What does almost every movie, TV series, or book actually teach us? Well, besides the fact that the author wanted to make some money... For example, that any strong feeling, be it love or friendship, must endure various life tests. And only then, if the test is passed, can we say the feeling is genuine. Sometimes, however, only until the next test...
Well, the user u/Ok-Razzmatazz-6953, the narrator of our story today, doesn't seem to have had much luck with friendship. At least, judging by the author's own words, her bestie of over ten years hasn't stood the test of life's difficulties. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves and just go read this story together.
More info: Reddit
Life teaches us that parenting is, first and foremost, taking full responsibility for your kids — but not in this story!
Image credits: massonstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has a longtime bestie, a mom of 2, and sometimes eagerly helps her with taking care of them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, over time, the mom probably started considering the author as a free nanny and a daycare combined
Image credits: pressmaster / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She made a habit of dropping the kids off without any warning, for days, and without any food or money for diapers
Image credits: Ok-Razzmatazz-6953
So, when the author finally said she would no longer take care of the kids for free, she took heat from her, probably now former, friend
So, the original poster (OP) and her best friend, "Lilly," both in their mid-twenties, have been friends since high school. Lilly now has two children, ages 5 and 3, and the author occasionally helps her friend with babysitting and taking care of her offspring. But recently, circumstances have taken a turn for the worse, causing the mom to misuse her friend's kindness.
For example, she developed a habit of simply dropping the kids off at the OP's place, without any warning, for entire days. She didn't leave any money for food or diapers - the author had to buy everything herself. It's not that our heroine is well-off. No, she herself sometimes has a pretty tight budget.
Perhaps the final straw for the original poster was when a friend dropped off the kids unannounced right in the middle of a work call (the OP works from home). The woman had to lose half her workday to taking care of the kids. And no matter how well she treated them, this began to weigh heavily on her.
It all ended with the OP announcing that she would no longer babysit the friend's kids for free. And that she will no longer support them at her own expense as well. The mom, as expected, took this more than critically, calling the OP "selfish" and claiming she doesn't know what it's like to be a mom. Now the friendship is on the verge of a breakup, and the author has decided to seek support and advice online.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"I'm almost 100% sure this woman did the right thing," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda contacted for a comment. "I'll reserve a few percent for truly difficult situations where selfless help is really important. However, judging by the author's description, this just looks like outright manipulation."
Ultimately, according to the expert, it was the original poster's friend's choice to have kids, and she bears full responsibility for the current situation — no one else, except her and the father of the kids. So attempts to shift this burden onto others, hiding behind beautiful words of friendship and help, are nothing more than the weaponization of her own issues.
"To be honest, I really don't think it was fair. The friend is trying to solve her problems at the expense of others — and then starts guilt-tripping them after facing a rejection. In any case, friendship must be tested by various life hardships — and this one, apparently, failed that test," Irina Matveeva sadly summarizes.
People in the comments, unlike the original poster's friends, were completely on her side. According to the responders, this behavior from the friend (probably a former friend now) only speaks to her entitlement. "She isn't your best friend. And hasn't been for a while" — this was the common verdict of many commenters. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this?
Most commenters, however, unanimously sided with the author, claiming that her friend had actually never been a true friend anyway
