True crime podcasts, shows, and stories are incredibly popular because they give you a glimpse into the darkest, most spine-chilling parts of humanity. One upside is that they can also help protect you from some of the same threats that others have fallen victim to. It is incredibly uncomfortable, but potentially life-saving, to recognize criminal behavior patterns in the people around you—including your loved ones.
#1
It’s not exactly true crime, but my interest in it ties back to my mom’s story. She lost three of her brothers during the civil war in Somalia—one of them is still presumed d**d because his body was never found. This was all before she got married and had kids. Growing up, she was so paranoid every time we left the house. She’d call or text us constantly, and honestly, I found it really annoying. I’d get frustrated and sometimes even be rude to her.
But when I started learning about true crime, I also started to understand trauma. It hit me that my mom never really had the chance to deal with hers. Her paranoia started to make sense—one of her brothers literally left home one day and never came back. She still does this sometimes, but I think my interest in true crime has helped me understand her better and be more patient with her.
But when I started learning about true crime, I also started to understand trauma. It hit me that my mom never really had the chance to deal with hers. Her paranoia started to make sense—one of her brothers literally left home one day and never came back. She still does this sometimes, but I think my interest in true crime has helped me understand her better and be more patient with her.
62points
Learning to recognize potentially dangerous behavior can help protect your health and life, as well as those of the people around you. Some warning signs will be incredibly overt and in-your-face, while others can be subtle and hard to catch.
According to Stanford University, concerning behaviors can take many different forms, including in group interactions, one-on-one settings, public behavior, blogs, on social media, in emails, during phone calls, in text messages, and in photos.
For example, some major warning signs include:
- Threatening communications
- Expressing the intent to harm someone
- Violent fantasies
- Sending disturbing messages
- Alarming coursework content
- Making statements that promote violent problem-solving
#2
Some years ago, a few friends and I were out drinking one night at various bars/clubs. A young woman about our age, maybe a few years younger, started walking right beside us as we were walking from Bar A to Bar B. She wasn’t saying anything. It became obvious something was wrong. She only said her name. I asked how much she had to drink and she didn’t know/couldn’t answer. I asked if she was on something and she couldn’t answer. I asked where her friends were, she couldn’t answer.
I finally grabbed her, took her to the bathroom, and got her phone. She was coherent enough to give me the password. I pulled up her recent texts and found a thread with her friends she’d been out with that night. Their texts were saying “Hannah where are you?” I called one of them and said “Hannah is at ___, you need to come get her immediately.” I stayed with her until her friend arrived.
I thought and still think that Hannah was d*****d that night. I was texting with the friend who picked up Hannah for the next 24ish hours.
Thankfully, Hannah was okay. It sends a shiver down my spine at the thought that she might not have been, though.
I finally grabbed her, took her to the bathroom, and got her phone. She was coherent enough to give me the password. I pulled up her recent texts and found a thread with her friends she’d been out with that night. Their texts were saying “Hannah where are you?” I called one of them and said “Hannah is at ___, you need to come get her immediately.” I stayed with her until her friend arrived.
I thought and still think that Hannah was d*****d that night. I was texting with the friend who picked up Hannah for the next 24ish hours.
Thankfully, Hannah was okay. It sends a shiver down my spine at the thought that she might not have been, though.
55points
#3
I have realized that my BIL is scary AF and reminds me of a family annihilator the way he refers to his family like property and has a stockpile of weapons to "protect" them. He has slowly become more antisocial over the years and now won't even make eye contact or speak directly to anyone who isn't his wife, children, or parents. He has always had giant dogs and refuses to socialize them because he "doesn't want them to be nice to strangers". He also has cameras all over the house and doesn't tell anyone. He is a former paramedic and friends with lots of law enforcement types.
I worry that my sister couldn't leave him even if she wanted to. I know he sees my family as meddling even if we just ask them to dinner.
I worry that my sister couldn't leave him even if she wanted to. I know he sees my family as meddling even if we just ask them to dinner.
41points
Other warning signs, according to Stanford University, include major anger problems, a habit of violating campus laws and policies, disruptive behavior, irritability, social alienation, substance misuse, unexplained absenteeism, and drastic changes in behavior, whether sudden or otherwise.
