Hello again to all the Pandas out there! Matty reporting live yet again with a new collection of completely Unnecessary Inventions that I have cooked up in the unnecessary lab. I know none of you were asking for any of these products to come to life but I just had to do it!
From a new smartphone to a more discreet way to eat hot dogs, all of these inventions solve problems that you truly don't actually have. I know you may find them useful from time to time but I can assure you that they are completely unnecessary. See all of my inventions at Unnecessary Inventions.
It is very imperative that you immediately go follow me on Instagram and YouTube to stay up to date with each invention as it’s created! You can check out my account on Bored Panda to see all of the Unnecessary Inventions I’ve created! You can check out my previous invention posts on Bored Panda here: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14.
Comment down below with your idea for my next Unnecessary Invention that I should create!
The Glizzy Gripper™️
Enjoy your hot dogs privately in public. We all know that feeling of looking over our shoulder before diving into a fresh hot dog. With our newest invention, seamlessly enjoy your wiener while the privacy screen blocks the view as it enters your mouth. Who is ready for seconds?!
This is EXACTLY how the Glizzy Gripper is meant to work!
The Megaphone Mask™️
Be heard while staying safe! While wearing a mask is necessary, it can be a struggle at times to catch every spoken word. Our newest mask sports an integrated megaphone to project your conversation for everyone within earshot. Can you hear me now?
Cone Cream Catcher™️
Welcome to the future of ice cream eating!
We all know ice cream melts way too fast. Our newest ice cream cone holder collects all of your melted ice cream and features a pop-out nozzle so you can drink that cream later! Never cream your jeans ever.
The Not Today Mirror™️
Feeling ugly, close the curtain. Bad hair day, close the curtain. Our new mirror features five curtain zones to pick and choose what you see in the mirror. We all have those days where we just don’t want to look in the mirror, but now, you can simply hide that part of your body and move on!
The Mixer Mask™️
The safest way to enjoy a cold one this holiday weekend. Strap into this protective mask featuring a 16oz pouch for your favorite beverage. Use the included funnel to fill it up, screw on the replaceable tip, and enjoy your drink while staying protected!
The Not Hot Blanket™️
When only that one leg just needs a breather. We all overheat at night and sometimes there can be no solution in sight! Our newest blanket comes equipped with a tear-away section to reveal the perfect hole to let a single leg escape the covers. Now if only I could get back to sleep after all that moving around!
The Coro-neck™️
Wear it up for your face or down for your chest. In those emergency cases where you forget your mask, this fashionable shirt features a face covering that quickly flips up to also reveal the perfect deep V-neck. Great for any guy or girl to look sexy while staying safe!
The MowTender™️
Mow your lawn and get a fresh beer delivered. Introducing our newest technology that combines the ease of an automated robotic lawnmower and the convenience of a bartender. Enjoy your Sunday chores on a whole new level with the most productive beer delivery system ever.
If you ever wanted to know how my inventions come to life, watch the behind-the-scenes videos!
Grocery Cart Hoodie™️
You are now the shopping cart! This revolutionary hoodie is outfitted with a secret expandable mesh compartment. Simply buckle it to your shoulders so you can become the perfect hands-free shopping bag. It’s a whole new meaning to the Bag Boy.
The Vague Ruler™️
Oh… it’s about the length of a beer bottle. Sometimes you don’t need to know the exact measurement of something, just close enough. With our new ruler, gauge the size of just about anything in relation to the everyday object you already roughly know the size of. Ok, so maybe it’s more 1/2 way between a soda can and an iPhone….
Flush-n-Close™️
Never leave the seat up again! With our newest toilet innovation, this chained flotation device simply suspends within the bowl until you flush your business. The perfect tension of the flush pulls your toilet seat to ensure it safety closes as you leave the bathroom. Now, who didn’t replace the empty toilet paper roll?
Shoe-brella™️
Literally stand under your umbrella. We all have that one pair of shoes we simply can’t get wet. With our latest debut, buckle into extra protection with this miniature umbrella for your precious kicks. Ain’t no one gonna be able to rain on your parade.
iSleeper™️
Your phone works just as hard as you do—it deserves a good night's charge. This modern miniature bed features a luxurious cloud-like mattress with an integrated wireless charger. Keep your phone tight and snug under the plush comforter all night long and wake up literally feeling 100%.
