“Never Doing That Again”: 49 People Share How Their Spouse’s Job Tore Their Relationship Apart

If there’s one commonality among these jobs, it’s the need to be on the go all the time, whether it’s working in the field or being on another continent. In Australia, fly-in, fly-out jobs in the mining and gas industries are a popular example. 

But as Crisp Consulting résumé writer Andrew Martin points out, the reality outweighs its seemingly glamorous reputation.

Martin says apart from being away for weeks at a time, the spouses of these employees are also forced to shoulder the household and family workload. Eventually, it becomes a breaking point, on top of other internal issues. 

“Workers feel isolated and struggle with loneliness, leading to mental health issues, and they blow out a lot of their money when they finally get off work,” Martin told Bored Panda.

Emergency medical services workers, such as paramedics, are another profession you may see mentioned frequently on this list. However, the posters didn’t give specific reasons. 

Lawyer Mike Kruse provided insight into why this is, noting that 12-hour shifts can last up to 16 months and be grueling for family members. Then, there’s the need to leave or cancel family events to report for work. 

“A partner waiting at home suffers from late comings, mood swings, and distance from family life, which is often driven by the suspicion of infidelity or secret relationships,” Kruse said, adding that the “cycle of mistrust” turns into a “trigger point” for worse outcomes like domestic violence. 

Kruse further points out that the job itself can be a “pressure cooker” that spills over into the home. Given how paramedics are at the front row seats of the most gruesome sights, their bodies are unable to “turn off” at the end of the shift. They then become irritable and unpleasant to be around, which affects their partners. 

“Friends and family often misinterpret those responses as malicious intent or infidelity, which escalates minor arguments to out-of-control debates,” Kruse stated, adding that financial stress from unpredictable overtime and the binge-drinking culture may further exacerbate the problem.

As Kruse mentioned, the darker side of being a first responder is often overshadowed by the “uniform and the consistent paycheck.” 

“Families desire stability, but they are confronted with trauma exposure, irregular hours, mistrust, and emotional distance. That combination slowly destroys the marriage until it explodes in police intervention and court actions.”