30 Stories From Married People Who Wish They Were Single But Are Stuck With Spouses They Hate

If falling in love is free, getting out of it costs your couch, your car, and half your sanity. Between legal fees, splitting assets, and potentially needing two of everything, many people simply can’t afford to leave a bad marriage. Especially when kids are involved and the thought of pushing your family into poverty becomes a very unromantic reality.

As the pros explain, financial concerns are one of the top reasons unhappy couples stay together. And most of the Redditors who answered this post feel the same way. Money may not buy happiness, but apparently, it can lease misery in a two-bedroom apartment with shared custody.

Listen, I get it. You don’t want your kids to grow up splitting holidays, feeling like a ping-pong ball of guilt and parental disappointment. But here’s the thing: kids know.

They can feel the tension, even if no one’s yelling. Staying together solely for the kids can sometimes do more harm than good.

But why do those without financial concerns or kids stay with a spouse they dislike? Well, some people just can’t be alone. Not because they’re clingy or needy, but because they’ve never had to.

One Redditor shared how their mom had never lived alone a single day in her adult life, and the fear of doing so was more terrifying than living with someone she didn’t love.

To better understand why so many people stay in marriages they say they’re unhappy in, and how that affects their emotional well-being, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of the book “Am I Lying to Myself?: How To Overcome Denial and See the Truth.”

She told us that “Some couples remain in difficult relationships because of financial constraints—they simply can't afford to separate or divorce. Others stay because children are involved, and they want to preserve a sense of family and stability.” But beyond that, there’s also a powerful mix of denial and hope, as many believe things will change or that their partner will come around.

However, staying in a marriage that no longer brings joy or emotional safety doesn’t come without a cost. Greer shared that chronic dissatisfaction in a relationship can lead to serious mental and emotional fallout—frequent arguments, suppressed anger, emotional burnout, and even physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues.

We asked Dr. Greer whether staying together for the kids is ever a healthy choice. While many assume it’s always harmful, Greer said that’s not necessarily true. In some cases, particularly when children are still very young, staying together temporarily might feel like the best decision. Parents may choose to wait until the children are more emotionally mature before making a difficult transition.

Of course, not every decision to stay is about kids. Greer explained that the fear of being alone—fear of rejection, of never finding love again—can be a powerful motivator. She noted that many people begin to emotionally check out without realizing it—lashing out, feeling constantly drained, or walking through their days filled with quiet resentment.

For those who feel trapped but aren’t quite ready to leave, Greer recommends a method she calls “stepping back without stepping out.” It’s about reclaiming personal space and independence within the relationship—setting boundaries, making decisions for yourself, and reducing the effort you spend trying to “fix” things. It’s a way to rebuild your emotional strength while still deciding your next move.

Finally, we asked Dr. Greer how someone can know it’s time to end their marriage. She explained that people usually just know when it’s time to let go. “When you no longer believe things will improve, and when the emotional connection has been replaced by resentment, detachment, or emotional exhaustion.”

But not all is doomed and not every unhappy marriage is meant to end, or to stay miserable. The ability to repair conflict, not avoid it, is what keeps marriages strong.

So, should you stay or should you go? Well, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Divorce isn’t a failure, and staying in a bad marriage isn’t noble by default.

But if you're stuck in the in-between, where “I hate them” is just code for “I’m deeply unhappy,” it might be time to ask yourself if you’re staying out of fear, habit, or because deep down, you still believe there’s something worth saving.