Meanwhile, you should also be wary of signs such as someone holding grudges, being irrationally suspicious, holding bizarre beliefs, behaving strangely, exhibiting paranoia, radical changes in appearance and hygiene, and stalking others.
Your alarm bells should be going off if the person often takes part in conflicts with others, has been violent with their partners, and has access to weapons.
#4
When i was in college, there was a gas station across the street, off campus. for context: i’ve always stayed on top of my car maintenance, state inspections, etc. and this was maybe a week or so after i did my state inspection.
i went to the gas station around 8pm before heading home. as i’m pumping gas, a man in a safety vest comes up to me. he keeps his distance, but he points at my front wheels and says that i have a flat. i said something along the lines of “thank u for letting me know, i’ll take a look.” he tells me to walk over to him so he can show me. he was very pushy about it too. i had my phone on me and told him i texted my boyfriend who is coming from the same university across the street. he immediately rushed off. needless to say, i did not have a flat, and my car was perfectly fine
i was very confused by the interaction, and now years later i realize he was probably trying to get me distracted and do something terrible. i live in a city with one of the largest numbers of s*x trafficking so it always sends a chill down my spine remembering this.
i went to the gas station around 8pm before heading home. as i’m pumping gas, a man in a safety vest comes up to me. he keeps his distance, but he points at my front wheels and says that i have a flat. i said something along the lines of “thank u for letting me know, i’ll take a look.” he tells me to walk over to him so he can show me. he was very pushy about it too. i had my phone on me and told him i texted my boyfriend who is coming from the same university across the street. he immediately rushed off. needless to say, i did not have a flat, and my car was perfectly fine
i was very confused by the interaction, and now years later i realize he was probably trying to get me distracted and do something terrible. i live in a city with one of the largest numbers of s*x trafficking so it always sends a chill down my spine remembering this.
36points
#5
I recognized something from my history and every now and then I think about it and it freaks me out. I was 16 - 17 working in a hometown burger shop. It was nighttime - dark, close to closing and snowing out so we didn't really have any customers. There were 3 of us there - a cook (25 - 30 year old lady) and then two teenage girls.
I was fighting with my boyfriend, so I was actually on the phone with him. It was an old phone that attached to the wall and I was able to move from the front near the cash register back to the kitchen. This guy comes in with a coat on and his hood up - it was snowing and cold so no big deal to me. The other girl asked him if he wanted something and he said he wasn't sure, so she went about doing something else. He went over and pretended to look at the songs on the juke box. He keep kinda glancing my way and seemed really nervous while he was there. But I was on the phone and kept moving to the back and then back out front to see if he was ready to order - I was going to take his order while I was on the phone lol. He hung around without ordering for about 15 minutes pretending to be interested at the juke box and sneaking peeks at me out of the corner of his eye while glancing at the other girl fill the salt shakers or something. And I remember him being real fidgety with his hands in his jacket pockets. When another person's car pulled into the lot with a family in it, he turned around and left real quick.
I watch a good bit of true crime and during one of the shows it hit me - he was going to rob us (at minimum) and he was just waiting for me to to hang up the phone so I couldn't alert anyone. Scares the s**t out of me now.
I was fighting with my boyfriend, so I was actually on the phone with him. It was an old phone that attached to the wall and I was able to move from the front near the cash register back to the kitchen. This guy comes in with a coat on and his hood up - it was snowing and cold so no big deal to me. The other girl asked him if he wanted something and he said he wasn't sure, so she went about doing something else. He went over and pretended to look at the songs on the juke box. He keep kinda glancing my way and seemed really nervous while he was there. But I was on the phone and kept moving to the back and then back out front to see if he was ready to order - I was going to take his order while I was on the phone lol. He hung around without ordering for about 15 minutes pretending to be interested at the juke box and sneaking peeks at me out of the corner of his eye while glancing at the other girl fill the salt shakers or something. And I remember him being real fidgety with his hands in his jacket pockets. When another person's car pulled into the lot with a family in it, he turned around and left real quick.
I watch a good bit of true crime and during one of the shows it hit me - he was going to rob us (at minimum) and he was just waiting for me to to hang up the phone so I couldn't alert anyone. Scares the s**t out of me now.
