People Are Posting “The One Question” Someone Asked That Broke Them (30 Answers)

Communication is a form of art, and knowing what to say and ask at the right time is crucial in nailing it. So in order to find out the psychology behind heartbreaking questions, Bored Panda reached out to Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Minds” who specializes in supporting parents, teachers, and children navigating through mental health issues and prevention.

“It is always a good idea to think carefully before asking a question,” Lynn warned and continued: “There are so many variables to consider such as, is my question too personal? Do I know the person well enough to ask this question? Should I ask this question in private rather than in front of others? Do I really need to know the answer?”

Moreover, according to Lynn How, some questions can easily be taken to be offensive or out of context, even if no offense was meant. “Sometimes well-meaning people can ask something and be surprised by the blunt response! Sometimes we answer the question politely but are secretly dying inside due to sadness or embarrassment.”

Even though it is sometimes difficult to distinguish what would offend one person and not another, Lynn suggests giving it a quick forethought is a way to go about it.

On the other hand, there are many questions that are better left untouched. “There are a myriad of untouchable subjects that I've gleaned from various life experiences,” Lynn recounted and added that “I am certainly much better at question filtering than I was in my 20s. For example, having gone through fertility treatment, I would never ask someone why they were not pregnant yet because I know firsthand how upsetting it is.”

Lynn said that other taboo subjects include weight, relationships, salary, and age. “Of course, when it's your best friend, you can ask more deep and meaningful questions in comparison to someone you have just met,” she added.

It’s important to understand that words can easily become weapons when they are not said by someone with good intentions, argues Lynn. “I would consider that these stem from a person's own insecurities and issues if they feel they need to use their words to make another person feel bad.”

“Personally, I have no time for these people and have in the past explained that I felt that their question was inappropriate (I have also considered in these instances if I am just being over-sensitive!). If someone is a repeat offender, they don't stay in my life very long!”

Unfortunately, things are more difficult if the person is a member of your family. “A simple 'should you be eating that?' can be enough to raise a person's blood pressure! In which case I would suggest a polite but firm explanation as to why you find their questioning offensive,” Lynn concluded.