhappiness in heaven, if I didn't stay in the cult, my Mommy would see me burning in hell and be happy about it.
When I was almost 8, I made friends with some kids in a different church. They were more afflicted with active purity culture than my cult school, which mostly just acted like anything involving s*x didn't exist. We had to focus much more on fighting demons and protecting our hearts from Satan.
I was told in both that abortion is not just m****r, but literal human sacrifices to Satan.
I was told in both that Democrats were literally blood-drinking, baby-m*******g, child-s*x-trafficking monsters.
My father, who didn't care much what I was being taught, pulled me out of the school in 8th grade, because he realized I needed to graduate from an accredited school to go to college. The fact that my foundational education in everything but reading was done completely inadequately if not just with outright lies was ignored.
Because I was removed from the cult, it had a harder time holding me long term.
It took a long time to realize it was a cult, though. My older sister was violent, and my father was neglectful where he wasn't exploitative. I used to pray daily for the Rapture because I was sure my sister was going to eventually m****r me in a rage, and I didn't want my father to have to live with that.
Somewhat ironically, my sister realized many of the teachings of the cult made no moral sense. It took me a lot longer to reach the same conclusions because she was so violent that I could not believe she would figure out morals and ethics.
22points
#12
I grew up evangelical. I was taught to tell school sh**ters I was a Christian so I could "Die for my faith". We were also severely over sexualized. Girls were taught that men couldn't control themselves around women. Boys were taught that we were controlled by our s*x drive. We were also taught how evil s*x was. Don't get me started on the judgement.
22points
#13
We turned into a cult. It happened so subtly and slowed, we had no idea. It was a gradual move to only hanging around with people in our group and a teaching not to trust those outside, to listen to the head teachers., to look with suspicion on any ideas or words that came from outside the group. When the police came to remove my underaged sister, that started the wakeup to see how far we'd gone.
21points
#14
I have a friend who escaped from a troubled teen industry (TTI) cult called KIDS of Bergen County - later Kids of North Jersey.
He was stuck in there from ages 15-20... it was meant as a treatment place, but unlike the usual "druggies" they had him there as a "behavior problem." He ran away from home one night and drank a beer with some other teenage kids. Which meant no matter how much he complied with the program they would not let him graduate. Similar to Lulu Corter, someone he actually knew from the program, look up her case if you want to be further disgusted.
His mother was fully integrated into the cult to the point that by the time he escaped she was working as an assistant to the founder, and his father was a true believer until eventually he abandoned them and remarried.
I talked to him a lot about it. There were lots of culty behaviors, like time spent singing songs like Zippity Doo Da, food and sleep deprivation, "motivating" (waving your arms as intensely as possible) instead of raising your hand to speak during "rap sessions" (group attack therapy that lasted all day, every day). Lots of strangely puritanical rules like no "druggie music" (throw out all your records) and god help you if you even look at the opposite s*x.
Basically they spent all day oversharing, revealing every possible guilty behavior from their past real or imagined, and ripping into each other, criticizing past behavior and looking for any inconsitency in the story or lack of enthusiasm in telling it, and of course droning on and on about how the program is saving their life.
They would reward those who bared their souls with affection, warmth, and advancement in "phases" of the program. Early phases removed family contact, took you out of school, made you eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly, had a higher stage person ("oldcomer") follow you around holding your belt-loops, that sort of thing. At higher phases you could see your family more, go to school, etc.
His escape stories are really good. They would actually send out parents and other cult members to look for escapees on foot, and often had cooperation with cops in the area. He once escaped at a higher phase, by opening a window and baiting his "newcomer" into jumping through it. Like, "Come on you p***y, the windows right there! Do it! I dare you!" And then my friend jumped through it himself, leaving the newcomer completely flat-footed. My friend was caught later though; he had gotten lost in the dark, and fell asleep hiding in someone's yard. The cops picked him up, and since he was still a minor at the time put him back in his parents' custody, and he was back at first phase.
Years later he escaped on foot, his third attempt, by karate chopping the hands of the guy holding his beltloops and bolting. Somehow he lost his pursuers, got as far away as he could, and found a payphone. He had memorized the number of a friend whose parents had released from the program, and thankfully they came and picked him up, starting his life as a free man.
I considered compiling his stories into something publishable but I stopped interviewing him when I realized reliving his trauma was triggering. Poor guy would have night terrors and dreams of being stuck in there after we spoke.
In any case, that particular place eventually shut down in the late 90s and the cult leader (Virgil Miller Newton) went on to become a Greek orthodox minister in Florida.
But the real bad news is places like it are still out there, especially in states like Utah. There's too much money to be made, Mitt Romney's Bain Capital for instance bought up a bunch of TTI Centers iirc.
He was stuck in there from ages 15-20... it was meant as a treatment place, but unlike the usual "druggies" they had him there as a "behavior problem." He ran away from home one night and drank a beer with some other teenage kids. Which meant no matter how much he complied with the program they would not let him graduate. Similar to Lulu Corter, someone he actually knew from the program, look up her case if you want to be further disgusted.
His mother was fully integrated into the cult to the point that by the time he escaped she was working as an assistant to the founder, and his father was a true believer until eventually he abandoned them and remarried.
I talked to him a lot about it. There were lots of culty behaviors, like time spent singing songs like Zippity Doo Da, food and sleep deprivation, "motivating" (waving your arms as intensely as possible) instead of raising your hand to speak during "rap sessions" (group attack therapy that lasted all day, every day). Lots of strangely puritanical rules like no "druggie music" (throw out all your records) and god help you if you even look at the opposite s*x.