32points
#6
I worked for a company that sold a product where we took monthly payments for long periods of time, think of a rent to own sort of situation.
I talked to this guy a few times over the course of a year or so, never met him since we were 2 different states. He always gave me a weird vibe.
One day he calls and explains he’s in ‘the hospital’ and his dad and kid can make his payments for him and to call them. So I talk to his dad, collect payment, and he basically tells me he and his grandson are afraid of him. Um, okay, weird info I didn’t ask for, but again guy gave me a vibe so I wasn’t shocked. I googled this guy and found a news article. He was in fact in a mental hospital for breaking into a building and setting a fire. His home was inspected and the cops found some disturbing things, but it didn’t lead to any additional charges or anything. I also looked at his facebook.
I explained the article I read about the incident/what they found at his home and what I saw on his facebook to my partner and said, “this guy is going to k**l someone”.
He gets off with a few years probation for the fire incident, continues making payments.
Fast forward about 4 years I don’t work for this company anymore but got to thinking about this guy for some reason, I think I had told the story to someone or something…I google him again and like 10 days prior he was arrested for m**dering 2 people.
I talked to this guy a few times over the course of a year or so, never met him since we were 2 different states. He always gave me a weird vibe.
One day he calls and explains he’s in ‘the hospital’ and his dad and kid can make his payments for him and to call them. So I talk to his dad, collect payment, and he basically tells me he and his grandson are afraid of him. Um, okay, weird info I didn’t ask for, but again guy gave me a vibe so I wasn’t shocked. I googled this guy and found a news article. He was in fact in a mental hospital for breaking into a building and setting a fire. His home was inspected and the cops found some disturbing things, but it didn’t lead to any additional charges or anything. I also looked at his facebook.
I explained the article I read about the incident/what they found at his home and what I saw on his facebook to my partner and said, “this guy is going to k**l someone”.
He gets off with a few years probation for the fire incident, continues making payments.
Fast forward about 4 years I don’t work for this company anymore but got to thinking about this guy for some reason, I think I had told the story to someone or something…I google him again and like 10 days prior he was arrested for m**dering 2 people.
28points
As reported by BetterHelp, true crime content continues to become ever more popular. Currently, around half of all Americans enjoy the true crime genre, while 13% reported that it is their favorite.
However, this is not a new phenomenon. Humanity has long been fascinated by dark and criminal stories. The fascination is ages old, but what changes is the format of the stories. New tech gives rise to new media.
Based on the findings of a recent study, 73% of true crime fans said that they consumed it out of curiosity. 46% said that they found the content entertaining, 45% enjoyed the mystery element in the stories, 33% loved the storytelling, and 32% reported that they were fascinated by the genre.
Meanwhile, just 10% admitted that they consumed true crime content for the adrenaline, and merely 7% said that they use it to prepare themselves for potential crimes.
#7
In the 90s, just after reading Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear, I went to my daily dog park with my dog and one of the women there had a new boyfriend. Instant off vibes. Just d**d eyes. He creeped me out. Really mean to anyone who asked him questions. Made weird comments. My gut would start screaming whenever he was around. He later took her hostage at her home and a SWAT team had to extract her from her home. And when she came back to the dog park, a bunch of us said we all knew it was gonna happen, some of us told you, and now you know when we are so sorry.
She was held in her home for hours. When he finally left and they tried to chase him, she said she thought she really was gonna d*e that day.
When a man does something like this, unless they are seriously mentally ill and need to be institutionalized, I don't think they should be allowed around people ever again. That's the kind of person that will never learn and never change.
She was held in her home for hours. When he finally left and they tried to chase him, she said she thought she really was gonna d*e that day.
When a man does something like this, unless they are seriously mentally ill and need to be institutionalized, I don't think they should be allowed around people ever again. That's the kind of person that will never learn and never change.
