Sometimes the universe hits us with a curveball that seems impossible to fully recover from. Divorce is one of those things that can shake the ground under our feet and expose our deepest fears and vulnerabilities. Not to mention that it fundamentally alters the trajectory of our life.
However, we humans are often more resilient than we think and can come out of dark moments stronger than before. A good example comes from the Reddit user BondEmilyBond. They recently posted a question to the platform, asking divorced folks to share the lesson they took away from the experience. Here are some of the most upvoted replies they've received.
#1
How content I could be on my own. Never having to compromise throughout the mundane moments because you are living alone is very freeing.
108points
#2
The person you married is not the same person you divorce.
102points
Despite common misconceptions, the last few decades have seen a decline in such stories.
In 2000, a total of 944,000 divorces and annulments occurred, and the crude divorce rate was 4.00 per 1,000 population during that year. By 2021, it had fallen to 2.5 per 1,000 population, with just 689,308 people divorcing that year.
(Interestingly, the marriage rate has declined too, dropping from 8.2 per population in 2000 to 6.00 per population in 2021.)
#3
I expected to be heartbroken but mostly just felt relieved.
95points
#4
Not me, but my dad and I once had a conversation about it. Basically he was pissed that he lived with 4 women and the top of the fridge was always dirty. ( He's 6'2" and the only one who could see it) he said once he was on his own he realized he should have just cleaned it himself.
92points
#5
Freedom after being controlled is amazing. Even in the little things. .
90points
#6
That I actually wasn’t the problem and how much of myself and my energy got diluted and stolen by him.
86points
#7
I felt even more lonely when I was married.
83points
#8
That the person I thought was the love of my life and soulmate could be so unbelievably cruel.
75points
#9
I always thought my older girls would one day resent me for getting divorced from their dad. 20 years plus later they told me it was one of the best things I ever did for myself and for them.
72points
#10
How quickly I recovered financially without my ex’s complete dependence on me instead of helping to support the family.
66points
#11
How starved for love and affection I was and how much confidence in myself I had lost.
63points
#12
I am not the same person I was almost 6 years ago. A part of me had to die for the rest of me to flourish and see how bright the world truly is. It isn’t the end of the world when divorce happens, it’s the beginning of a new adventure!
I’m also shocked at how long a bag of Doritos lasts in my home now. And they are all for me!
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59points
#13
It hurts like hell even if you should have done it years ago.
57points
#14
How much calmer I am. I had turned into a nasty person always yelling at my ex for not cleaning and doing basic chores for himself. I did not want to be a mom to a grown child who had yet to realize he was an adult.
Life is much more peaceful. The silence after was worth it.
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57points
#15
That none of our friends believed that my ex was abusive. He was a covert narcissist and was extremely charming. I never knew who he really was even after 25 years.
56points
#16
He was able to feed and to take care of our daughter all by himself too! Who would have seen that coming?
51points
#18
That you can survive on your own. A lot of time is spent wondering how you can make it on your own after so many years together. You can do it and it can be better on the other side.
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49points
#19
That relationship PTSD is a thing. I have a hard time even forming new friendships with people, much less trying to date.
48points
#20
That it's easier to be content with your life when you aren't feeling hurt, used, or ignored.
Missdermeanerthanyou, https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-standing-on-grass-field-frq5Q6Ne9k4 / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Report46points