Funny,FailsAUG 15, 2022

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online

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We’ve all been there — times we said something so dumb, we wished the ground would just swallow us up. After all, even the brightest of us are not immune to making mistakes as they are an inevitable part of human nature. Just think of all the naive hopes, faulty assumptions, and plain wrong opinions we carry with us throughout our lives without questioning — everyone is bound to have their brain.exe stopped working moments.

So a few months ago, Redditor Xlh883dragster decided to help us come to terms with our collective idiocy and show that blunders can strike us at any time. They reached out to fellow members of 'Ask Reddit' with a question: "What’s something you’ve heard someone say that was so incredibly, mind numbingly stupid that you’ll remember it the rest of your life?"

The thread immediately became a hit as hundreds of people offered a glimpse into other people’s embarrassing moments, both funny and relatable. Scroll down to enjoy reading through these entertaining responses, upvote your favorite ones, and be sure to tell us all about the stupidest things you’ve ever done in the comments! Then if you’re keen on even more stories of people acting silly, check out our earlier piece right here.

#1

50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online

Someone asked me how the guy that donated his heart to me was doing.

enitsp, jesse orrico

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372points

#2

Friend: "I've always wondered how goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm."

Me: "Ayo what the f**k?"

Friend: "I know, crazy, right? With ponies at least you can see them grow into horses but the goats??"

Corvus_Manufaktura, Dorothea OLDANI

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324points

#3

My wife's Grandmother was on her death bed in 2015, right around Christmas. I was scheduled to work that Christmas Eve... she took a turn for the worst that morning and I was told we'd all better get to the house quick. Tried to call my manager, no answer, left him a voicemail. I called the manager on duty and said I'm sorry it's just not happening today I have a family crisis. Duty manager said absolutely no problem. Called their manager too to ensure I covered all my bases. They both said take all the time you need. Was supposed to work the weekend after too. No problem, we'll get you covered. She died that Sunday.

Get back to work Tuesday. My own manager comes to my desk, he's pissed at me. Why didn't I show up for work those days? I told him the situation, told him I'd called everyone to ensure I was covered. His response? "Well, you should have planned that better". This is the only time I've ever seen my cube mate, this mild mannered Iranian I'd worked with for years, get upset. He leapt out of his seat, grabbed my manager by his arm and dragged him to his office. Apparently the shouting match went on for some time, I was too busy sitting at my desk with my jaw on the floor processing what he just said.

That manager was an a*****e. My coworker is one cool dude. I never got an apology, but I note he was fired for unrelated reasons a few months later so f**k him.

zerbey, Jose Losada

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291points

We managed to get in touch with Redditor Xlh883dragster, Brad, who was kind enough to have a chat about his thread. When asked about what inspired him to start this conversation in the first place, he told Bored Panda he’s not 100% sure where it came from. "It was just one of those things that kind of materialize or occur randomly in your consciousness. However, I have been binge-watching (and re-watching) 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and 'Seinfeld' recently, so that could have had something to do with it."

Brad explained these popular sitcoms have put him in this weird frame of mind. "[It] has me thinking about ordinary day-to-day things that happen to me or random thoughts that streak through my mind in the context of 'Hey, that would have been a funny scene in Curb' or 'That would have been a hilarious Seinfeld character', followed by the respective theme song playing in my head," the Redditor added.

When asked about the avalanche of replies his thread received, Brad said it felt good to put something out there that many people connected to. "I definitely didn’t expect it to get the response that it did," he added. "But was pleasantly surprised (and slightly mortified at the thought of trying to read all of them) when I started to see hundreds and then thousands of replies flooding my inbox."

#4

Banning abortion will stop abortions.

fonduesalsa, Philip Cohen

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288points

#5

Substitute teacher told me the moon is bigger than the sun that's why it blocks the sun during an eciplse. Was in grade 4 I argued with her.

Amelor_Rova, Andrés Gómez

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282points

#6

That Darwin was half right and that black people evolved from monkeys but white people were the descendants of Adam and Eve.

The same guy went on about what an idiot his heart doctor was because he was Indian. Yeah, that guy is dead from a heart attack now. Oh well.

rhett342, Hans Veth

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281points

As you’re scrolling through this list, you can’t help but feel entertained by the dumb things that inevitably leave our mouths. While it makes for some cringe-worthy material, we humans seem to always feel intrigued by these stories.

Brad shared a few reasons people are drawn to devour stupid things others overhear. "First is, it’s funny. I found myself laughing out loud at several of the quotes that were posted. Some were just absolutely hilarious. It’s the whole concept of Schadenfreude — laughing at others' misfortune. We do it because laughing makes us feel good."

The other explanation we enjoy reading about these moments is that it offers us comfort and makes us feel slightly better about our own embarrassing blunders. After all, they represent a certain universal truth — we all sometimes hold false hopes and wrong beliefs that are hilariously stupid. "It’s a little bit of a confidence boost, and also something you can relate to as a fellow traveler. Some people might think 'Thank god I’m not the only one who thought or said the same thing' or 'Whew, at least I know I’m not the dumbest person on Earth!'"

#7

A flight was delayed due to snow on the runway, a woman complained saying “damn it this happens every year, why don’t they put a roof over the runway or something”.

Bangkokbeats10, Merve Sensoy

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267points

#8

One of my college roommates wandered in while we were watching JAWS. It’s the final 15 minutes. The shark is tearing the Orca apart. It comes to the scene where the shark heaves itself up on the stern, the roommate says,

“It’s pretty neat how they trained that shark to do that.”

