Child Gets Completely Excluded From Family Trips After Her Excessive Food Demands Frustrate Aunt

Being an aunt or an uncle is great – you get to spend time with the little ones, but not necessarily 24/7. However, only having them for brief periods of time often, too, comes with a set of challenges.

For this redditor, it was the tantrums of her brother’s stepdaughter that made spending time with her difficult. To make matters worse, the situation made the girl’s mother throw a tantrum of her own, leaving her husband—the OP’s brother—in the middle of all the mess. Scroll down to find the full story below.

Being an aunt or an uncle is a unique role – you love your sibling’s child with all your heart, but you are also happy to bring them home to their parents once aunty/uncle-nephew/niece time is over. You are also happy to see them during holidays or get togethers, but relieved at the same time, that you don’t have to care for the little hell raiser 24/7.

Talking about the role a parent’s sibling plays, Robert M. Milardo, author of the book The Forgotten Kin: Aunts and Uncles, noted that “Aunts and uncles complement the work of parents, sometimes act as second parents, and sometimes form entirely unique brands of intimacy grounded in a lifetime of shared experiences.” But whether it’s complementing the parents’ work or developing an entirely separate relationship, a child having an aunt or an uncle that cares for them ought to be a positive influence in their lives.

One way for aunts and uncles to be a positive influence in the child’s life is being there for their nieces and nephews. As the parent’s sibling, they get a second row ticket to watch the little one go through different stages of their lives. And while that mostly means going “awww” whenever the kid does anything as a baby, later in life it might entail more than that – the child might need advice or a helping hand from an adult that is not their parent.

Writing for the HuffPost, licensed psychotherapist and family therapist, author of Parenting With Presence, Susan Stiffelman emphasized that when the going gets tough, youngsters often need the counsel of wise adults, and there are a few things people can do to become that trusted confidante to their nieces and nephews.

Firstly, you should spend some time trying to get to know your nieces and nephews. “Even if they seem busy, most kids (heck, most adults!) find it enormously flattering when someone shows interest in getting to know them better,” Stiffelman wrote.

Secondly, make sure to stay in touch, whether it’s Facebook, phones, or email that you use to do that. “Let your nieces and nephews know that you're thinking of them. It can make a world of difference to a youngster to know that a beloved aunt or uncle cares enough to send a ‘Hi, how ya doing?’ text message,” the expert noted. “You'll never know if your thoughts of kindness might arrive just as they're dealing with something difficult.”

Last but not least, offer the youngster help with school work, if you have expertise in the area they might need help with. “Let them know you'd love to give them a hand. Better yet, combine an afternoon of tutoring with a meal that the two of you cook up together and you will have created a memorable experience that will nourish them physically, emotionally, and intellectually,” Stiffelman suggested.

One thing that connects all of the above is trustworthiness, which, according to the expert, is a key element in forming close aunt/uncle-nephew/niece relationships. But it’s evident that what such a relationship can’t do without is effort, time, and attention, all of which the OP would try to give to all of her siblings’ children on their get-togethers. However, spending time with her brother’s daughter has become too difficult—and wasteful—to continue, which is why the redditor put an end to their outings. Most netizens didn’t think that made her a jerk, in this situation.