25points
#8
I had a coworker who's wife left him. and when he told us what had happened it was obvious that she was fleeing an a*****e relationship. he told me stories about their relationship and it was INSANE the level of a***e he was comfortable admitting to. holding a pillow over her face because she wasn't in the mood to have s*x was the worst one. he claimed "that's her duty as my wife. so i was mad, and i held a pillow over her face, just for a little bit but then i stopped and we prayed and god forgave me and i forgave her and that was it." it was BAD.
so when she left, she got some friends to come and pack her stuff and flee while he was at work and couldn't stop her. and as soon as he said that i knew what kind of guy he was even before hearing any other stories. and it was clear he was escalating. he got into her email account and found the address to her new place and was mad because "how could she get a new place while without me knowing??" and he was getting angrier and angrier. and then one morning he came in and said he was "almost at his limit" because he went to her place, sat outside in his car, and started texting her. he said he asked what she was doing, and when she said "oh nothing just getting ready for bed" he flipped out because he "knew she was lying because all the lights were off."
so we called the cops :) she got a restraining order, and he was an absolute moron so he missed his court date. and he was so confused about how she found out. like he wasn't admitting to heinous acts of a***e to a captive audience.
so when she left, she got some friends to come and pack her stuff and flee while he was at work and couldn't stop her. and as soon as he said that i knew what kind of guy he was even before hearing any other stories. and it was clear he was escalating. he got into her email account and found the address to her new place and was mad because "how could she get a new place while without me knowing??" and he was getting angrier and angrier. and then one morning he came in and said he was "almost at his limit" because he went to her place, sat outside in his car, and started texting her. he said he asked what she was doing, and when she said "oh nothing just getting ready for bed" he flipped out because he "knew she was lying because all the lights were off."
so we called the cops :) she got a restraining order, and he was an absolute moron so he missed his court date. and he was so confused about how she found out. like he wasn't admitting to heinous acts of a***e to a captive audience.
25points
#9
Years ago, I dated a dangerous man and the relationship played a big part of the reason I got into true crime. He exhibited all the markers of sociopathy: glibness, charm, deceit, delusions of grandeur, flat affect, callousness, disregard for his safety and disregard for the safety of others.
Fortunately I clocked some of these details and was able to strategize my exit. When I left, he stalked me for years and called 100-150 times per day on and off for months at a time. I changed my number 6x because of the harassment. On more than one occasion, he said he would k**l me. He not only described how he would k**l me, but how he would k**l anyone I dated.
He stalked me at my jobs too, in one instance he waited outside my work at nighttime and followed me to my car. He showed up at two of my homes. I moved around a lot so he would have a harder time finding me, I also quit my jobs and changed my hair color. This man was SCARY, even with a restraining order.
It was because I watched true crime that I was able to see him for what he was and stay a few steps ahead so he couldn’t do the things he threatened. It’s been years and sometimes I’ll still catch myself looking over my shoulder or worrying that I’ll get an invasive call or text, but last I heard he’s moved to another state so there’s some distance at least. I feel safer now, at the very least much better prepared to recognize predatory traits and protect myself.
Fortunately I clocked some of these details and was able to strategize my exit. When I left, he stalked me for years and called 100-150 times per day on and off for months at a time. I changed my number 6x because of the harassment. On more than one occasion, he said he would k**l me. He not only described how he would k**l me, but how he would k**l anyone I dated.
He stalked me at my jobs too, in one instance he waited outside my work at nighttime and followed me to my car. He showed up at two of my homes. I moved around a lot so he would have a harder time finding me, I also quit my jobs and changed my hair color. This man was SCARY, even with a restraining order.
It was because I watched true crime that I was able to see him for what he was and stay a few steps ahead so he couldn’t do the things he threatened. It’s been years and sometimes I’ll still catch myself looking over my shoulder or worrying that I’ll get an invasive call or text, but last I heard he’s moved to another state so there’s some distance at least. I feel safer now, at the very least much better prepared to recognize predatory traits and protect myself.
24points
“While true crime content may help some individuals feel more prepared and safe, it can lead to adverse mental health effects for others. True crime content can also result in mixed effects on the families of victims and the communities where crimes have taken place,” BetterHelp warns.
Are you fans of true crime content, Pandas? Have these kinds of stories ever protected you? What are the most dangerous and threatening behaviors that you learned to recognize?
Share your insights and stories in the comments.
#10
I left my first husband because he reminded me of Scott Peterson when I was pregnant. I left him because he acted as if I wasn’t pregnant. He stopped speaking to me, slept on the floor of the home office we were supposed to be making a nursery, and had a fit when we found out that I was pregnant with a girl.
