Let’s be real: parenting is hard enough without being judged by people who don’t know your full story. The last thing you need is to be criticized, especially if you’re barely managing to keep your head above water.
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One woman turned to an online community to vent about how the other moms at her kid’s pre-school kept making nasty remarks about her not dropping her kid off. She eventually snapped at one of them, but now she’s wondering if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
Parenting is enough of a challenge without other people judging you for how you’re doing it
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman, who was working grueling hours, couldn’t manage to drop her kid off at pre-school, so her husband did it
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When her work finally eased up, the woman started dropping her kid off, but she wasn’t prepared for the criticism the other moms leveled at her
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Judging her for everything from being a bad mom to the state of her marriage, the other moms kept at it for weeks
Image credits: anonymous
Finally, the woman snapped and let one of the judgy moms have it, but now she’s turned to an online community to ask if clapping back was a jerk move
When the original poster (OP) finally got a break from her brutal schedule, she hoped preschool drop-offs would be a chance to bond with her daughter and maybe connect with other parents. Instead, she walked straight into a judgment fest. The other moms had already decided she was an absent parent and a bad mom.
Once her hours eased and she started doing drop-offs, she quickly realized the playground politics were real. The moms formed a tight clique, and every conversation turned into something sharp. They quipped about her “sudden appearance,” her marriage, and her priorities, all while acting sugary sweet around her husband.
Weeks of jabs built up until one morning, after another backhanded comment, OP finally snapped. With the kids safely inside, she told the ringleader exactly what she thought: that she’d been working nonstop to support her family, and maybe they should examine their own hollow happiness instead of tearing down a stranger.
The aftermath? The moms backed off, but now they won’t let their kids play with her daughter outside preschool. She hates that her kid is caught in the crossfire and wonders if she owes an apology (even though the behavior she called out was totally toxic) but her husband says their kid’s better off without being exposed to nasty moms.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
OP’s story highlights how working moms get judged, even by women who should know better. So, what’s the deal with mom cliques, or “mommy mafias”, anyway? We went looking for answers.
Writing for HealthyWay, Mary Sauer explains that it’s natural to gravitate towards other people who share your common interests. Licensed clinical social worker, Kimberly Hershenson, says, “Mom cliques are a way for women to feel united in their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs,”
However, some groups do form on a foundation of exclusion. "It all comes back to insecurity," says Nicole Zangara, author of Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Those insecurities create competition between moms who make different choices about how they parent.
In her article for Calgary’s Child, Christa Melnyk Hines writes that breaking into new groups is rarely easy. Dr. Fran Walfish, a family psychotherapist, has seen her share of cliquey behavior. “I’m not at all surprised that a group of kids would clique out a third-grade girl. But it’s stunning that moms would get involved in the cliques,” she says.
Here’s hoping OP can find some moms (probably also working) who aren’t in the habit of mom-shaming and gossiping because, let’s be honest, being a busy mom is hard enough, right?
What do you think? Should OP try to make peace with the mom for the sake of her kid, or did the malicious “mean girl” get exactly what she deserved? Share your thoughts in the comments!
