Dating can be pretty hard for women nowadays. One 2024 study found that single women tend to be happier than single men. What's more, the number of women who are dating is steadily decreasing. A 2023 Pew survey revealed that in 2019, 38% of single American women were looking for dates. In 2022, that number dropped to 35%.
For some gals, it's about safety; they just don't feel comfortable going on dates with strangers. In a couple of threads online, women have been sharing what behaviors might signal that it's not entirely safe to go back to the guy's place after a date. Others also shared their thoughts about what generally might signal that a man is dangerous.
#1
More of a really small indicator, but I think a guy that makes jokes at other peoples expense but can’t handle when he’s being joked about.
63points
#2
Destroying things in anger. People get mad, it happens. I don't care if someone yells or swears to let off some steam. But if you smash your TV because of a video game or your sports team loses, I don't want to be around you.
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57points
#3
Wanting you to not maintain close relationships with others- friends and family. This tends mean that they're try to isolate you and control every aspect of your life.
56points
#4
Animals don’t like him, consistently flinch away. It usually means they sense the predator in him or are being abused themselves in secret.
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55points
#5
Im a man, but I would like to tell you some warning signs to look out for straight from the horses mouth. If he has an issue with women making more money than him, or doesn't like it when you contact friends or family that's a major warning sign. Trust me, it WILL get worse over time. If they keep trying to get you alone, when you said you don't want to you need to run. This last one will seem obvious, but if he shows irritation when you put a coaster or something over your drink, he's definitely dangerous.
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45points
#6
If you are scared of him. Trust that gut feeling.
43points
#7
Not respecting your boundaries. Someone that shows they don’t respect boundaries you set around small things (topics of conversation; how personal you’re comfortable getting; touch; etc) is not going to respect larger boundaries. If you say no to anything and they push you on it, bye.
42points
#8
Pay attention to how he treats people who he has nothing to gain from or have less social status/money. Make sure it isn't performative. He doesn't see you as an equal either and that will show up in ugly and unexpected ways.
38points
#10
Any attempts of intimidation whether physical or mental. Hitting a wall near your face, pushing you shaking you, trying to scare you with mental tactics.
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36points
#11
Rigidity.
He has to have everything his way and to his specs and be right and be the good guy all the time, no exceptions.
It's the men who can't handle even minor emotional discomfort who get overwhelmed and last out physically when there's a real conflict.
He has to have everything his way and to his specs and be right and be the good guy all the time, no exceptions.
It's the men who can't handle even minor emotional discomfort who get overwhelmed and last out physically when there's a real conflict.
35points
#12
Legitimately, right wing or even moderate political beliefs. I'm transgender, and I'm a woman; I can't be safe with anyone who thinks my rights or validity are up for debate.
31points
#13
Yelling to make a point instead of discussing things.
In those instances I know he’s trying to scare me into shutting up. It works. I also don’t want to talk to him anymore.
In those instances I know he’s trying to scare me into shutting up. It works. I also don’t want to talk to him anymore.
30points
#14
Actions and speech do not align. Actions and attitude do not align.
I know a lot of people say "anger issues" but some men don't even get angry before they verbally or physically attack you. They do it with a smile on their face.
I know a lot of people say "anger issues" but some men don't even get angry before they verbally or physically attack you. They do it with a smile on their face.
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29points
#15
If he starts speeding or driving wrecklessly just because y’all had a disagreement, that’s a red flag 100%.
My dumb a*s shrugged it off and blamed myself for his behavior. I told myself, “if only I didnt say x,y,z” and I just want y’all to know that this sort of behavior shows that he isn’t afraid to take you down with him. It shows he doesn’t care for your safety or value/respect/love you. And it shows up subtly in other ways in the relationship; whether it’s consent, your money, your time, not comforting you when you’re scared, or straight forwardly taking his anger and aggression out on you later down the line.
Ya gotta thing about what it says about him to not care for basic safety over just an argument.
My dumb a*s shrugged it off and blamed myself for his behavior. I told myself, “if only I didnt say x,y,z” and I just want y’all to know that this sort of behavior shows that he isn’t afraid to take you down with him. It shows he doesn’t care for your safety or value/respect/love you. And it shows up subtly in other ways in the relationship; whether it’s consent, your money, your time, not comforting you when you’re scared, or straight forwardly taking his anger and aggression out on you later down the line.
Ya gotta thing about what it says about him to not care for basic safety over just an argument.
Report
28points
#16
Holding sexist opinions and being incapable of controlling their anger.
25points
#17
A quite small thing to notice, but a huge red flag I’ve experienced is if the guy constantly walks in front of you, or talks over you every time you say something. If you’re walking together, and he never walks beside you, and leaves you behind- run. It’s a very subtle thing to notice, but guys who do that tend to have ego issues, or don’t respect women imo. And the talking over you, is quite an obvious sign.
25points
#18
Stalking. That was some terrifying s**t. Even when you remove all forms of contact with them, they’ll still find a way to watch/intimidate you.
24points
#19
Rampant jealousy over the smallest things. Interrogates you every time you go somewhere without him.
24points
#20
If you get that weird sinking feeling when near him. As humans we still have many instincts, and may be picking up tyings subconsciously.
Breaking stuff when angry
The look sometimes (the way he looks at you I mean). Idk how to explain it. But the way someone looks at you sometimes it's just unsettling. Happened to me once and I had to pretend to change trains in the subway because something felt just too off.
Gaslighting.
Just off the top of my head.
Breaking stuff when angry
The look sometimes (the way he looks at you I mean). Idk how to explain it. But the way someone looks at you sometimes it's just unsettling. Happened to me once and I had to pretend to change trains in the subway because something felt just too off.
Gaslighting.
Just off the top of my head.
22points