Basically they spent all day oversharing, revealing every possible guilty behavior from their past real or imagined, and ripping into each other, criticizing past behavior and looking for any inconsitency in the story or lack of enthusiasm in telling it, and of course droning on and on about how the program is saving their life.
They would reward those who bared their souls with affection, warmth, and advancement in "phases" of the program. Early phases removed family contact, took you out of school, made you eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly, had a higher stage person ("oldcomer") follow you around holding your belt-loops, that sort of thing. At higher phases you could see your family more, go to school, etc.
His escape stories are really good. They would actually send out parents and other cult members to look for escapees on foot, and often had cooperation with cops in the area. He once escaped at a higher phase, by opening a window and baiting his "newcomer" into jumping through it. Like, "Come on you p***y, the windows right there! Do it! I dare you!" And then my friend jumped through it himself, leaving the newcomer completely flat-footed. My friend was caught later though; he had gotten lost in the dark, and fell asleep hiding in someone's yard. The cops picked him up, and since he was still a minor at the time put him back in his parents' custody, and he was back at first phase.
Years later he escaped on foot, his third attempt, by karate chopping the hands of the guy holding his beltloops and bolting. Somehow he lost his pursuers, got as far away as he could, and found a payphone. He had memorized the number of a friend whose parents had released from the program, and thankfully they came and picked him up, starting his life as a free man.
I considered compiling his stories into something publishable but I stopped interviewing him when I realized reliving his trauma was triggering. Poor guy would have night terrors and dreams of being stuck in there after we spoke.
In any case, that particular place eventually shut down in the late 90s and the cult leader (Virgil Miller Newton) went on to become a Greek orthodox minister in Florida.
But the real bad news is places like it are still out there, especially in states like Utah. There's too much money to be made, Mitt Romney's Bain Capital for instance bought up a bunch of TTI Centers iirc.
21points
#15
On the first day of joining this particular church, when it can to giving offerings, the pastor demanded that the ushers lock the doors so that everyone contribute. Lol.
20points
#16
I left the christian religion years ago and couldn't be happier! I found their incessant chanting, incantations and worshipping an unseen and supernatural being to extreme and delusional.
20points
#17
Ex Church of Christ here.
Very strict on attendance, you are expected to be there for every service and if you aren’t or miss often, there’s unspoken/hush hush judgement about it.
You are expected to not question authority of the Elders nor the preacher. You are mostly only expected to answer the questions they pose in bible class. If you’re a woman, you’re expected to not speak hardly at all, even in bible class.
You are expected to feel guilt about all of your sins and outwardly show that you do by coming forward at the end of the sermon/invitation to ask for the entire congregations “thoughts and prayers.”
You are expected to follow what the Bible says and ONLY what the Bible says. You do not do anything the Bible doesn’t explicitly say or give an example of early Christian’s doing. You are definitely not allowed to do anything the Bible expressly says not to do.
You are expected to conform and be one of the Congregation. You are to dress, act, and behave like everyone else, especially to imitate the Elders as they are the “Shepherds of the congregation”
Men are expected to work in the congregation through song leading, preaching/invitation, leading prayers, serving the Lords Supper. Women are expected to be silent and do no work except teaching children’s Bible class, prepping the Lords Supper, and cleaning the building.
You are expected to engage in worship through singing (acapella, everybody sings), praying silently/personally during prayer, and partaking in the Lords Supper.
Very strict on attendance, you are expected to be there for every service and if you aren’t or miss often, there’s unspoken/hush hush judgement about it.
You are expected to not question authority of the Elders nor the preacher. You are mostly only expected to answer the questions they pose in bible class. If you’re a woman, you’re expected to not speak hardly at all, even in bible class.
You are expected to feel guilt about all of your sins and outwardly show that you do by coming forward at the end of the sermon/invitation to ask for the entire congregations “thoughts and prayers.”
You are expected to follow what the Bible says and ONLY what the Bible says. You do not do anything the Bible doesn’t explicitly say or give an example of early Christian’s doing. You are definitely not allowed to do anything the Bible expressly says not to do.
You are expected to conform and be one of the Congregation. You are to dress, act, and behave like everyone else, especially to imitate the Elders as they are the “Shepherds of the congregation”
Men are expected to work in the congregation through song leading, preaching/invitation, leading prayers, serving the Lords Supper. Women are expected to be silent and do no work except teaching children’s Bible class, prepping the Lords Supper, and cleaning the building.
You are expected to engage in worship through singing (acapella, everybody sings), praying silently/personally during prayer, and partaking in the Lords Supper.
18points
#18
They stood at a pew, had us chant from books, read from a black book, dunked is in water, made us give them money, and told us we're still going to hell. Baptists are weird, man.
18points
#19
A lot of spiritual, emotional, physical and s**ual a**se. Also greed, racism and looking down on those not part of it. I escaped the physical and s**ual a**se but it still left me with a deep mistrust of religious authorities.
Two by Twos.
Two by Twos.
16points
#20
I was in a band with someone who left a cult! The band dissolved as a result- everything was literally prescribed by the cult, leader, and the members of the cult that were senior to him, his clothing, his job, his lifestyle where he lived who he associated with, he couldn’t function in regular reality and slowly unwound after that. He is a really amazing guitar player it was a pixies tribute band back in the 90s days such a bummer!!!!!
15points