He began treating my first born child from another relationship like he was treating me: staring blankly like I’m not even speaking right in front of my face, and ignoring everything I said about prepping for the baby.
I left when he was at work with my pregnant a*s and a toddler. Now I’m remarried and we all rock (except for him, but he’s got 50/50 custody anyway).
As the guardian ad litem said: even if he was beating you in front of the oldest child, the law says he would get 50% shared parenting time.
No one should have to go through what Laci Peterson went through. I hope her family is at peace.
He began treating my first born child from another relationship like he was treating me: staring blankly like I’m not even speaking right in front of my face, and ignoring everything I said about prepping for the baby.
I left when he was at work with my pregnant a*s and a toddler. Now I’m remarried and we all rock (except for him, but he’s got 50/50 custody anyway).
As the guardian ad litem said: even if he was beating you in front of the oldest child, the law says he would get 50% shared parenting time.
No one should have to go through what Laci Peterson went through. I hope her family is at peace.
23points
#11
I recognized a creepy micro smile on opposing counsel and knew she was setting me up.
I watched a true crime show about a woman who was on the news saying she was distraught about a m****r, but she smiled. It was just this weird half smile for a moment. They were saying that her c**kiness didn’t fit the situation. And eventually they found out she’d m******d her husband. On another show they had a neighbor who was interviewed and he did that same creepy thing. Sort of watching to see how his statement hits, and then smiling at what he’s seeing.
A while later I was having coffee with another lawyer who wanted us to agree to mediation and gave me a big song and dance about how we were going to work together. She did the same thing. Watched me, then just had a little smile when I nodded.
I just knew she was lying. And she was.
To be fair, it’s not like you have to be psychic to know a lawyer is lying. It was just weird that she had no reason to lie to me. We weren’t on opposite sides. What it turned out she was doing was trying to set me up to make me look bad. She wanted to give my client to her friend (likely because she knew I don’t cooperate to overbill, or maybe she just didn’t like me).
That creepy smile she gave was absolutely chilling though. I’ve never talked to her again. I went back to the office and protected myself every way I could think of. Then I wrote her off, correctly.
I watched a true crime show about a woman who was on the news saying she was distraught about a m****r, but she smiled. It was just this weird half smile for a moment. They were saying that her c**kiness didn’t fit the situation. And eventually they found out she’d m******d her husband. On another show they had a neighbor who was interviewed and he did that same creepy thing. Sort of watching to see how his statement hits, and then smiling at what he’s seeing.
A while later I was having coffee with another lawyer who wanted us to agree to mediation and gave me a big song and dance about how we were going to work together. She did the same thing. Watched me, then just had a little smile when I nodded.
I just knew she was lying. And she was.
To be fair, it’s not like you have to be psychic to know a lawyer is lying. It was just weird that she had no reason to lie to me. We weren’t on opposite sides. What it turned out she was doing was trying to set me up to make me look bad. She wanted to give my client to her friend (likely because she knew I don’t cooperate to overbill, or maybe she just didn’t like me).
That creepy smile she gave was absolutely chilling though. I’ve never talked to her again. I went back to the office and protected myself every way I could think of. Then I wrote her off, correctly.
20points
#12
Watched enough true crime that by the time I was in my teens I was seriously observant. Noticed the same cars in the area with the same groups within driving almost identical circuits around the town… loops that you could almost time your watch by. They’d loop one high street and the surrounding area slowly, drive to the other side of town and do the same thing and then back again. Most had tinted windows and would slow right down to get a look at you but you couldn’t see them.
If you were alone (f) or with a few friends (also exclusively female) they would almost crawl to a halt and sometimes they would open one or multiple windows and hang out, showing off bottles of vodka or joints and inviting you to ‘go party’ or ‘come chill’. There would always be multiple guys in the car and they would all join in, asking and encouraging before cajoling gave way to ‘you f****n slag, you think you’re too good to party with us’ and other demeaning insults and threats if you said no.
