A secret can only remain confidential if the people who know it keep it to themselves and don’t gossip about it. Unfortunately, not everybody can be relied on, and some folks love spilling other people’s top-secret information, even when they’re specifically told not to.
This is what a pregnant woman faced when her mother-in-law casually revealed her baby news to their entire family, despite being asked not to. The older woman refused to accept responsibility for her actions and played the victim when she was confronted.
More info: Reddit
It can be difficult to set boundaries with narcissistic relatives, especially if they’re unwilling to accept their mistakes
Image credits: sonjachnyj / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster was 11 weeks pregnant, she and her husband revealed the news to his mom and told her not to tell anyone else, so that they could do so themselves
Image credits: valeria_aksakova / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A few days later, the grandma-to-be revealed that she had told a few relatives the news already, and made many excuses for her behavior when the couple got mad
Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and her husband also learned that his mom was lying about them “bullying her,” and she was acting like she was the victim in the situation
Image credits: misfox
Even though the poster was annoyed at her mother-in-law for her actions, she felt glad that her husband was standing up to her and trying to set boundaries
Since the OP knew that her mom-in-law wasn’t living in the same city as them, she and her husband decided to reveal their pregnancy news early to her. They also told her not to share their secret with anyone else because they wanted to wait until they got their 13-week ultrasound done before revealing everything.
Although it might feel quite exciting to be in the know about someone’s secret, many experienced moms explain that it’s never right to share someone’s pregnancy news before they are ready. Doing so can end up breaking that person’s trust and also make them more cautious about telling their secrets in the future.
That’s exactly what happened after the couple got to know that the grandma-to-be had spilled the beans to more than six of her relatives. When they called her out on her impulsive behavior, she came up with a lot of excuses for what she had done and tried to turn the tables on them.
No expecting parent wants the joy of their pregnancy announcement snatched from them like this, which is why experts usually suggest initially revealing the news only to a trusted group. These individuals can then help call out anyone who seems to be violating boundaries by revealing the secret.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After the couple confronted the older woman, they tried their best to move on from the situation by ignoring her excuses and behavior. Unfortunately, since then, she had been spreading rumors about them and telling folks that she was getting bullied for sharing their pregnancy news.
Since the OP and her husband knew that they weren't in the wrong and that she was just trying to play the victim, they decided to get some space from her. Instead of engaging, they just peacefully ignored her tantrums and focused on their upcoming baby plans.
It can be quite difficult to set boundaries with narcissistic family members, but therapists state that the best way to do it is by setting the rules as a couple. When both partners back each other up and agree on the boundaries they should have with each other’s family members, then only will it work well.
Since the couple seems to be quite a good team, hopefully, the mother-in-law’s bad behavior won’t have much of an impact on them going forward. As long as they stay firm and protect their baby from her clutches, she might not be able to have as much power over their family.
What do you think is the best way to deal with an overbearing relative? Do share your solutions and opinions on this story.
Folks were shocked by the older woman’s crazy behavior and told the couple to keep her on an information diet
