83 People Share The Red Flags That Made Them See A Loved One In A Completely Different Light

You might feel dumb for not seeing the signs for a while, but you don’t want to ignore them forever either. In general, though, many people have been growing increasingly wary of those around them.

Americans, for example, trust each other less than they did a few decades ago. The share of adults who said “most people can be trusted” declined from 46% in 1972 to 34% in 2018, according to the General Social Survey.

In a 2023–24 Pew Research Center poll, an identical 34% said most people can be trusted.

Part of social trust is rooted in personal experience. People learn to trust others based on how they themselves have been treated.

But scarring events that reduce trust—including many from this list—may lead to viewing others with greater suspicion.

Also, some groups tend to trust others less than others.

For example, Americans with lower levels of education or income are less likely to say that most people can be trusted. But many other personal characteristics are associated with trust levels, including age and gender.

Reading these stories, you might wonder if it's better to just remain a skeptic and doubt the people around you. After all, common sense tells us that if people are too trusting, they might create problems for themselves, such as falling prey to scams. And distrust can be a rational response to a life full of hardship.

But on the other hand, trust lubricates the frictions of daily life. It makes working together easier, whether we're talking about a relationship or a project at work. And if we take an even broader look, society needs confidence that people will respect contracts, repay loans, and behave honestly—higher trust is also associated with better-functioning democratic institutions.

So perhaps, as in many things, the golden mean is the best approach: staying open to others while still keeping your eyes open for warning signs.