Going to university is a big deal. It’s even more impressive when you continue your higher education and get not just your bachelor's and master’s degrees, but also the legendary doctorate. It requires a ton of discipline, perseverance, and focus. And it’s definitely worth celebrating! That being said, you have to make sure to stay grounded and not let your fancy education go to your head. Humility is underrated.
And yet… not everyone manages to keep their ego in check. In a post on the AITAH group, redditor u/IMVenting66 revealed how her sister-in-law, who recently got her PhD, dramatically stormed out of a family get-together. All because her family wouldn’t call her ‘doctor’ when talking to her! Check out the full story below, and keep scrolling to take a peek at the internet’s increasingly confused reactions. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Getting a PhD is a huge deal and definitely worth celebrating! But alas, some folks let it swell their egos
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One internet user shared how a family gathering went wrong after her sister-in-law started pressuring everyone to call her 'doctor'
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: IMVenting66
There is a vast gulf between work and family settings. It's unfair to demand that your loved ones call you by your title
Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)
It is completely natural to want other people to like, admire, and respect you. We all want to be looked up to. We all want to be seen as important members of the community. It’s an innate human drive. It’s deeply hardwired into our very existence, seeing as we’re social animals and such.
But alongside that ambitious drive for recognition, there’s another instinct—the desire to genuinely connect with all the other members of that very same community. And that means finding common ground. It’s hard to forge genuine, deep connections if you’re constantly showing off and proclaiming how very different you are from everyone else.
Or, to put it another way, people don’t particularly enjoy someone boasting about how much better, how unbelievably special they are. Yes, getting your doctorate degree is certainly cause for celebration! But it’s beyond ridiculous to expect folks outside of a professional setting, including your close family and your literal spouse, to call you ‘doctor.’
Being in a relationship with someone with a big ego can be utterly exhausting. There are lots of pitfalls
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That’s just an ego-trip. And you need to dial things back a bit before you cause serious damage to your closest relationships. Not to mention the fact that this can put a lot of unnecessary strain on your marriage if your soulmate can’t even call you by your actual name. Again, it’s ridiculous.
Being in a long-term relationship with someone who has a big ego can be… Challenging to say the least. According to Marriage.com
, here are some of the main red flags that your partner might have a large ego:
- They always want to be right and refuse to admit when they’re wrong
- Your partner tends to dominate conversations, leaving you feeling unheard
- They seek to control various aspects of your relationship without consulting you much
- Your significant other craves admiration, yet tends to be emotionally manipulative
- They’re unwilling to be vulnerable because they see this as a sign of ‘weakness’
- They crave admiration, criticize other people to boost their self-esteem, and generally struggle with empathy
- They tend to be jealous, defensive, unwilling to compromise, and avoid acknowledging your achievements in the relationship
There’s a balance to be found in life. You want to be confident yet grounded. You want to have your achievements acknowledged, and also be humble enough to not let the praise change you. You want to feel seen and heard, while also seeing and actively listening to others.
We’ve all wobbled trying to balance these things, either being too egocentric or being a pushover at times.
Being proud of your achievements and being prideful are two very different things
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As per Verywell Mind, it’s vital to see the difference between pride and being prideful. “Pride is not a negative thing—it is actually quite important. Pride involves being proud and there is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself or where you come from. Taking pride in yourself, your culture, your achievements, etc. are great qualities. It’s important to embrace who you are, what you’ve accomplished, and the journey it took to get there.”
The problems start cropping up only when pride becomes excessive and you start behaving in a selfish, narcissistic manner. “If a person begins to think they are better than others and only makes decisions based on what’s best for them, they are considered self-centered and prideful. Obsessive pride makes it difficult to be considerate to others or form genuine relationships. People who are too prideful may not notice or realize that there are areas in which they can improve. Prideful people may also find it difficult to be self-aware when they are in the wrong.”
A big part of changing yourself and becoming more grounded is basic self-awareness. You have to be willing to take a good, long, hard look at your behavior. Try to see what your insecurities are, think about where they come from, and consider asking a mental health professional for help if you’re struggling with this.
Try turning the spotlight away from yourself and giving others more attention. Hand out genuine compliments. Focus on how someone else is doing, what they’re feeling, and what they’ve accomplished.
It’s also a good idea to remember that even though you (think you) are at the top of your game right now, things can and do change. You might be in a much more humbling position in the future. So, keep your ego in check by thinking about your relationships from a long-term perspective, rather than chasing short-term admiration.
What’s your take on the extremely bizarre family situation, dear Pandas? How would you react if someone close to you berated you for not calling them ‘doctor’ once they got their PhD? What do you do to stay humble in life? Share your opinions with everyone else in the comments below.
The vast majority of readers were baffled that anyone would behave like this. Here's how they saw the situation
Some internet users were a bit detached from how the real world works. Here are their controversial takes
