People like their weddings to have a certain aesthetic and that includes not only decorations but a dress code as well. They might want their guests to follow a certain theme or color palette, but some couples go even further than that and may require people to make long-lasting changes to their appearance such as lose weight, color or cut their hair.
This man was actually asked by his sister to cut his hair short because her future husband is evangelical and long hair for men is unacceptable. The Redditor wasn’t even planning on doing that, but nobody was on his side, so he asked the internet if he should do as the bride and groom wish.
More info: Reddit
Man with long hair caused drama in the family when he got an exception to not cut his hair for his sister's wedding
Image credits: shaniaculter (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) is from a place in Brazil where radical evangelical churches are pretty common. His older sister is getting married very soon and her future husband is evangelical. It wouldn’t be a problem in itself, but that man is very religious and likes to impose his religion on others, and OP’s family is not super religious.
The OP never got along with his future brother-in-law because they could never agree on anything in their discussions. On top of that, the sister’s fiancé would try to change him, his bisexuality, political views or lack of religion in his life.
Another thing that the sister’s fiancé wants to change about the OP is his hair. A few years ago he started growing it out and now it reaches his shoulders, but according to the future BIL’s religion, men must have short hair.
So among other rules related to the ceremony, the OP was asked to cut his hair. His sister didn’t think it should be a big deal as men don’t care about their hair. But her brother could abide by all the other rules except this one. He wasn’t planning on cutting his hair that he spent a lot of time growing.
The man's sister is getting married to an evangelist and they never got along, but now he wants to force his belief of men having only short hair on the story poster
Image credits: u/throwaway4897577
You may think that it’s a weird rule, but it most probably came from the bible as Britannica defines the evangelical church as “any of the classical Protestant churches or their offshoots but especially, since the late 20th century, churches that stress the preaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ, personal conversion experiences, Scripture as the sole basis for faith, and active evangelism (the winning of personal commitments to Christ).”
The National Association of Evangelicals also stresses the importance of taking the Bible seriously and believing in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. The Association states 4 characteristics that define evangelicalism.
It took a few years to grow his hair out to shoulder length, so the man would rather just not go to the wedding
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Image credits: CarlosMDSilva (not the actual image)
The first one is conversion, “the belief that lives need to be transformed through a 'born-again' experience and a lifelong process of following Jesus.”
The second one is biblicism, “a high regard for and obedience to the Bible as the ultimate authority.”
Another one is activism, “the expression and demonstration of the gospel in missionary and social reform efforts.”
And the last one is crucicentrism, “a stress on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross as making possible the redemption of humanity.”
His parents, although annoyed at his protest, asked for his sister to make him an exception as she would regret not having her brother at her wedding
Image credits: u/throwaway4897577
A Pew Research Center survey involving participants of the Third Lausanne Congress of World Evangelization revealed that the behaviors that they think make one a good Evangelical are “following the teachings of Christ in one’s personal and family life” (97 percent) and “working to lead others to Christ” (94 percent).
So the rules that an Evangelist should follow are taken from the Bible, which is problematic as it has many contradictions, it can have some translation errors, and some parts of it are so obscure that everyone can have a different interpretation.
The sister agreed, but word spread and the man's aunt found out that he is not being asked to cut his hair and is allowed at the wedding, which made her mad
Image credits: u/throwaway4897577
Image credits: RowlandKidman (not the actual image)
Regardless of what the Bible says about men with long hair, the OP didn’t think it was right to ask him to make long-term changes to his appearance. After many fights, the OP gave an ultimatum: either he is keeping his hair or not going to the wedding. The parents had to intervene and ask their daughter to make an exception because she would regret not having such an important person at her wedding.
Although, that didn’t mean that the parents were on his side, but just thought that him not coming would be worse than him coming with his long hair. But they didn’t know what was coming next, because then OP’s aunt found out about the exception. She was mad because her two sons also have long hair and weren’t attending because of the rules.
It divided the family and some were on the OP and his aunt’s side, believing that the rules were too controlling. Also, more people refused to attend the wedding, which is now turning into a fiasco because the bride lost two bridesmaids and a ringbearer because of the rules for women.
It is because the aunt has two sons who aren't coming to the wedding only because of their hair length
Image credits: u/throwaway4897577
Now even more people have refused to attend the wedding upon realizing how controlling the hair rule was
Image credits: u/throwaway4897577
Redditors agreed that being religious is a personal choice, but it doesn’t give those people the right to manage other people’s lives and make them be someone they’re not. In general, people deemed the request ridiculous and didn’t understand why it mattered.
What did you think of this story? Why do you think so many people were annoyed with the OP not wanting to cut his hair? Have you ever dealt with unreasonable requests for attending a wedding? Let us know in the comments.
Redditors considered the future BIL's request ridiculous as you can't ask people to make long-term changes to their appearance to be able to come to a wedding
