Mom Treats Everyone In Family As Free Babysitters Because It’s Her “Village”, Gets A Reality Check

"It takes a village to raise a child" is one of those ideas that folks throw around but few really make work. However, if you have a kid and family nearby, it’s not at all weird to ask for a little help now and then. But, as with everything, there are folks who just end up taking it way too far and making demands that border on unreasonable.

A man asked the internet if he was wrong to refuse his cousin’s last minute babysitting request, after she claimed it was ok because he was “part of her village.” We reached out to the man who posted the story via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

Despite almost being a cliche at this point, there actually isn’t a lot of evidence as to where the idea of “it takes a village” comes from. NPR attempted to pin it down, but was ultimately unsuccessful. Like many proverbs, it’s one of those ideas that just gets passed down, often orally, meaning that in the long run it’s nearly impossible to know where exactly it came from.

If you are unfamiliar with it, simply put, it refers to the idea that, to successfully raise a child, just a parent (or two) often isn’t enough, the kid needs to grow up in a healthy environment, where it can interact with all sorts of people outside of the house. It also points to the general importance of a good support network and community.

After all, if you live in a place where you like and trust your neighbors, chances are it’s a good place to raise a family. It’s also good for parents who, like most people out there, have jobs. Babysitting can be expensive, as we see in this story, so it’s helpful to have friends and family around who can pitch in.

However, this doesn’t mean that having some friends and family nearby means you can outsource parental duties at a whim. As this man indicates, the real issue is that there was no warning. We don’t exactly know what his approach to babysitting is, but the fact that he already had plans he paid for should be an indication that he isn’t available. Some folks simply do not understand what they can and can’t ask people to do.

The cousin isn’t exactly wrong, perhaps her family member is part of her “village” but this doesn’t actually entitle her to some special treatment. Asking for babysitting is fine, demanding it regardless of circumstances is not. In general, family can help, but they can’t be treated as an endless fountain of labor and free stuff. It’s telling that the main point of criticism leveled against the man was that he was perhaps rude in how he responded.

After all, he was not wrong to refuse, but it wasn’t perhaps necessary to say the things he did, even if he believed them. At the very least, his words might ensure that he is never asked to babysit again, although at the cost of perhaps cutting ties entirely. Unfortunately, he doesn’t provide an update, so we can only speculate.