![“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Mom I Won’t Help With Sister’s Wedding Prep After Giving Birth?”](https://img.boredpanda.com/unsafe/rs:fit:3840:0/q:80/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGF0aWMuYm9yZWRwYW5kYS5jb20vYmxvZy93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAyNS8wMS9yZWZ1c2luZy1oZWxwLXByZXBhcmluZy13ZWRkaW5nLWJhYnktY292ZXJfNjc1LmpwZw.webp)
Ah, maternity leave—the mythical time when new moms can supposedly lounge around, snuggle their baby, and sleep in spades. However, in the eyes of some family members, it’s a perfect chance to become an unpaid wedding planner.
And that was the situation today's Original Poster (OP) found herself in—in a battle of priorities when her mother insisted she take on wedding prep duties right after giving birth. Because, apparently, cutting out paper hearts is a top-tier postpartum activity.
More info: Reddit
The postpartum period can be so draining, and every other thing just takes a back seat
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author was eight months pregnant but managed to perform all her maid of honor duties for her sister's wedding planning
Image credits: pax_et_veritas
Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her mom kept hinting that even after the baby was born, she would still be helping out with the wedding plans
Image credits: pax_et_veritas
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She tried to explain to her mom that she would be too busy with the baby to continue helping out
Image credits: pax_et_veritas
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her mom insisted that she should still be able to squeeze in some time when the baby napped
Image credits: pax_et_veritas
However, when the author maintained that she wouldn't be able to help, her mother started to guilt-trip her
As the maid of honor for her sister’s upcoming September wedding, the OP had already gone above and beyond in organizing the bridesmaids, managing dress fittings, and planning a bachelorette weekend while eight months pregnant. But her mom still expected her to continue helping even after she gave birth.
Her parents initially agreed to help out after the baby was born, which seemed like a much-needed relief. But then, her mom casually mentioned that she’d be bringing wedding crafts for her to work on once she was out of the hospital. The OP brushed it off at first, assuming she’d understand how exhausting caring for a newborn would be.
But when the request came up again—at 39 weeks pregnant—she realized her mom wasn't backing down. The OP decided there and then that she would be too busy with her newborn to be able to keep helping with the wedding planning. Her mother, in turn, told her that when the baby fell asleep, she could always help.
Exhausted and out of patience, she told her mother exactly how little free time she’d have—between sleeping, baby care, and managing her home. Instead of understanding, her mother guilt-tripped her, claiming her grandparents would also be helping. It wasn't that she was unwilling to help—she even pointed out that if they had given her wedding tasks before the baby arrived, she would have gladly done them.
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to The Mother Chapter, life with a newborn is a huge adjustment, often leaving parents exhausted and overwhelmed. Between sleepless nights, recovery, and new responsibilities, many things take a back seat. This is why taking on extra tasks—like planning a wedding—right after childbirth can feel completely unrealistic.
This is why the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists emphasizes that postpartum care is just as important as prenatal care, as complications can still arise. A strong support system of family, friends, and healthcare professionals is essential for a new mother’s recovery and well-being.
Having help is crucial during this period. This is why postpartum support should focus on assisting the OP, not adding extra responsibilities like wedding tasks, which can add unnecessary stress during an already demanding time.
Mom Therapy Chicago suggests setting boundaries is very important, especially with one’s own parents, if they tend to be overbearing. However, they acknowledge that this is a challenge for new moms. While their intentions may be good, new moms don’t have to agree to every visit or piece of advice. Clear communication is key, and there’s no need to justify every decision either.
Netizens emphasized that postpartum recovery is an intense period that requires a lot of rest and focus on the baby. Many stressed that maternity leave is realistically not a vacation but a time for healing, adjusting, and simply surviving those early weeks.
Others called out her mother’s lack of empathy and advised the OP to set firmer boundaries.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the new mom should have set even firmer boundaries, or was her response reasonable?
Netizens suggested that the author rethink her mother’s visit altogether, given her disregard for her daughter's postpartum needs
