Having a baby can be one of the biggest joys in life – after all, you’re bringing a new person into the world. However, it can also be quite stressful and anxiety-inducing. It’s certainly daunting to think you’ll soon be responsible for raising a whole human being, so it’s no surprise this period can put pressure on both parents.
One guy found himself in an interesting predicament because of his wife’s anxieties. He asked the internet if he was wrong to clean the house and vacuum near his pregnant wife because, according to her, it might disturb and stress the unborn baby. The husband also shared some details that make the story more complex.
Being pregnant comes with lots of anxieties, sometimes they might be grounded, sometimes irrational
Image credits: Unai82 (not the actual photo)
A pregnant wife got mad at her husband for vacuuming around her, saying it's disturbing her and the baby
The husband also explained that the pregnancy was not high-risk and no special precautions were needed, as said by their doctors
Image credits: boomeart (not the actual photo)
Image credits: [deleted]
Spouses can spot common signs of anxiety and obsessive behavior in their pregnant partners if they’re sufficiently informed
It’s natural for pregnant women to feel anxiety, especially if they’re pregnant with their first baby. It becomes more troublesome when that anxiety starts veering more towards obsession. Sophie Harris, the pregnancy and postpartum therapist behind Looking After Mum says there are some ways that spouses can identify whether the way their pregnant partner is acting can be worrisome.
“Common signs of obsessive behavior include lots of reassurance seeking from partners, family, friends, or medical professionals,” Sophie explains. “Also internet searching and often becoming anxious about what they find, doubting themselves or their partners, worried that they may have unintentionally caused harm to the baby.”
Sometimes, pregnant women also may worry about things that feel insignificant to others. If they’re feeling an inflated sense of risk of something bad happening to the baby, that can also be a sign of excessive worry. “This may also look like the need to control others, due to their anxiety,” Sophie adds.
The fears and worries may stem from the approaching responsibility. “For many pregnant women, it can feel really overwhelming to be responsible for another human being,” Sophie points out. “They worry that they may do something to bring harm to the baby and attempt to exercise control over others around them, as their perception of risk is increased.”
It’s important to talk to your spouse about any overwhelming anxieties about the baby on the way, and about how both parties in the relationship are feeling
Approaching this topic with your pregnant partner can be tricky. Sophie says it’s important to let them know they’re supported, but be cautious of facilitating anxious behavior.
“I often find that my therapy clients listen to me a lot more than they would to their partner, so if possible accessing outside support can be helpful,” she advises. “Be supportive towards your partner and patient, and show you understand why they are anxious.”
“I often find that my therapy clients listen to me a lot more than they would to their partner, so if possible accessing outside support can be helpful,” she advises. “Be supportive towards your partner and patient, and show you understand why they are anxious.”
If you opt not to seek outside support, there are ways to support your pregnant partner throughout the duration of their pregnancy. “Be an active participant in the pregnancy, and show that you are both 'in it together',” the pregnancy therapist encourages.
The most crucial element is to know that these conversations have to be a two-way-street. “Create a supportive space where it is safe for your partner to communicate their anxieties. Talk about your future together, and try to allow your partner to feel understood,” Sophie advises.
The internet decided that OP is NTA and urged him to talk to his wife about prepartum depression and anxiety
