Conflicts with in-laws happen often. After all, you've chosen your spouse, not the family that they come with. Apparently, three out of four people experience trouble with their in-laws. This woman got into an argument with both her mother-in-law and sister-in-law.
The SIL wanted the woman to babysit her children. What's the big deal, you say? Well, it was the woman's wedding day. When the SIL and the MIL ganged up on the bride-to-be, she turned to the Internet to ask for advice. Was she being selfish for refusing to help, or was she right to not have to do childcare on her big day?
It can be hard to find someone to look after kids during a wedding
Image credits: Alexander Mass / pexels (not the actual photo)
But this woman had the audacity to ask the bride to babysit her multiple kids during her wedding weekend
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Maryia Plashchynskaya / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: This-Candy5592
Many people nowadays opt to hire babysitters during weddings
The author doesn't specify explicitly, but it seems that her wedding does include kids. She mentions how she didn't want the SIL to feel excluded since her own sister's children were invited as well. However, since the SIL has seven of them, the family might consider hiring a babysitter for the wedding.
In fact, many newlyweds and parents attending weddings are choosing to do so. Thomas Waters, owner and event planner at The Renaissance, told The Knot how important it is for newlyweds to offer this service to parents when the wedding is happening out of town, like the destination wedding in this case.
Wedding babysitters can be a godsend to the other parents as well, not just the MIL and the SIL in this story. Granted, the cost of the wedding babysitter depends on the number of children, the geographical location, and the ages of the kids. On average, according to The Knot, parents should expect to pay $20-$40 an hour. Still, wedding planning experts advise many newlyweds to consider this option.
Destination Sitters, one of the companies that offer wedding babysitters, writes that their sitters can come to either the venue or a hotel. "Our wedding babysitters come prepared with toys and age-appropriate activities to create a separate fun zone for kids so that their parents can enjoy your wedding events with peace of mind that their children are being well cared for."
Although it would come with an extra cost for the bride and groom, a wedding babysitter might really help this situation. Then neither the MIL nor the bride would have to look after the kids and all the adults could enjoy the wedding festivities.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Telling a parent their child's behavior is unacceptable is hard, but necessary
The author writes how one of her main gripes with this situation is that the kids she's supposed to babysit "behave poorly." She claims that her sister-in-law "does not discipline or hold her children accountable, signaling that the two women have different views on parenting.
In reality, it's quite common to disagree with how someone disciplines (or doesn't) their kids. Everyone has their own parenting style, so we can just choose to ignore or steer clear of those with whom we disagree.
However, when that parent is a family member, the situation turns more delicate. Etiquette coach and lifestyle expert Lisa Gaché recommends giving the parent the benefit of the doubt first. Perhaps the mother is struggling with so many kids in the house she's not able to give them all the attention and discipline they need. Maybe she's burnt out and needs someone to talk to.
Second, Gaché writes, is accepting you can't control other children. And more so their parents. So, the best course of action is to spend as little time as possible with those family members, as the author seemingly already did.
Gaché says it's best to be straightforward with family members and not sugarcoat it. "With family, you should not have to stand on ceremony or make up excuses. A calm, straightforward conversation might do the trick and even bring everyone a little closer in the end," she writes.
Image credits: Gustavo Fring / pexels (not the actual photo)
The bride later added an update about what her fiancée decided to do
Most people agreed the bride is not the jerk here; it's strange to expect a person to babysit your kids on their wedding day
And some even asked why she invited this family at all
