Nowadays, it seems like as soon as people board a plane, all their common sense goes out the window. Maybe there’s also something about being stuck in a metal box soaring above the clouds that makes people forget how to be courteous.
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A prime example is what happened to a woman who got a window seat on a flight. She was extremely excited about sitting there until the guy beside her kept leaning over her to take pictures. She secretly recorded him every time he reached over, and folks were surprised by his behavior.
More info: TikTok
Nobody wants to have their personal space invaded, especially while they’re stuck in their seat during a flight
Image credits: fanntayeule
The TikToker, Fanny Gagnon, was seated near the window on a 3-hour flight from Germany to Spain when the guy next to her kept reaching over to capture the view outside
She was initially excited to be given a window seat and had taken a picture to send to her mom. But her excitement soon turned to annoyance after her seatmate repeatedly invaded her personal space to take photos of the view. Fanny’s video showed him reaching over her with his phone at least 5 times, which is honestly 4 times too many.
Plane etiquette usually dictates that you should maintain personal space in the cramped quarters of the aircraft. This helps other passengers to feel comfortable and doesn’t cause any intrusion. But, apparently, not everybody thinks that way, as we can clearly see from the video.
Image credits: fanntayeule
Staying out of another’s person’s personal space is a flight etiquette rule that people should follow
Netizens were divided about this particular situation. Some felt that the man was excited, so it was okay for him to keep reaching over and taking photos. Others were shocked and annoyed by his actions and said that the TikToker should have stopped him immediately.
To better understand the situation, Bored Panda contacted Lisa Mirza Grotts, a 24-year certified etiquette expert. She helps clients and readers deal with business, social, and political situations. Lisa has a strong television, radio, newspaper, and online presence and has also been interviewed and quoted by some of the world’s top business and lifestyle publications.
Lisa explained that “the middle seat passenger clearly had more dollars than sense. The window seat passenger should not assume that the middle man thought he was in the wrong. He may have thought otherwise. Solution: ask to stop reaching over in a polite way to show boundaries. When all else fails, ring for the cabin crew. The last thing you want is to [do is] engage further, which may cause rage.”
Check out Fanny’s video here
Every passenger on board a flight just wants to get to their destination with minimal hassle
Image credits: fabrikasimf / Freepik (not the actual photo)
That’s exactly why airplane etiquette is so important. Experts state that although in most situations, you should think outside the box, when it comes to being a flight passenger, you should stay within the box. This means that you should stick to the confines of the seat you paid for and not encroach on someone else’s space.
To get even more context on this complex situation, we contact Jo Hayes, a world-leading etiquette expert/consultant and founder of EtiquetteExpert.org. She shared that she is the world’s only university-qualified etiquette consultant, having completed a Master's research thesis on manners and modern etiquette.
Jo said, “many of us have been in both positions in this situation: the person at the window, with a fellow passenger wanting to lean over and take a picture, and said leaning passenger. It’s completely understandable that a person in a non-window seat is keen to get a snap, or video, of the view, mid-flight. Especially when one is arriving at a new destination.”
“But, if one is not blessed to be in a window seat, there is a polite, and not-so-polite way, to go about doing this. Firstly, ask your neighbor, very politely, if you may lean over and snap a quick pic. The average person would be happy to oblige. Secondly, keep it quick. This is not the time to film a 10-minute sequence for your insta followers.”
“Remember, you’re intruding on this person’s personal space. Show respect, and keep your intrusion to a minimum. Express gratitude for their willingness to let you lean over, and offering a word of apology, ‘do forgive me for leaning over,’ wouldn’t go astray. You may also wish to ask the person at the window seat if they would mind taking your phone and snapping the pic for you; save the awkwardness of leaning over them,” Jo explained.
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man sitting next to Fanny was clearly one of the dreaded flight space invaders who don’t seem to understand what boundaries are. It didn’t seem like he asked her for permission to lean over and snap pics. Some netizens were disappointed that the TikToker didn’t stand up for herself and confront the guy.
We asked Jo how exactly Fanny should have handled the guy’s intrusion. She said, “every situation is different, and we’re not privy to all the background details for me to comment specifically. We don’t know the extent of the leaning over/picture taking. It may have been brief, with the man in question [being] very apologetic for leaning over multiple times.”
Jo added that “if it was excessive, I would encourage the window passenger to address the situation with [the] neighbor. The MO for such confrontations is, ‘be kind but clear.’ An example: ‘I hope you don’t mind my saying, but I’m feeling rather uncomfortable with you continuing to lean over. Would you mind leaving it there?’ That should do the trick 99% of the time.”
Image credits: Aleksei Zaitcev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Fanny’s video went viral and got 3.7 million views, 216.4k likes, and over 1k comments. It led to a huge debate about the right way to behave on planes. We thought of asking Jo if she could share some general etiquette rules that everyone should follow, especially with regard to fellow passengers.
She stated that “the rule of thumb for plane travel is the golden rule, which applies to all situations: ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ Good manners [involves] demonstrating kindness, charity, and respect for oneself and others, at all times, in all things.”
She also shared a couple of pointers, such as:
- “Not hogging armrests, not letting your legs/feet intrude into one’s neighbor’s space.
- Keeping earphone audio at a mid-range level (loud earphones can easily be heard by one’s neighbor).
- Offer to help other passengers with bags/luggage, especially the elderly or those who are clearly struggling with reaching overhead compartments.
- Don’t rush or be pushy when disembarking.
- Give those ahead of you time and space to get out of their seats, grab their luggage, and move out.
- Smile, be kind, be courteous.”
It doesn’t take much effort to be nice to one’s fellow plane passengers. Just being respectful can go a long way to making everyone feel comfortable during the flight. Of course, the guy in the video could have handled the situation differently. Hopefully, he ends up seeing it, and learning from his mistake.
Have you ever faced an issue like this during a flight? Do share your experience in the comments.
Some netizens shared examples of similar situations that they have faced while flying