The Commuter Cup Carrier™️
A place for your coffee on your daily commute. When the bus or subway is running late, whip out this ultra-sleek cup holder that unfolds and securely attaches to your shoe. Slide it on and drop your cup while you patiently wait to go where you’re headed. Now hopefully my boss doesn’t mind I’m 2 hours late.
The Snack Saucer™️
Enjoy your snacks no matter how far you and your friends are! Our latest invention allows you to share snacks anywhere with this revolutionary frisbee with an integrated bowl. Simply fill the bowl to the brim with your snacks and let it soar through the air to your socially distant BFFs. Just be sure they know how to catch it 100% of the time.
MotorBlades™️
No AC, no problem. If your car is feeling a bit warm this summer, strap on our newest ceiling fan designed specifically for your four-wheeled transportation device. Stay cool & keep the air moving within your car while you make your way to your destination. Take that, heat index!
Farmer-B-Gone™️
Even out those summer T-shirt tan lines once and for all. Our newest fashion innovation features a 100% UV blocking fabric to help you fade that pesky farmer's tan. Simply lose your shirt and gently slide on these fashionable on-the-go sleeves while you soak up the sunshine. Now who is going to lotion up my back for me?!
iPhone 12 “L”™️
Two times the smartphone in one design. Introducing a revolutionary phone design that turns everything on its side. This L-shaped smartphone combines the power of two phones into one extremely awkward design. It’s time to take a W and get the L.
Paint-ercise Rollers™️
Turn painting into a full-body workout. Strap on these ergonomic paint rollers that fit comfortably within your palms. Stretch up and across while getting down low to complete your painting chore. Become your inner Picasso & Schwarzenegger at the same time.
Bedtime Finger Blaster™️
Never get out of your bed to turn the lights off again. This new amazingly handy blaster fires off a life-size finger across any room to swiftly turn out the lights when it’s time to hit the sack. Load the finger cartridge into the shooter, pull the trigger, and call it a night. Now go ask your mom if we can have a sleepover already!
Scooter Platter™️
Eat your breakfast on your scooter commute! Multitask on your way to work with our newest electric scooter expansion tray. Simply load up your morning meal on the elevated plate & finish your entire meal upon arrival at work. Pro tip: avoid bumpy roads!
Zoom-Jamas™️
FingerStick Kit™️
The newest addition to your everyday hygiene. Our new discrete and compact device features a hidden lifelike finger within to ensure you never touch anything ever again. Simply slide the cap off and the full-size, spring-loaded finger extends outward to soak up all the germs on any surface. Now are those my germs or your germs?
The Candle Cannon™️
Vote From Home Booth™️
Get the full voting experience without leaving your house. Our newest invention allows you to complete your mail-in ballot this election cycle in full privacy. This pop-up voting booth fits anywhere you’ll be voting within your residence and includes an American flag, commemorative pencil (always use a pen on the ballot), and two pencil sharpeners.
Pogo Stick Crutches™️
A broken leg doesn’t need to be boring. With our newest invention, get a little bit of air time on your downtime. These crutches have integrated high-powered springs to put a little pep in your broken step. You’ll bounce back in no time.
Social Scrolling Case™️
Non-stop, hands-free scrolling for all your social apps. Our newest smartphone case is equipped with a patented automatic scrolling mechanism that is calibrated to all of your networks. Each mode adjusts to the perfect scrolling speeds. Say goodbye to cramped thumbs.
The Fidget Backpack™️
WAP Chocolate Bars™️
With a secret wet and gushy center! Crunch into your favorite summer song with these Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion WAP chocolate bars. Including the dangly thing that swings in the back of your throat & the big Mack truck parking in a little garage, each bar oozes with our signature secret sauce inside for ultimate food pleasure.
Shower Curtain Towel™️
Never forget a towel ever again! Your shower curtain is now also your towel with our new invention. Simply dry off and let it hang to air dry until the next time you shower! There is nothing like the good smell of a damp towel in the bathroom.