Any story related to the loss of a close relative is incredibly difficult for those who have had to endure such a terrible blow in their life and find the strength to move on. People say time heals all wounds, but that's not always true.
Today, we want to share the story of a mother who first had to endure the terrible ordeal of losing her daughter, and then, years later, had to deny another daughter her important request. So, let's read this tale together.
More info: Reddit
All the questions related to the late members of the family are incredibly sensitive, especially for the living parents of those people
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The author of the post is 55 years old, she lost her youngest daughter and her fiancé a few years ago, and her youngest daughter is getting married soon
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The bride-to-be asked her mom to let her wear her sister's unworn wedding gown for her wedding
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However, the mom refused since this dress actually was just a memory of her late daughter, more a symbol than just clothing
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The bride-to-be offered money for buying out the gown, but the mom was adamant - and her husband also sided with her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman admits that her living daughter was sorta golden child years ago, so she just wants to equalize the situation somehow
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The mom and daughter ended up with a heart-to-heart conversation, and they finally came to an agreement and decided to pick a brand new dress together
The Original poster (OP) is now 55 years old. She and her husband had two daughters, "Opal" and "Amelia." Opal and her fiancé had left four years ago. Since then, our heroine has kept her wedding dress, which Opal, sadly, never got to wear, in her home. The dress is very beautiful and stylish, and it serves as a memento of her daughter.
Amelia recently asked the author to lend her this dress for her own wedding - she wanted to save money for other expenses - but our heroine was adamantly against it. Even when her daughter offered to buy the dress, the original poster still said "No." And for her, it wasn't even about money.
The point, says the OP, is that throughout her life, Amelia has been treated more favorably by her parents, and the mother in particular, than Opal. Her older sister could count on leniency in chores, and she received full funding for her education, while Opal had to compromise literally every time. So now the mother wants to "pay her back" - at least this way.
To explain her position - more sentimental than rational - the mother had to meet with Amelia and tell her about her motives in detail. It was a difficult conversation, with tears and touching memories, but the OP says she understood and accepted her point. The mom suggested they choose a new wedding dress together, and the bride-to-be agreed. Let's hope this puts an end to any disagreements between them.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, the issue of wearing clothing or jewelry from late relatives at weddings is a very sensitive and controversial one. Some experts do believe it's a great way to honor the memory of a lost relative. "In any case, this issue should be discussed with all those involved," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
According to Irina, this was a problem of different attitudes on the part of mother and daughter. While the former viewed the situation from a moral and ethical perspective - as an opportunity, just years later, to offer her late daughter a belated apology for the unfair treatment she received - the latter most likely just wanted to approach the issue of choosing a gown rationally.
"In this regard, it's good that mother and daughter finally found the way to sit down and discuss this issue, trying to understand each other. Unfortunately, very often, the parties in such conflicts don't seek understanding, but instead jump straight to offences and arguments. This approach is unconstructive and leads to nothing but a worsening of family relationships," Irina Matveeva sums up.
Opinions from commenters on the original post were quite divided. Some believed that Amelia just wanted a pretty dress and didn't care about the memory of her sister. Others wrote that the mother and daughter did the right thing by reaching a consensus and finding a solution by searching for a new dress together. In any case, it's good that this story didn't end with a big spat between close people. Ain't it, our dear readers?
Some commenters criticized the bride for being overly rational here, but almost all of them were glad of the consensus made by the mom and daughter