Dear reader, he was serious.

jabberwox, Ritesh Man Tamrakar

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263points

#9

How do dogs in China learn Chinese. He was under the assumption that dogs just naturally spoke English.

Better_Collection840, Hannah Lim

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249points

Moreover, these stories can "teach people that we all say a lot of dumb things, and may have incorrect or false beliefs, but it doesn’t mean you’re uneducated or stupid, and shouldn’t be labeled as such," Brad added.

"There’s a phrase I like, and that’s 'Common sense is learned'. No one was just born with common sense, it's not innate. It’s built through experiences and everyone’s are different, and we all followed a different path to get where we are today. So what’s common sense for one person isn’t necessarily for another."

#10

New girl at work...she was horrified that we eat the eggs that come from our chickens. She insisted store bought were normal good eggs. She then really blew my mind when she said she doesn't eat chicken, so she only buys "hens". She about had a panic attack when I explained hen is just lady chicken. Very sheltered

Fubar_Ranch, Thomas Iversen

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237points

#11

I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn't enough proof.

Ahkwatic, Gabrielle Henderson

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231points

#12

I had this friend I met for lunch once after not seeing her for a while. She said, "I never see you. I miss you." I told her that I've been working a lot and that I've worked 9 days straight. She goes, "HOW? THERE'S ONLY 7 DAYS IN A WEEK!".

Illustrious_Low_6583, Estée Janssens

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230points

Brad stressed that while these replies represent some hilariously painful things people voiced out loud, he guaranteed that many of them were said by intelligent people. "Just because someone says (or does, for that matter) something really dumb or absurd, doesn’t mean they are stupid or ignorant."

"My advice for anyone that made the list or has said things that still make them cringe and haunt their memories to this day is just to say — Welcome to the club! We all have our moments. Everyone’s brain farts. The smartest among us think, say, and do some really dumb things, so don’t ever let yourself or anyone else make you feel bad, stupid, or less than," Brad said.

#13

A girl in my high school said that of she and her hypothetical husband had undesirable face features that they didn’t want to pass on to a child (like a bumpy nose) one of them would just plastic surgery before conceiving a child. When I said that with her logic if both me and my partner chopped off our index fingers our child would be born without index fingers. She said that wasn’t the same thing. We were 17 at the time. I still think about that, 18 years later.

BannedFromIKEA, Olga Guryanova

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220points

#14

When I was 17, I casually mentioned to one of the high school nurses that I didn't want to have kids until I was at least 25, and she told me that by the time I was 25 it would be "too late" to have my first baby and I should have two kids by the time I was 20. She then called the girl who got pregnant at the beginning of freshman year "the smartest girl in town" because she was the same age as me and on her third baby.

I remember it so well because it was the last time I ever saw her. She apparently told the other nurse about the conversation, and the other nurse was so revolted that she reported her to the school board, who then transferred her to the elementary school (which she then got fired from for calling a girl's clothes "slutty".)

illumi-thotti

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218points

#15

My friend once turned around to me and said "i don't believe in oxygen".

Crafty_Attention_164, engin akyurt

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215points

While it looks like there's no limit to dumb things people end up saying aloud, it's also true to our brilliantly foolish actions. As Balazs Aczel, an associate professor at ELTE University in Budapest, and author of the study What is stupid?: People's conception of unintelligent behavior, explained to us in a previous interview, people use the label "stupid" for three very different types of actions.

"We call the first category 'confident ignorance'. In these actions, people's confidence tends to exceed what their skills or knowledge would allow," the professor told Bored Panda. "In other words, they think they know how to do risky things, and they do it. For example, they go bungee jumping with their home-made gear, such as a metal cord."

#16

At KFC one woman was surprised to learn that Buffalo wings were made of chicken, she actually thought that buffaloes had wings.

Also, a couple of people thought that islands float.

MasterOfPuppets72, Leon Pauleikhoff

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210points

#17

My boyfriend's dad said the vaccine was full of aids and shards of glass.

VioletssadestVibezs9, cdc

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201points

#18

"Breastfeeding your child is so gross! You're basically teaching it to have sex!"

Said by a 21 year old woman

refinnej78

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197points

The second type of "stupid" happens due to absentmindedness. In this case, people have sufficient knowledge to act rationally, except they don't monitor their actions. "Whenever we turn into auto-pilot, we risk doing something very irrational. A good example is a professor who was so engaged in a deep conversation with his colleagues at his home that when he went to his bedroom to get a book, seeing the bed he got into his pajamas and went to sleep," Aczel explained.

The third kind of stupidity is "lack of control". "Here, people know how to do things right and are aware of their actions, they still make that mistake," he continued. "Impulsivity and short-term emotions can make us act against our best thinking. In heated conversations, we can easily lose control. Overindulging in food or drinks can also seem stupid the day after."

#19

My sister once asked if something was spelled right. As I was looking, she said "it must be right, there isn't a red line under it."
She was hand writing on paper.
I'll mock her forever for that one.

Also, when I was drunk, I once said "I'm quite short for my height."

Unquietdodo

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190points

#20

The sky is blue because it’s reflecting the color of the ocean. There are many things wrong with that, starting with the fact that WE ARE IN KENTUCKY.

AltruisticCats, jenna duffy

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190points

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