I didn’t know what it was but I knew it wasn’t right and the night they caught me alone I knew there wasn’t a chance I was getting in that car… The whole thing was too organised, too regular, too f****n weird and the way they slid from charm to threats so fluidly made my stomach churn- like the charm had only ever been a way to lure you into that car. It made me think of the stereotypical predator luring kids to his vehicle with promises of puppies. I also remember watching a TC doc not long before that said never let them take you to a second location and that had really stuck.
Long story short, it was a prolific s*x ring.
The loops were them poaching new victims and monitoring existing ones alongside everything that came with that.
If you were alone (f) or with a few friends (also exclusively female) they would almost crawl to a halt and sometimes they would open one or multiple windows and hang out, showing off bottles of vodka or joints and inviting you to ‘go party’ or ‘come chill’. There would always be multiple guys in the car and they would all join in, asking and encouraging before cajoling gave way to ‘you f****n slag, you think you’re too good to party with us’ and other demeaning insults and threats if you said no.
I didn’t know what it was but I knew it wasn’t right and the night they caught me alone I knew there wasn’t a chance I was getting in that car… The whole thing was too organised, too regular, too f****n weird and the way they slid from charm to threats so fluidly made my stomach churn- like the charm had only ever been a way to lure you into that car. It made me think of the stereotypical predator luring kids to his vehicle with promises of puppies. I also remember watching a TC doc not long before that said never let them take you to a second location and that had really stuck.
Long story short, it was a prolific s*x ring.
The loops were them poaching new victims and monitoring existing ones alongside everything that came with that.
18points
#13
This thread actually prompted me to go and look up an ex who physically, emotionally and s******y a****d me when we were younger. There’s not a case in particular but after watching more true crime, I finally reconciled with the fact that I was a victim of a***e and have since said that if I could imagine any of my toxic exes committing a criminal act, it would be him. He had a habit of choking me when angered, which, is obviously not a good outlook for anyone to be doing that, much less a teenager.
Sure enough, I just found out he’s currently in jail for r**e amongst other things.
Sure enough, I just found out he’s currently in jail for r**e amongst other things.
17points
#14
When a relative started filling his FB page with sappy love notes praising his wife, it immediately make me think their marriage must be in trouble. They were separated within a few months, and he’s now in prison for, among other things, as**ulting and threatening to k**l her.
It just looked so much like so many accounts of domestic violence — and spousal m****r — that I’d seen in descriptions of notorious crimes.
It just looked so much like so many accounts of domestic violence — and spousal m****r — that I’d seen in descriptions of notorious crimes.
16points
#15
My husband and I think that one of our kid’s friend’s fathers was trying to groom our 5 y.o. daughter. He kept trying to be alone with her, he’d be overly handsy and affectionate with her, he’d always tickle her or run his fingers up her arm, he’d encourage her to climb all over him (like, doing “upsy down” flips etc)…. Basically, there was an ongoing pattern of behaviour which seemed to revolve around encouraging over-familiarity, isolation, and boundary-pushing. (And for context, we don’t know this guy AT ALL outside of school. We have known him for only 12 months, and have never socialised with him except for school pick-up / functions / kid’s birthday parties.)
I clocked all the red flags very early due to true crime podcasts and also some child safety accounts I follow on Instagram.
Luckily, this guy and his family have moved to another town 30 minutes away and no longer attend our school. So hopefully we never see them again. Because BOY did he make me uncomfortable and BOY did I not want my kid anywhere near him.
I clocked all the red flags very early due to true crime podcasts and also some child safety accounts I follow on Instagram.
Luckily, this guy and his family have moved to another town 30 minutes away and no longer attend our school. So hopefully we never see them again. Because BOY did he make me uncomfortable and BOY did I not want my kid anywhere near him.
14points
#16
Yes. My now ex (but still friends) has a sister who is a dating a man who has beat her, strangled her, k****d her kitten and they all just accepted the excuses of “he doesn’t know any better” “he was raised differently” until I sat him down and explained how much danger his sister is in. Unfortunately, she is still with him and they know have a child but her family keeps a closer eye on her and has resources ready for her when she is ready to leave.
14points
#17
My ex said he understood why Chris Watts did it. At the time I was a moron and just thought he had a lot of empathy and just really hated MLMs.
Well. He ended up cheating on me and as**ulted me twice. Intimidated me during a doctor visit so I wouldn't tell them what was going on.
