It’s completely natural to want to live with your significant other. After you’ve been dating for a while, it only makes sense to move in. And when there’s a baby on the way in your long-term relationship, it would be bizarre not to live in the same home. If your partner keeps refusing, it might set off your inner alarm bells.
That’s the frustrating situation that one man found himself in. He turned to the internet for advice after insisting that his girlfriend move in with him now that she’s pregnant. When she refused, he decided to get to the bottom of the mystery. Scroll down for the full story, including a very painful twist in an update.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
It's going to raise some eyebrows and ring some alarm bells when people see that your long-term partner refuses to move in with you
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A man turned to the internet for help after sharing how his girlfriend refused to live with him, even after she got pregnant. Here's how his story started
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Image source: throwaway-zebra123
Most readers were on the man's side. Here's their perspective on the bizarre situation
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You and your partner need to be on the same page about what you want from the relationship. If they want an open relationship but don't inform you, they're effectively cheating
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It’s common sense, but if you want to have an open relationship with your partner, you need to loop them in. You both need to be on the same page. Your significant other needs to be comfortable with you seeing other people. And you both need to create some ground rules.
Meanwhile, if the fact that you’re going on dates with other people is news to them, then you’re not actually in an open relationship. You’re cheating, as simple as that. While you’re having fun being with multiple partners, they’re at home thinking that you’re exclusive. It’s heart-wrenching. It’s unfair. And nobody deserves to be in a situation like this.
When there’s a baby on the way, things get even messier. And if your cheating partner tries to guilt-trip you for not supporting them enough in their lifestyle, it’s probably clear as crystal that you need to move on with your life.
According to ‘The Intimacy Doc,’ consensual non-monogamous (aka open) relationships aren’t like affairs because the former are transparent while the latter are secret.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Catalina Lawsin explains that for open relationships to work, you and your partner need to negotiate your intimacy boundaries. The goal is to get incredibly specific about what can and can’t happen before you open up the relationship.
Physicality aside, you’ll also need to define your emotional boundaries, ensure that you’re safe when you’re intimate, and be honest about everything that you do. In these kinds of relationships, it’s vital that you’re transparent so that you and your partner are both on the same page and avoid making assumptions.
Meanwhile, Dr. Lawsin stresses that it’s important that you don’t forget about your actual relationship either. “Schedule time and space to nurture the relationship and make sure to maintain this. Date nights, trips away and expressing love need to be prioritized to maintain the relationship foundation,” she states.
There are lots of different reasons why someone might be unfaithful to their significant other. However, this doesn't excuse infidelity
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While everyone’s situation is unique, there are a number of common reasons why people cheat on their long-term romantic partners. Broadly speaking, the individual who gets entangled in the affair may have some unmet needs or they simply have the opportunity for infidelity.
Verywell Mind explains that some of the main factors behind cheating include things like:
- Unhappiness or dissatisfaction with your emotional or intimate life
- Feeling unappreciated at home
- Lacking commitment to your partner
- Having issues with your body or age
- Wanting to get revenge on your partner
- Boredom and the need for excitement
In the meantime, some secondary reasons for cheating include things like having easy access to the internet (this facilitates emotional or physical affairs), the opportunity to be unfaithful, and having poor boundaries.
“Periods of absence, whether traveling for work or serving in the military provide greater opportunities for affairs to occur. Absence allows a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being discovered or may lead to loneliness and resentment,” Verywell Mind explains.
What are your thoughts about the entire situation? How would you have handled things if you were in the man’s shoes?
How would you react if your significant other refused to live with you, even though you’d been together for years and years? From your perspective, how soon should couples move in together, and how can they tell if they’re ready? Let us know in the comments below.
The man decided to get to the bottom of the mystery behind his girlfriend's actions, and it led to a lot of heartbreak. Here is the update to his story
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Here's how the internet reacted to the update. Most people were very empathetic
