As a woman it was becoming invisible. At a certain age people seem to stop seeing you, even if you’re right in front of them, you’re somehow just part of the background.
People talk over you or at you instead of to you, young people assume you’re technologically clueless, employers think you’re past it and older people think you’re still wet behind the ears. In the meantime you’re getting your kids to launch and taking care of elderly parents. You’re “x’s mom”, “y’s wife” and “z’s daughter” but you’re never yourself. You’re the “responsible party” and the “emergency call-out” but you’re not a person, just an ambulatory skill set.
The worst of the caregiving is behind me now but I’m still “y’s wife” and still mostly unseen.
People talk over you or at you instead of to you, young people assume you’re technologically clueless, employers think you’re past it and older people think you’re still wet behind the ears. In the meantime you’re getting your kids to launch and taking care of elderly parents. You’re “x’s mom”, “y’s wife” and “z’s daughter” but you’re never yourself. You’re the “responsible party” and the “emergency call-out” but you’re not a person, just an ambulatory skill set.
The worst of the caregiving is behind me now but I’m still “y’s wife” and still mostly unseen.