Woman Explains Why She Would Never Want To Be A Mother And It Makes Sense

Family gatherings can be exhausting for many reasons, and prodding, invasive questions from distant relatives is certainly one of them. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, nothing can protect you from “when are you getting married?” and “when are you having children?” And if you don’t want to embarrassingly stammer searching for an appropriate answer, you better have a comeback prepared.

A 25-year-old TikToker bippityboppitybree has a wonderful rebuttal ready for those asking about her having children. In fact, she’s eager to tell everyone about it. According to her, her answer does take everyone by surprise, but, eventually, people understand. Scroll down below to see if you get it too and whether you agree with the sentiment.

Her argument, of course, is clear. Being a mother is so much harder than being a dad. It involves more time and effort and is more demanding physically and emotionally.

This is not just anecdotal evidence, too. Science backs it up with facts. Such as this study that concluded that mothers feel more stress, less happiness, and greater fatigue than fathers do. Then there’s also the paper that summed it all up with “parenthood crystallizes a gendered division of labor, largely by reshaping wives', not husbands', routine.” And let’s not forget about the one that states that “mothering involves not only more overall time commitment but more multitasking, more physical labor, a more rigid timetable, more time alone with children, and more overall responsibility for managing care.” Seems pretty obvious which of the two options would be favored by many.

That is why there’s no surprise that many in the comment section agreed with the TikToker’s opinion. Typically, taking on the role of a mother is a big responsibility. And while dads also participate in childrearing, the demands for them are simply not as high.

Jancee Dunn, the author of “How not to hate your husband after kids,” wrote the book when she noticed this disparity in motherly and fatherly duties in her own life. In it, she describes the frustrating situation many women find themselves in after becoming mothers.

Firstly, mothers tend to handle the more involved child care aspects such as feeding, changing diapers, and nighttime routines. In the meantime, the dads fall into the role of the “fun parent” who plays with children and takes them out to have fun, all while mom cleans up the house and prepares dinner.

Mothers also take on a lot of different kinds of invisible labor. One is “kin work” that’s basically remembering everyone’s birthdays, buying presents, sending cards, and handling holidays. Then, there’s also “emotional work” that’s about checking in with everybody and knowing how everyone’s doing and feeling. “Consumption labor” is also mostly taken on by women, which is researching and buying clothes, shoes, high chairs, and potties. On top of it all, the mother is usually also the household manager who makes doctor’s appointments, sets up playdates, knows everyone’s likes and dislikes, and keep everyone’s schedules. And all of these aren’t even the main motherhood “activities.”

When you also consider household chores such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry, most of which often fall on the mother, you really see the point that the TikToker was making in her video.