"The Family Was So Upset It Was Ruining Their Plans": Chef Shares The Story Of How She Quit Working For Ridiculous Family

Being rich enough to be able to afford the services of a private chef sounds like a dream come true for many folks, but how many of us consider just how tough catering to others’ every whim really is? As it turns out, it’s more exhausting than glamorous, and your clients can forget that you have basic human needs, just like they do.

Popular baking educator Kristin Hoffman, who’s widely known by her internet alias Baker Bettie, spilled the tea about what finally made her quit her private chef job five years ago. Her candid video clip was viewed by over 846k people and counting, and started a discussion about being overworked and undervalued. Bored Panda reached out to Hoffman and she was kind enough to answer our questions. Read on for our full interview with Baker Bettie, including what it's like to work as a private chef, what to keep in mind if you want to go into business for yourself, and what keeps her passionate about teaching others to bake.

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"There are a couple of things that happened that made me realize I really needed to leave my private chef job.
But the last trip that I went on with the family was a huge breaking point.
The day we were set to leave, I had to get up super early and make three meals for my client and put it in thermoses, so that they had enough food to last with the travel day. This was the only time we could pre-make food."

"Then I had to get all of the food and equipment and all of the cars packed up for us to head back to the airport, I think I got up at like 4am.
While I was packing up the cars, one of the other members of the family went out and got breakfast sandwiches for the rest of the family to eat in the car on the way to the airport. But they didn't get me anything."

"Now when I was traveling with them, I had to eat every meal out because I could not bring any food into the facility I was cooking in that they did not have on their approved food list.
I also couldn't keep snacks with me because they were so worried about cross contamination even though other members of the family could keep snacks with them and eat them around them.
I also couldn't eat any of my clients food because their food was too precious for me.
The drive to the airport was like an hour and a half long. And by the time we got there, I was irrationally hungry.
There was also no food at the airport because we were flying private. Those little airports don't have restaurants in them for you to grab food.
I finally just broke down and was like "I need to eat something", and essentially made my boss give me something out of their bag that they approved for me to eat.
They basically acted like they were shocked that they didn't realize I hadn't eaten anything, even though what place would be open at 4am for me to get food in this remote location that we were in."

"And also they had seen me doing all of this work and packing up, I don't know when they thought I would have eaten.
It was like we were not human to them. It was like they forgot that we also had basic human needs like they did, like nourishing ourselves was also a need of ours."

"While we were on the flight heading home, we got word from the staff on the airplane, that the landing gear did not fully come up after takeoff and that it was stuck in a partially down, partially up position. And they couldn't get it down, and they couldn't get it up.
They let us know that we were going to have to head back to the airport that we came from because it was the closest airport and do an emergency landing. And they told us this in a very serious way. And also let us know that there was a possibility that we could crash during this emergency landing.
I was honestly terrified at this point. But the family was just angry and trying to convince the staff to head on to Chicago even though they continually were telling them that that was not protocol and it was not safe for us to do so.
The family was so upset that it was ruining their plans and extending the length of the trip.
You could tell that this was already a really stressful situation for the staff of the airplane. And it was just exacerbated by the family being absolutely awful and rude to them by them doing their jobs.
There was just absolutely no regard for anyone else around them and their needs. Everything was just completely focused on their own wants and needs. And after this trip I was basically done."

We were interested to hear Hoffman's thoughts as to why some clients might lack empathy for the people they hire. According to her, some of them may not see their staff as human. What's more, a lack of experience in service jobs might give them a warped perspective.

"I have wondered frequently about where the disconnect is with my previous employers not considering that their staff had basic needs. I always try to think the best of people but to be completely honest, it really came down to them seeing their staff as less than themselves," she told Bored Panda via email.

"It's very hard to describe, but there is a sense that they don't see their staff as fully human. You can always sort of sense it. Their own needs always came first, even at the expense of their employees getting their own basic needs, like rest and nourishment, met. I have a feeling a lot of it could be a lack of perspective in them never having worked a service-based job before. I think many ultra-wealthy people are very used to being served and have never had to serve others."

She suggests that if you're thinking of taking a position as a private chef, you should have "a very clear contract laid out with firm expectations in order to protect yourself." What's more, Hoffman recommends doing a work trial with the family for a few days before officially accepting the position. "Interviewing for a job is just as much you interviewing them as it is them interviewing you."

According to Hoffman, unfortunately, it's very common in the food industry, across the board, to work early mornings, late nights, and long hours, and not take breaks.

"I've worked in many restaurants before I was a private chef and these kinds of working conditions are completely normalized. It is so common to work for a 12-hour shift and never sit down, never eat anything, and barely get a chance to use the restroom. I do think there are definitely private chefs that are treated better than this and get a chance to take a break. But unfortunately, it is very normalized to work in these conditions—and it's definitely taboo to complain about it in the chef world."

