It's no secret that, sadly, some people have to struggle when it comes to getting food. It's just how unfairly our world is built. And if that weren't bad enough already, the lack of food can not only harm people's nutrition and health, but their social life and relationships, too.
A good proof of that is today's story. In it, a mom struggles to feed her 17 and 19-year-old kids, so she announces that from this point on, they have to fend for themselves, because "they're grown." Only little did she know this would make her daughter air out some grievances she had held onto for a long time.
More info: Reddit
It's a sad fact that a lot of people struggle with getting food in their day-to-day lives
Image credits: garetsvisual / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
If that fact alone wasn't bad enough, the lack of food not only harms their health, but can hurt their relationship as well, just like in today's story
Image credits: Eduardo Ramos / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A mom, struggling to provide food for her teen kids, announced that from this point on they have to fend for themselves
Image credits: pacoocimage / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her 17 year old daughter couldn't believe her ears – how is she supposed to do that while still at school and without a proper job?
Image credits: anon
So, she started lashing out at her mom about feeling as an unwanted kid and her mom kind of agreed with it, which hurt her even more
The 17-year-old OP is a high school student who lives in an area where it’s relatively hard to get a job, so she has to rely on her mom for financial help. But then, one day her mother announced that she would no longer buy food for her kids, because “they’re grown” and can buy it themselves.
Apparently, the family relies on SNAP, or the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, to get food, which has now been cut off due to the United States’ governmental shutdown. So, without getting this assistance, the mom was so stressed about not being able to afford food that she decided that everyone should fend for themselves.
Yet, her daughter didn’t like this plan even one bit. She went off on her mom about why she even had kids if she can’t take care of them, if they, as she has said, “ruined her life” and stuff like that.
Basically, she just expressed that she feels like an unwanted child. Even if you never felt like this, you can imagine that it’s not a pleasant feeling. In fact, it’s way more than that. Often enough, feelings like that tend to turn into a full-blown complex trauma.
Such traumas are usually brought on by prolonged, repeated distress, just like the messaging of “you weren’t wanted.” This thought can manifest through straightforward words or (sub)conscious behavior.
Image credits: Ben White / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
For example, dismissing a child's feelings, comparing them to others, overcontrolling, guilt-tripping, and being emotionally unavailable can be considered such behavior. Of course, these behaviors don’t inherently mean that parents didn’t want their kid, but often enough they can signify exactly that, especially if more than one of them occurs.
And, as we already said, it can turn into prolonged trauma for a kid. The effects of it can become evident through symptoms like feelings of shame, the belief that they’re unlovable, fear of abandonment, emotional dysregulation, imposter syndrome, and self-sabotage, to name a few.
In the OP’s case, she clearly felt at least some of them, since she felt the need to call out her mom’s behavior, which resulted in this whole predicament. That’s why the netizens didn’t feel like the girl did anything wrong here – she just expressed her frustration on the mom, who refused to take care of her minor daughter.
Granted, the mom later apologized, explaining that the whole thing stemmed from her stress about the food, but damage was already done.
Who do you think was in the wrong in the story? Please, share your thoughts with us!
Netizens told the girl that she wasn't in the wrong by airing out her hurt – the mom wanted to shed her parental responsibility on the minor daughter, so someone had to speak out
