The story we're about to tell you today seems to have come straight from the screens of old TVs from twenty years ago. At least in the early '00s, such comedies were incredibly popular - from National Lampoon's Van Wilder with a young Ryan Reynolds to numerous second-rate examples of dorm humor.
However, according to the author of the story, the user u/ethidiumbrimide, these events unfolded exactly two decades ago. Damn it, maybe popular culture really does shape our consciousness? Although, this post is not about philosophy at all, it's about petty revenge.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post studied in college 2 decades ago and had to share a roof with his high school acquaintance, 'Nicole'
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The girl turned out to be a nightmare roommate and the author regretted agreeing to rent the room almost immediately
Image credits: ethidiumbrimide
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Over the months Nicole did everything to make the author's life hell
Image credits: ethidiumbrimide
Image credits: Михаил Крамор / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So the guy ended up breaking the lease beforehand, even losing the $500 deposit
Image credits: ethidiumbrimide
Image credits: Erik Mclean / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Before leaving, the author urinated in the shower, in all Nicole's shampoos and lotions and even onto her toothbrush
Image credits: ethidiumbrimide
20 years later, he met Nicole and her hubby in the pub, and when they started badmouthing him for being a bad roommate, he unveiled the truth to them and all his friends
So, about twenty years ago, the Original Poster (OP), then a young biology student, had the imprudence to agree to an offer from his auntie and rent a room in an apartment that the aunt's friend had bought for her children. The OP assumed that his roommate would be this lady's son, but it turned out to be her daughter, 'Nicole'.
The OP knew Nicole from high school, and even then she had a less-than-flattering reputation among schoolers. The aunt assured the author that the girl had matured since then, but the first couple of weeks under the same roof proved that this was not true.
Over the course of several months, Nicole did literally everything to turn our hero's life into hell. She banged on the wall of his room at night and threw his food out of the refrigerator (citing that it spoiled her food). She accused him of urinating in the shower (although the author swears that he never did this)...
She scared the author's girlfriend to death when she once spent the night in his room, but allowed her numerous friends and BF to steal the OP's beer from the fridge. In general, our hero wasn't happy that he gave in to his aunt's persuasion - and she, in turn, claimed that he should be grateful to her for helping with housing.
The original poster's patience snapped long before the lease expired - and he even elected to lose the deposit of half a thousand dollars in order to quickly move out of Nicole's unfriendly place. However, on the last day, the OP couldn't resist taking some small revenge.
The roommate had always accused him of peeing in the shower - well, our hero did just that in the end. And on top of that, he urinated into her shampoos, lotions and even onto her toothbrush. And then he packed all his belongings and left. Rode off into the sunset, like the cowboys in old classic westerns...
And so, we make a two-decade timeskip - right to the present day, when the original poster was sitting in a pub with friends and drinking beer. And guess who came to the table? That's right, Nicole with her husband (her then boyfriend)! As it turned out, the guy worked with someone who was sitting at the table with the author.
Word for word - Nicole and her husband started recalling how the OP had once shared a roof with her, and went right into badmouthing him severely. Yes, that's right - telling everyone gathered what a nightmare roommate the author allegedly was. Here, our hero couldn't stand it - and the beer inside him demanded to unveil the truth too.
So he told them, in full detail, what Nicole was like, and how he got revenge on her in the end. And after that, the original poster just got up and went home. Neither his former roommate, nor her hubby tried to stop him. They were probably just too shocked to do anything...
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Well, history knows many ways to take revenge on an unbearable roommate, and there are even entire articles with collections of ideas for petty but offensive revenge. One such article, on The Tab web portal, suggests, among other concepts, stealing the roommate’s shampoo.
"The shower can be an angry place. Lots of time to think, lots of time to get into a fake argument about the massive pile of recycling that no one's taken out yet. So no wonder that multiple students admit to have stolen their housemates toiletries to satisfy their need for revenge. It's only fair," the article claims. Overall, the original poster really did make the shower 'an angry place...'
The opinions of the commenters on the original post were divided into two categories. The first is admiration for the author's wit. The second is indignation at his grammar (the OP reasonably objected to the second category of comments that he wrote this post while drunk after a night of hanging out with friends). So we are more interested in the comments of the first category.
"This is great. Every time you don't see her and she sees you, just know you are living in her head. For life. Isn't that great?" one of the responders wrote. "…and that’s why the milk was sour, Nicole," another person in the comments added wittily.
Moreover, some commenters do urge the author to continue this story further - at each subsequent probable meeting with Nicole. "If you encounter her on the street, just reach up and massage your hair like you're shampooing..." one of the folks suggested. And how would you, our dear readers, act in a similar situation?
People in the comments mostly praised the author's wit, and suggested he go on mocking Nicole in further encounters
