Blood is thicker than water, meaning most people will always side with their family if push comes to shove. Testing this bond is probably a bad idea and could lead to a ruined relationship if you’re not careful.
One guy let his pregnant daughter move back home, much against his live-in girlfriend’s wishes. Unimpressed, his girlfriend has laid down an ultimatum: either his daughter moves out, or she will. Now the guy has turned to an online community to ask if letting his daughter stay would be a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
Blood is thicker than water, and this dad is determined to prove the point
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After his daughter announced her surprise pregnancy, his ex-wife kicked her out, so he agreed to let her move back home for as long as she needed
Image credits: vovatol / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His live-in girlfriend, however, was unimpressed with this development and threatened to move out unless he sent his daughter packing
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unperturbed, he let his irate girlfriend know that his daughter is family and he’ll be offering her all the support she needs
Image credits: crampingMY_style
Now the tension in the household could be cut with a knife, prompting the dad to ask an online community if giving his struggling daughter a place to stay makes him a jerk
OP thought life was finally balancing out: steady job, a house, a loving girlfriend, and a strong bond with his daughter Maddy. Divorced years earlier, he always made time for her, and now 18, she was independent, smart, and planning college. However, one conversation turned everything upside down when Maddy revealed she was pregnant.
Maddy’s mom kicked her out, leaving OP’s home as her only safe place. Despite the shock, he promised full support, at least within reason. He’d help with childcare if she worked or studied, but partying was off-limits. Maddy impressed him by returning with a budget, a plan, and determination. OP immediately planned on turning his unused treadmill room into a nursery in anticipation of his grandkid’s arrival.
OP’s girlfriend, Vera, had always gotten along with Maddy, until this new development, that is. Though supportive at first, she gave OP an ultimatum after realizing the baby would live with them. She insisted he pull the offer he’d made to his daughter, or she’d move out, telling him she never signed up to raise someone else’s kid. When OP refused to abandon Maddy, though, she hit the roof.
Now, OP says you could cut the tension at home with a knife. Vera avoids them or gets snippy, while OP feels torn but resolute; he simply will not throw his daughter out in her hour of need. After all, Maddy is his blood, and her future matters more than anything to him. Still, he turned to netizens to ask if letting her move back home was a jerk move.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
There’s plenty of drama going on in OP’s story. Essentially, he’s being forced to choose between being a parent and being a partner. How could he and Vera work things out, considering his decision that Maddy’s going nowhere? We went looking for answers.
The first thing to note is that Maddy is part of what’s called the Boomerang Generation - adult children who return home after living independently due to factors like economic pressure, life changes, or cultural shifts.
The trend became especially visible after the 2008 financial crisis and surged again during the COVID-19 pandemic, when many young adults lost their jobs or moved back home to save money. So, Maddy’s return home is par for the course these days, whether Vera likes it or not.
In his article for Psychology Today, Jeffrey Bernstein (Ph.D.) writes that fostering empathy in your partner for your adult child's struggles can be challenging, but it's possible with open communication and understanding.
Bernstein recommends leading by being an example of expressed empathy, opening up honest communication, educating your partner about the challenges your adult child is facing, establishing clear boundaries, acknowledging differences, encouraging patience, and expressing gratitude when your partner shows empathy or support for your child.
Perhaps OP and Vera can reach some sort of compromise. If they can’t, her moving out wouldn’t have to mean the end of their whole relationship; it’d just be a bit of an adjustment. Here’s hoping they can figure something out that’s win-win for everyone.
What do you think of the situation OP finds himself in? Do you think Vera has a point, or is she overreacting? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed it was a tricky situation but assured the dad that he wasn’t being a jerk by putting his pregnant daughter first