Having experienced all of this first-hand, Hoffman decided to do things very differently herself. "I now own a brick and mortar recreational baking school in Chicago and it is so important to me that I do not treat my employees this way. I work really hard to make sure they are not being overworked and that they have a good work/life balance. Their well-being comes first."

Meanwhile, we were also curious what advice she would give someone who might want to go into business for themselves but is too scared to make the leap and quit their day job. Hoffman suggests doing things step by step.

"Owning your own business can be extremely scary but also incredibly rewarding. Going out on your own gives you the opportunity to build your work exactly the way you want it. Take it slow and build it gradually. And make sure you do not exploit your own labor the way your job did," she said.

"One of the best parts of going out on your own is it gives you the incredible opportunity to provide good jobs for other people someday! When I left my private chef job, I thought my biggest goal was to make a lot of money for myself. But I now employ 8 people between my baking website, BakerBettie.com, and my baking school, Bettie's Chicago. And being able to provide good jobs for people in the food industry without exploiting their labor is far more rewarding than just making a lot of money for me."

Hoffman opened up to Bored Panda that at the core of everything that she does lies the fact that she truly loves to teach.

"Nothing brings me more joy than helping someone become a confident baker. Baking has brought me through some really dark times," she said.

"When I left my private chef job, I had been so overworked that I was in a really scary place with my mental health. Working with my hands and creating beautiful and delicious food really helped with my healing and brought me so much joy. I love helping other people find the same joy in the kitchen," she revealed.

In her viral video, trained chef and baking educator Hoffman went into detail about just how horrible a trip with her former clients was. She was utterly exhausted, “irrationally hungry,” and experienced how entitled they were when the plane had to make an emergency landing.

After this experience, the former private chef didn’t move on to work for another family or even another restaurant. She shared in another video that decided to bet on herself and pursue her own business, something she was already doing on the side. And that was a brilliant move. Now, Hoffman is the proud owner of the incredibly successful Baker Bettie brand.

Hoffman has been blogging as her alter-ego Baker Bettie all the way since 2011. She quit her full-time job to pursue the project full-time in 2018.

She is incredibly successful on social media. The Baker Bettie channel has 387.1k followers on TikTok, 172k fans on Facebook, and is followed by 38.4k people over on Instagram. Hoffman has also published the critically acclaimed book, ‘Baker Bettie’s Cookbook.’ What’s more, the businesswoman opened up a brick-and-mortar 1950s diner-themed baking school in downtown Chicago.

Hoffman recently told CKBK that the Baker Bettie persona was originally born out of her shyness. At the time, she wasn’t sure if she wanted people to know her true identity. “ I have always had an affinity for the 1950s, so I came up with Baker Bettie because I thought it was catchy while conveying a vintage vibe,” she said.

“I like to think that Bettie brings a sense of nostalgia to my content and makes it feel more approachable. Many people have memories of their grandmothers making cookie dough in her Pyrex bowl and they have a sense of connection to me when they see me doing the same,” the baking educator told CKBK.

Hoffman’s story shows that it’s possible to burn out even in ‘prestigious’ professions like working as a well-off family’s private chef. We’re all human after all, and no matter how tough we might be, if we don’t meet our basic needs (food, water, sleep, etc.), we’re going break down—sooner or later.

Realizing that one’s client or employer may not have your best intentions at heart can make anyone reconsider their line of work. At the end of the day, going into business for yourself can give you the freedom you crave… but it also comes with its own fair share of risks.

Becoming an entrepreneur and going all-in on your side hustle is the right answer for some people. For others, however, changing jobs or even learning new skills and switching industries can be the right approach. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer because everyone’s situation—in terms of finances, supporting family members, and ambitions—is different.

A recent workplace survey conducted by Deloitte in the United States found that 77% of respondents have experienced employee burnout at their current jobs. It’s even more jaw-dropping that over half have said that this has happened multiple times.

We’ve recently covered on Bored Panda how someone can tell that they’re close to being burned out at their current position. The most straightforward signs are that you dread going to work, you’re stressed and frustrated, and your productivity is nose-diving even though you might be working hard.

Meanwhile, employees close to burnout might also daydream about working at another company, and deal with chronic fatigue and low energy. Many people want to feel like their jobs are meaningful and challenging, so purpose (or the lack of it!) plays a very large role in job satisfaction and motivation.

Employers can also support their staff by giving them fair wages and timely raises, providing support and room for professional growth, recognizing everyone’s achievements, and responding to serious concerns in the workplace. Otherwise, they might mind their employees moving on to greener pastures and (hopefully) creating successful businesses of their own.