Healthy relationships require a few non-negotiable things like trust, honesty, and transparency. The core idea is that you respect your partner enough to show them the ‘real you,’ including what your past was like. On the other hand, if you act cagey, your significant other might start suspecting something awful.
The internet weighed in on one man’s online story, where he detailed why he decided not to adopt his wife’s two children. According to him, it all started with his wife acting suspiciously, which made him spy on her, forcing him to learn the truth about the kids’ real father. You’ll find the full story and the internet’s varied opinions below.
If you're married to the person you love, you assume you know most things about their life. That's not always the case
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This man shared how he resorted to spying on his wife after she began acting suspiciously. What he uncovered rocked the foundations of their relationship
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Most people lie. However, most of those lies are pretty much inconsequential
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Dishonesty is something you want to avoid in any relationship, but especially when it comes to your significant other. Everyone lies to a certain extent, sure. But the goal is to be as honest as you possibly can so you can build a relationship based on trust.
If you lie about the most important aspects of your life, you’re basing the entire relationship on a foundation of dishonesty and secrecy. And that can make everything tumble when the truth eventually gets out.
Though, to be fair, people don’t always intend for their lies to hurt you. Sometimes, they’re dishonest precisely because they want to spare your feelings. That being said, they assume that you won’t understand their past choices, which says a lot about their lack of trust in you as their partner.
A recent study found that the vast majority of people, around 75%, don’t lie all that much. They lie between zero and two times per day. What’s more, most of these lies are about inconsequential things. 90% of the lies they told were white lies.
Meanwhile, just 6% of respondents lied very little on average, but they had rare days when they lied much more frequently. Day-to-day variance in lying frequency can fluctuate quite a bit depending on the individual.
There are various reasons for dishonesty, from protecting yourself and your loved ones to getting personal gain
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“People who are usually honest have days in which they lie more than is typical for them and prolific liars have days in which they tell few lies. Generally, prolific liars exhibited much more day-to-day variation than the rest of the sample. And this variance was especially true for the top 1 % of liars who averaged 17 lies per day. The only respondents who did not vary much day-to-day were the 1 % who almost never lied.”
Based on the findings of the study, most lies (21%) were told to avoid other people. A fifth (20%) were told as jokes or pranks, 14% to protect oneself, 13% to impress others or appear more favorable, and 11% to protect another person.
Meanwhile, 9% of people said they lied for personal benefit or gain, 5% lied for the benefit of another person, 2% admitted they lied to hurt another person, and 5% said they told lies for unspecified reasons or for no reason at all.
Most people lied to their friends (51%), followed by their family members (21%), colleagues or fellow students (11%), strangers (8.9%), and casual acquaintances (8.5%).
What do you think, Pandas? How would you react if you realized that your partner kept significant parts of their life secret from you or had a hidden agenda? What kinds of lies do you think are and aren’t acceptable when you’re in a long-term romantic relationship? Share your thoughts below.
Most internet users who weighed in on the situation were on the man's side
Others, however, were much more critical. Here's their perspective
