People asking their relatives for help with something they’re good at is not uncommon. Them expecting to get such help or services for free or not treating the relative the same way they would any other professional is not unheard of either.
When this redditor, a professional photographer, agreed to take pictures at their cousin’s wedding for a lower rate, they encountered no problems with the happy couple. Unlike some members of the family, they loved the wedding pictures and got a good laugh out of them, while others stirred up drama over the moments that were captured. Scroll down to find the full story below.
Wedding pictures allow the happy couple to go back to the beautiful moment time and again
Image credits: Orhan Pergel / pexels (not the actual photo)
This redditor was taking pictures at their cousin’s wedding when they encountered some rather rude guests
Image credits: Prostock-studio / envato (not the actual photo)
Image source: KindPlane7403
Repeatedly asking someone for favors might not be a good idea, even if that someone is a friend or a family member
Image credits: Christina Morillo / pexels (not the actual photo)
Chances are, a relative or a friend would be more than happy to help out their loved one on their special day, maybe even provide their services free of charge. Needless to say, in such cases, their kindness shouldn’t be taken for granted. More importantly, turning to them for help shouldn’t become a habit or a given.
That’s because expecting someone to constantly bend backwards for you—especially getting nothing in return—can be seriously detrimental to the relationship of the people involved. It’s no secret that money (in cases when some pay is offered after all) often becomes a cause for conflict between friends and family, and favors can only get someone so far when they’re constant and one-sided.
Situations when people seek help offering little or nothing in return are especially common among creatives, with such people as photographers, designers, or social media experts often becoming the targets of their loved ones and acquaintances. Many of them have likely had friends asking to let them pick their brain, or to share their expertise in exchange for a coffee, for instance, which is likely worth a fraction of what their hourly rate is.
Such “pick your brain” situations were discussed in a piece published by Forbes, titled Here's What To Say When Someone Asks To 'Pick Your Brain' About Social Media Over Coffee, which emphasized that asking for favors based on one’s professional experience is essentially asking for free work.
“There's no latte on Earth (even with Starbucks' newly raised prices) that would cover what my social media consulting company charges to come to your office, interview you and your team about your business, do competitive research, present ideas and best practices — and then build out and execute your social media strategy,” the author of the piece, social media entrepreneur Natalie Zfat, wrote.
“For me, social media is a business,” Zfat continued, pointing out that providing social media expertise is how she and her employees earn a living. She then added that clients are happy to pay for her and said employees’ time, as they’re providing a service and their time is a precious and limited resource, and raised a very valid question: “Would you offer to pay for any other service with a drink?”
Sharing your expertise for free is not always worth it
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)
If your answer to Zfat’s question is ‘No, I would not pay other people for their services with a drink’, chances are, you shouldn’t pay your friends and family with perishables either. Some people would argue that when it comes to friends and family, you should aim to invest in supporting their business—by paying for their service, for instance—rather than expect them to help out free of charge, which might leave them with less time for paying customers.
The former editor-in-chief of Investor Junkie and expert in digital marketing Larry Ludwig suggested that contemplating certain points can help a professional decide whether or not the help that someone is asking for is something they can provide for free. He shared having no issue helping others himself if the work only takes a few hours of his time maximum, if there are no costs he must outlay himself, and if he knows that eventually somehow he'll be able to get a return favor from the other person. “I have an issue if it's very one-sided,” he added.
The OP decided that working at their cousin’s wedding at a lower rate was worth it; it was their favorite cousin, after all, and they liked the groom, too. However, they didn’t end up liking some of the guests, who didn’t try too hard holding their remarks in. And while some redditors thought the photographer was right to present them with the kind of pictures that they did, others felt they should have been more professional themselves; both sides of the camps shared their views in the comments.
The OP shared some more details in the comments section
The majority of fellow netizens didn’t think the OP did anything wrong
Some believed they were a bit of a jerk in the situation
