30 Petty And Insignificant Reasons People Turned Down Being In A Relationship With Someone

Nobody wants to spend the rest of their life with a person whose behavior, beliefs, or actions grate on their nerves. Just imagine living out the next 50 years with someone who can stop themselves from devouring a whole plate of cookies. What a psychopath! 

Regardless of the reasons, nearly half of U.S. adults say that dating has become more difficult in the last ten years. Around 43% of people have trouble finding a person who actually meets all of their expectations. The only thing is, based on this list, you’ve got to wonder whether some people can’t find good matches or if they’re actually setting the bar way too high.

There are definitely some incredibly trivial dating pet peeves on this list that may not feel like such a big deal if you find the right person. What about the rest of the reasons that may actually make sense? 

To get an expert’s opinion on this matter, Bored Panda reached out to Christan Marashio, a trauma-recovery-certified dating expert, podcaster, and writer. She offers direct, no-nonsense dating advice that empowers women over 35 to prioritize themselves, embrace singlehood, and navigate modern relationships with clarity and confidence.

She told us that “one important distinction to make is between a preference and a bias. A preference is when you are attracted to multiple options but have one or two that you prioritize. Preference means you don't exclude the other options. A bias is when you exclusively choose only one of multiple options. These kinds of choices are rooted in a negative opinion of the other options.” 

“An example would be someone who only dated men over six feet tall or only dated women who were conventionally thin. In those cases, people need to examine that prejudice and determine why they exclude other options. That preference is actually a prejudice, the foundation of which is usually built on its perceived societal value,” Christan explained.

There is so much more to relationships than the biases we give so much importance to. “A truly solid relationship is built on much deeper foundations like trust, respect, communication, and shared values,” said Amie, the relationship coach we contacted.

Amie Leadingham is a Master-certified relationship coach, published author, wife, and mother of two amazing pugs. Her mission is to help singles find lasting love through ‘conscious dating’ and empower them to heal past programming, build self-confidence, and find a loving, genuine connection. That’s why she has been named one of LA’s “best dating coaches.”

Amie told us that “compatibility concerns may play a big part in why people judge each other on these trivial matters. While these are not deal-breakers, the preferences can hint at a difference in lifestyle that might cause conflict down the road.”

“Trivial matters like chewing sounds, hairstyle, or what kind of phone someone uses are not solid indicators of a relationship's strength. [However,] persistent body odor can create a significant barrier to intimacy and affect attraction levels in a relationship. While it's important not to fixate on minor quirks, addressing hygiene concerns can be essential for maintaining physical and emotional intimacy in a relationship,” she explained.

The problem with skipping over someone because of their bad texting skills or how they chew with their mouth open is that you might miss out on someone who is perfect for you in a lot of other ways. 

Experts say that being picky might save you from wasting your time on relationships that aren’t a good fit, but it may also severely narrow your dating pool. It’s really important to find a balance between both so that you aren’t left to endlessly swipe through a laundry list of dating apps.

“Relationships and attraction aren't black and white,” explained Anthony Recenello, the social and relationship coach we also reached out to. He’s been working since 2005 to help people start amazing relationships by learning to find their tribe and embrace their individuality.

Anthony told us that “if someone has sensory issues, chewing sounds can be a dealbreaker. If someone has a natural odor, that can be cultural. It's not the petty things, it's about seeing someone as a human vs. an asset. I think it's obvious which is damaging to a relationship.”

You learn a lot about yourself when you meet, pick, and date a potential romantic partner. Some of our “petty reasons” may also stem from things we don’t like about ourselves or even underlying feelings that we haven’t yet dealt with.

Christan Marashio explained that “preferences need to be reconsidered when they become too limiting. When that preference causes someone to reject otherwise compatible potential partners, there's typically more going on beneath the surface. If it becomes a pattern, people need to ask themselves if they're truly emotionally available or just going through the motions.

If you struggle with rejecting people for extremely petty reasons, psychologists say that you can:

1. Write down your honest feelings and thoughts about what’s exactly stopping you from moving forward with dates and actually getting into a relationship.
2. Ask your friends to pay attention and pinpoint the exact moments when you find fault with a prospective partner. 
3. Make a rule to go on at least 2-3 dates with a person before making a decision about taking things ahead.

Rather than giving up on dating altogether, it may help to try out some of these suggestions and see if that does the trick.