Learning that you're about to have a baby is supposed to be an exciting moment in a person's life. It's like a step into a new path of your life - one with a responsibility you’ve never had before. But the thing about responsibilities is that not all people like them.
Just as not every person wants to be a parent. Whether for now or forever, the fact that they're not ready still stands. But if pregnancy still happens, it's important how they react to it, as it can break everything they’ve built until this point in a second.
More info: Reddit
While learning that you're going to be a parent should be exciting news for a person, it isn't always
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Just like in this story, where a woman anticipated that her boyfriend would take the news of her pregnancy happily
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She wrapped the reveal as a Christmas gift and put it under the tree
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But the second he unwrapped it, the whole mood turned sour, as he started screaming about being pressured into having a child
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So, she started to wonder if announcing it during Christmas was the wrong move
The OP and her boyfriend’s relationship has been moving in a serious way; they even talked about possibly getting engaged in the upcoming year. They have also spoken about how they want to have kids before the 28-year-old boyfriend turns 30.
So, when the woman found out that she was pregnant, she thought it was good news. She decided to announce it to her partner during Christmas, by wrapping a vintage baby rattle with a note attached, saying, “I’m pregnant,” under the tree as one of the presents.
When the day came, and he opened the present, the reaction was way different from what he had anticipated. The second he put two and two together, he started shouting about how she could do this to him, forcing him to be a parent. Then, he took his coat, stormed out, and hasn’t answered any messages she sent him, but has read them.
This made the OP spiral – was it a bad way to tell him the news? Or maybe she shouldn’t be having kids with him at all if he’s jumping between opinions on such a topic? Well, the question of whether to have kids and, yes, when to do so, plagues a lot of people. For those who know that at some point in their lives they want to parent a kid, the timing is crucial – you want to do that when you’re 100% ready.
But the thing is that it’s said that only a rare person feels 100% ready. Or maybe no one ever does, like getting stuck at 99% or something. After all, bringing a child into your care is a life-altering decision.
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Basically, the answer to the question of “Are you ready to be a parent?” is not a simple yes or no. Perhaps the question would be better phrased like “are you ready enough to be a parent?”, then the yes or no answer fits better. You don’t have to feel 100% sure, but you need to be sure enough that you can raise a proper person and give them the best conditions possible.
Another thing is whether your partner feels ready enough to be a parent, too. If they’re not, like the man in the story, it might not be the best time to bear a child. Having a neglectful parent while growing up can leave a lot of emotional scars for a kid that they have to lick over the course of their life, or get stuck with the trauma.
Yet, if one part of a couple desperately wants a kid, while the other is on the edge about the decision, it can cause a rift between them. So, there aren’t that many choices for relationships like that – they can have a child with one of them being unhappy with it, or they can not have any children with one of them being unhappy with it.
Both of the decisions are likely to lead them to build up resentment for each other for putting themselves in life situations they didn’t want. So, there’s a third option – a breakup. While it might be hard parting ways with someone you love, sometimes it can lead to better outcomes.
Just like in Friends, when Monica broke up with Richard, due to their differences on wanting children, and ended up with Chandler, with whom she was on the same page. So, maybe, as netizens suggested, that’s what the OP should do – leave her Richard, so she can find her Chandler.
What do you think - should the OP stay with the man who stormed out on her like that? Or what else should she do? Share all your opinions in the comments!
Some netizens pointed out that the woman is due for some hard decisions - does she wants to keep the baby or her boyfriend, as apparently keeping both of them is not an option
