Having a baby on the way and thinking of its name is usually exciting for both the parents as well as grandparents. However, when this excitement from the side of grandparents grows into controlling behavior, thinking that they have a bigger say here or some special privilege to control the process without being asked first, it might lead to a much bigger conflict, creating problems that outgrow the otherwise amusing process of naming one's baby. This Redditor got to face such baseless demands when dealing with her mother’s emotional outburst over her baby’s name.
More info: Reddit
A pregnant woman is left on a hiking path by her mother after she mentions considering a different baby name
Image credits: Yaniv Yaakubovich (not the actual photo)
The 28 Y.O. is high-risk and on modified bed rest, but her mother still manages to drive off, leaving her in the park with no cell phone
Image credits: No_Suit2126
Image credits: T N (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No_Suit2126
The mother-to-be mentioned she was considering a different baby name
Image credits: Huron-Manistee National Forests (not the actual photo)
The woman's mother growled, cursed, then got in her car and drove away
This woman’s mother assumed she had a bigger say in naming the baby than the baby's mother, as she burst into anger when her pregnant daughter mentioned she thought of a different name for her baby. This much was enough for this soon-to-be grandmother to growl, throw her hands in the air, yell a curse, turn around, storm off to her car, get in, and drive away, leaving her pregnant daughter in the park. Her inappropriate reaction and emotional pressure on her daughter seem eloquent enough in their own right.
However, the pregnant woman being high-risk, and on modified bed rest, who got okay-ed to continue doing her mile-walks, but is mostly meant to be sitting with her feet up all day, so she doesn’t get sick again, adds to calling her mother’s behavior not only rude and controlling, but also reckless and extremely irresponsible.
In this situation, the soon-to-be grandmother seems to fall out of the category of grandparents who wish to be the ones who get to decide on the name of a baby, but she fits into the category of those who think it’s okay to risk her pregnant daughter’s health in addition to putting some extreme emotional pressure on her for not deciding on her baby name in a time framework that she for some reason has given her. Apart from the time frame for choosing a name not being the grandmother’s business, the baby not being due for another 7 weeks makes the woman’s outburst even more out of place.
No wonder this woman called her grandfather to pick her up, borrowing someone else’s phone as she didn’t have her phone with her and refused to get in her mom’s vehicle when she suggested driving her after the fact. However, the woman’s mother claimed her daughter was overreacting, even though the mother herself seems to fit such a description much better in addition to being irresponsible and overbearing.
The pregnant woman borrowed a cell phone and called her grandfather to pick her up
Image credits: Pretty Poo Eater (not the actual photo)
The woman's mother suggested driving her back, but she claimed her mother was crazy to think she was getting into her vehicle
Susan Adcox listed the naming process among the areas where grandparents should be practicing observing boundaries while sharing the happy news of the imminent arrival of a newborn. In her article “8 Times grandparents don’t get to choose”, the author notes that while choosing a name for one’s baby is a treasured rite, it is also stressful and grandparents should avoid pushing it to the limit in various ways and making it even more nervewracking than it already is.
Looking at the issue from a wider perspective, the study of Lucy Rose Fischer’s “Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship” can be brought up. Fischer distinguished the daughter’s transition to motherhood as one of the major periods of transition in a mother-daughter relationship among others, which also included marriage and the mother’s old age and infirmity. The scholar follows Colin Murray Parkes, claiming that these periods can be called transitional, as they bring a more or less sudden “major change in state”, for a mother and a daughter alike, as well as their relationship.
The author explains this transition of a mother-daughter relationship as a process of renegotiation and redefinition, which leads to them perceiving and interacting with each other in some new ways. Understanding the daughter’s motherhood as a transitional period in a mother-daughter relationship can help to foresee the possible psychological tensions and challenges that both women can experience during this time, and being aware and sensitive about it can make the best out of their relationship by providing each other with mutual support and understanding.
Redditors backed the woman as it was up to her to name the baby, while her mother's behavior was irresponsible
