Everyone vows to be there for their partner in sickness and in health, but it’s only when emergency situations arise that that promise is truly tested. These moments of crisis tend to reveal a person’s true nature, which might sometimes be hard to come to terms with.
This is what happened to a couple when the man chose to take a nap instead of checking up on his partner, who had such bad pain that she rushed to the emergency room. He didn’t think he had done anything wrong and was shocked when her dad called him out.
More info: Reddit
Being there for a loved one during difficult moments is so important because, sometimes, just a little bit of support can make all the difference
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that he worked an early job that started at 5 a.m., which is why he was often asleep by the time his girlfriend, Hannah, got back from work
Image credits: tonodiaz / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, while the poster was sleeping, he got a text from Hannah that she was going to the hospital, as she had been having torso pains for almost an hour
Image credits: Stockbusters / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the man knew that Hannah didn’t visit doctors unless it was an emergency, he went back to sleep and was unconcerned, even when he woke up
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Hannah later told her parents about her hospital visit, and her dad was mad that the poster hadn’t gone to visit her or even driven her home
It seems like the OP always prioritizes his sleep over everything else because he works an early morning shift, and his relationship with his girlfriend, Hannah, might even come second. Over time, they clearly settled into their own routines, with both their work and sleep schedules being on very different wavelengths.
The only problem with that is, when the poster randomly got a text from Hannah about having to go to the emergency room, he decided to put his need for sleep above checking up on her in the hospital. Even though he knew she never went to a doctor unless things were serious, he still felt there was nothing to worry about and went back to bed instead.
It’s definitely terrifying to have to go to the hospital alone, which is why Bored Panda reached out to Gina Barreca, PhD, for her point of view on this situation. Gina, whose pieces for Psychology Today have received over 8.5 million views, explained that “when someone you know is at their most vulnerable, it’s not an ordinary day, so you adjust accordingly. Maybe you grab a body-wipe, a donut, and are fueled by adrenaline as you head immediately to offer them comfort, strength, and advocacy, as needed.”
Even if the poster didn’t think the situation was that serious, maybe Hannah could have texted him asking for help. Gina clarified this and said that “it sounds as if she was incapable of thinking clearly precisely because she was in a crisis, and because she was used to being a tough cookie.” That’s exactly why the OP should have been by her side to provide support in such a tough time.
Image credits: user14526789 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even after the poster woke up from his nap and realized that Hannah hadn’t come back home, he didn’t text her or try to find out what had happened. It’s only when she came home after five hours and said that the pain had been due to kidney stones that he offered her any kind of support.
Although it might seem like a minor issue, medical experts state that kidney stones can be incredibly painful and even lead to infections or unexpected complications. That’s why having to deal with all this alone must have been scary and tough for Hannah, whether she voiced it or not.
Her parents must have understood her emotions, because her dad blew up at the OP for not visiting her in the emergency room. He couldn’t understand why the poster hadn’t supported her at all or worried about her well-being enough to go to the hospital.
Gina Barreca explained that even the strongest people need to be able to reach out for support and have someone they can rely on. “If we discover that someone we had imagined would be a presence in our lives turns out to be too selfish to make an effort, then it’s time to re-group and reconsider the nature of the relationship,” she added.
Nobody wants to find themselves in a situation like this, where they realize that things are one-sided with the person they love the most. Hopefully, Hannah and the OP are able to talk about this problem openly and come to an understanding of how best to support each other.
How do you feel about the man’s actions, and what would you have done if you were in his place? Do share your thoughts in the comments below.
People were shocked by the poster’s callousness and felt that he had been a jerk for ignoring his girlfriend when she was in distress
