“I’ll Never Do That To My Kids”: 30 Things Boomer Parents Did That Traumatized Their Kids

One uppers. 'I feel...' 'Well at least [you don't have to...]' It's crushing. My kids are 21 and 18. 2020 affected their senior and freshman years, respectively. I got so much s**t from older people when I would say it made me sad they had to go through this, etc. 'KIDS THEIR AGE WERE GOING TO WAR,' blah blah. Like, yeah, and that really sucked for them. I'm not comparing the circumstances; I am just acknowledging my kids' feelings because it sucks?

Nitpicking. If I got a B, I was asked why wasn't it an A. When I got an A, I was asked why it wasn't it 100%. When I got 100%, I was asked why my handwriting was terrible.

Forcing kids to eat, finish their plate, etc.... My mom had a terrible, abusive boyfriend that we lived with when I was 4 to 7. He would force me to eat all the food on my plate, and if I didn't, I was beat. The food was so disgusting, I just couldn't bring myself to eat it. I preferred his MRE's [military ready-to-eat meals] to the food he cooked. A few years later, I went to live with family friends. (They never knew about the abuse.) They ALWAYS joked and commented about what a good eater I was. I've always been severely underweight, so I've always been able to impress people with how much I can eat. ... I promised myself I would NEVER force my kids to eat, and I never did. When I cooked something new, my only rule was that everyone had to try one bite. That's it. If you don't like it, cool, but you can't turn your nose up to it without even tasting it.

My stepmom used to record my mental breakdowns and threaten to post them on Facebook. One time she actually did…all of her friends and family commented how awful it was that she would post it, and she deleted it, but the harm was already done. Every single time I saw family for the next few months, it was just, 'Are you okay? I saw what happened; are you alright?' It was so embarrassing.

My boomer mother thought it was hilarious to mercilessly mock anything I liked, no matter how harmless - not just to me but to anybody around. She basically embarrassed me out of liking so many things until I finally developed a "f*** you I won't let you spoil this for me" attitude about it. And no, before anyone says it, she wasn't doing me any favors. To this day I'm reticent to tell people about things I like because I'm half-expecting to be mocked.

My mom was actually the previous generation (silent) but my Dad was a boomer. Both of them smoked in the house, the car, made me sit in smoking sections. I have always HATED smoking so it was extra s****y.

Satanic Panic victim here. My parents let my church exorcise my cabbage patch doll in front of me, in our living room. I was 6.

They burned Cabby in a stew pot on a stack of dictionaries with rubbing alcohol. I’m 43 and I can still smell him.

Acting like my very existence is burdening them. Both of my parents, though excellent parents for the most part, were guilty of this. I get it, life can be frustrating especially as a single parent (my parents divorced when I was 6), but your kid doesn't understand any of that. They're not gonna know why you groaned or muttered 'goddammit' when they ask to be fed or say they don't feel well, and they're just going to think it's because of them. I'm 24 now, and to this day, I still have trouble asking anyone for help or expressing my needs, whether it's a friend or a coworker or my S.O. I'd rather just sit in discomfort or put my own needs aside so as to not 'bother' the people I'm with.

lucidmined: Touching me when I didn't want to be touched. Forcing hugs and kisses. Tickling me and getting mad when my body reacted and I hurt her. When my kids tell me stop, I will stop. When they say they don't want any physical touch, then we won't have physical touch (unless explicitly necessary — running in traffic or something else dangerous). She did the best with what she knew, but she didn't know much. I'll just do better when my time comes.
half-blood-: My parents were pretty great, but I hated how we were forced to greet our extended family members with a hug and kiss 'Give aunt Huan a hug and kiss.' How about no since I don’t know aunt Huan and don’t think I've even met her before. How about you let me just say hi and not be uncomfortable as f**k? Our kids only had to say hi to be polite. No forced physical contact.

According to my dad, I have Pepsi in my bottles in pics because they thought keeping me caffeinated all day meant I'd sleep better at night. A lot more questionable decisions followed.

To use ‘ I will pull down your pants and spank you in front of everyone’ as a behaviour modification technique.
It sounds soo wrong now
Needless to say the old witch will be going into a home.

Remember how there used to be half-size cans of beer? My dad would give me a mini-Budweiser to 'settle me down.' This was ages three–four. I tell people I quit drinking when I started kindergarten and didn't begin again 'til college.

My mom would send me to the nearby 7-11 with a hand-written note giving me permission to buy cigarettes for her…..and the clerk would accept it!

Fighting in front of us and slamming doors, complaining about the other parent to their kids behind another parent's back. Then consistently having the gall to literally tell us this is normal behavior in a relationship.

Ever be really excited about something you've done, tell someone about it, and have them give a half-hearted 'That's nice' before going back to what they were doing, as if just politely acknowledging you exist is the same as being supportive? I'm going to try my hardest not to do that.

She never had time for me. Now that I'm older, she wants all of my undivided attention, but when I was little, she could only take me in small doses. She acted like going to my school events was a chore. Driving me places was a chore. Anything that had to do with me was a chore. I want my kids to feel loved all the time. So I will do my best to give them my undivided attention when they need me, to happily show up to all performances and school events, and to always be there for them.

Using humiliation as a form of punishment.

Stay married 'for the kids.' ... I never grew up knowing what a healthy normal relationship should be like and am only learning now in my mid-30s.

Telling [kids] that their dreams/hopes/aspirations are 'really f**king stupid' because 'no one makes money doing ____'... Like, sometimes fulfillment is more important that being super wealthy, ya doink.

hollyjazzy: Criticizing child’s weight.
114631: My dad used to make a pig oink sound every time I went for seconds or went to eat bread or any sort of sweets/dessert. I am so lucky I never developed an eating disorder from that.
Kazoua1: My parents sent me to a terrible dietitian when I was 8. I was put on a calorie counting diet as an 8-YEAR-OLD CHILD. My parents and sisters did not even support me while I was on this diet. They just kept eating all the things I couldn't eat in front of me. ... It is the reason why I keep contact with my family to a minimum.
RunnerInterrupted: I love my mom, and we have a great relationship, but I didn’t realize how toxic her relationship with her weight was and how it affected me as a child until well into adulthood. She urged me to count calories and watch my weight before I even hit middle school. I lost 15 lbs this summer due to a relapse of my depression, and she has been showering me with compliments ever since. Does not feel great