I got out. I hope that girl does too.
Well. He ended up cheating on me and as**ulted me twice. Intimidated me during a doctor visit so I wouldn't tell them what was going on.
I got out. I hope that girl does too.
13points
#18
For me, it was recognizing that my son had actually dropped out of college and was lying about going to school. It really freaked me out and caused a rift for a long time in our family because I blurted out, "OH my god, this is the kind of situation where the kid k**ls his entire family." (Bad move on my part.)
I didn't realize what was going on because he had moved in with his father. And he kept saying that he was having difficulty coming up with the money for his "last semester" of college. I kept offering to pay for it and he kept insisting that he had missed the deadline for registration. This went on for about six months, and I tried to stay out of it. Then it turned out that his Father and Stepmother told him he needed to get his own apartment if he wasn't going to go back to college. (I guess to motivate him)
I went to visit him and we were discussing a topic related to his field. and as we kept talking I realized he didn't know ANYTHING about his field, especially for someone who was almost going to graduate. (Ex: something like plumbing, where not knowing a very basic thing, like how copper is the preferred piping to use, knowing that a WASHER is a type of plastic piece used in the piping, not a washing machine.) And as I'm sitting there it dawned on me that he had probably dropped out of college at the very beginning and had been lying the entire time.
It was right around the Chandler Halderson case which is the only reason I think I caught it. It wasn't as bad as his case and was just a matter of hiding that he didn't want to go into the field after all. He's since moved on to a different field and is doing well.
But it was so shocking when it suddenly dawned on me. I don't think I would have realized it at all if not for this case and the Thomas Whittaker case. It completely freaked me out.
I didn't realize what was going on because he had moved in with his father. And he kept saying that he was having difficulty coming up with the money for his "last semester" of college. I kept offering to pay for it and he kept insisting that he had missed the deadline for registration. This went on for about six months, and I tried to stay out of it. Then it turned out that his Father and Stepmother told him he needed to get his own apartment if he wasn't going to go back to college. (I guess to motivate him)
I went to visit him and we were discussing a topic related to his field. and as we kept talking I realized he didn't know ANYTHING about his field, especially for someone who was almost going to graduate. (Ex: something like plumbing, where not knowing a very basic thing, like how copper is the preferred piping to use, knowing that a WASHER is a type of plastic piece used in the piping, not a washing machine.) And as I'm sitting there it dawned on me that he had probably dropped out of college at the very beginning and had been lying the entire time.
It was right around the Chandler Halderson case which is the only reason I think I caught it. It wasn't as bad as his case and was just a matter of hiding that he didn't want to go into the field after all. He's since moved on to a different field and is doing well.
But it was so shocking when it suddenly dawned on me. I don't think I would have realized it at all if not for this case and the Thomas Whittaker case. It completely freaked me out.
13points
#19
I realized my ex was becoming a*****e through small acts. It ended with him actually attempting to k**l me and a restraining order.
11points
#20
This is such a great question and my first thought would also be the same if I was in your shoes with your son!
My answer is my brother in law- he took joy in harming animals when he was younger, he was a bully, he loved to set fires, and he was a bed wetter almost into preteen years.
He’s a really nice guy now as an adult but when my husband was describing him as a child/teen, I was like omg he’s gonna be on the news as a serial k**ler lol. But he’s genuinely harmless and does not have remotely enough confidence to k**l anyone. But what’s funny is when he came to visit recently, my cats who are extremely social with strangers were instantly TERRIFIED of him and would not even be on the same floor as him. I had to feed them in my room with the door closed, otherwise they would not eat. It’s like they sensed his past with animals.
My answer is my brother in law- he took joy in harming animals when he was younger, he was a bully, he loved to set fires, and he was a bed wetter almost into preteen years.
He’s a really nice guy now as an adult but when my husband was describing him as a child/teen, I was like omg he’s gonna be on the news as a serial k**ler lol. But he’s genuinely harmless and does not have remotely enough confidence to k**l anyone. But what’s funny is when he came to visit recently, my cats who are extremely social with strangers were instantly TERRIFIED of him and would not even be on the same floor as him. I had to feed them in my room with the door closed, otherwise they would not eat. It’s like they sensed his past with animals.
11points