Going to the dentist can be a painful affair. First, you have to put up with the physical discomfort, then you’re slammed with the bill. So, it’s understandable that, once you’ve found a good dentist that charges a reasonable fee, you tend to stick with them.
For one dentist dad, though, he was in for a shock when his ex decided to take their son to a different dentist for a routine procedure he could have done himself. To make matters worse, the ex then produced the bill, expecting the surprised man to pay half.
More info: Reddit
When the couple were married, this dentist dad did all his son’s dental work
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
After the couple separated, they shared joint custody of their son and split all his bills 50/50
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Ex took son to different dentist for routine procedure dad could have done himself, then sent him the bill
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Man asked ex if there had been some sort of emergency, but she said it was just more convenient for her at the time
Image credits: TAnyrhf
Dentist dad complained it was an absurd expense, and could have been done literally for free by him
OP starts their story by telling the community that he and his ex-wife have a six-year-old son and, while not having the healthiest co-parenting relationship and making it a point to avoid each other, they still share custody and split all of their son’s bills 50/50.
He also lets the readers know that he’s a dentist by trade, and, until the separation, had always done all his son’s dental work. OP then goes on to say that his ex recently sent him a dentist bill, and expected him to pay his usual half.
OP was shocked at first, wanting to know if there had been some sort of emergency which led to his ex going to another dentist. As it turns out, it was an entirely routine dental procedure that OP could have done himself at no cost at all.
His ex’s reasoning was that she was with her son at the time, and it was just a more convenient arrangement for her to see another dentist. OP says when he questioned her about it, she snapped and demanded his half of the bill.
OP told her he’d see about it and shared with the readers that he’d always pay for his son’s bills, particularly medical, but that he didn’t see the point in her going elsewhere when he could have done it for nothing.
OP’s ex wasn’t happy with his response, saying that this was an expense that they had agreed to share and that she wasn't obligated to use him as the family’s dentist.
While OP says they do have an agreement to split all costs 50/50, he considers this expense absurd, since it wasn’t any kind of emergency, and he could have dealt with it himself. He ended up turning to Reddit to ask if he's being a jerk for not wanting to pay his half.
From OP’s post, it does seem as though his ex-wife could be being petty just to spite him. She was well aware that OP could have performed the simple procedure at no cost but went out of her way to incur an unnecessary expense. In short, she’s being a difficult ex-spouse.
Image credits: Budgeron Bach (not the actual photo)
Dentist dad turned to Reddit to ask if he was being a jerk for considering letting his wife pay the bill, since she could afford it
A difficult ex-spouse can be toxic to good co-parenting and jeopardize the wellbeing of any children involved by creating drama where there isn’t any. They crave control and attention and could be in the habit of manipulating people and situations to cast their non-toxic spouse in a bad light.
In her article for Choosing Therapy, Kaytee Gillis says, as tricky as it may be, working to amicably co-parent with a toxic ex will be best for everyone involved.
Positive co-parenting can assist children in feeling safe and secure. By not exposing them to constant conflict, the children will feel less upheaval after a divorce, which is confusing for them in itself.
Gillis goes on to say, by removing children from a toxic situation, ex-spouses can create an environment for them to focus on age-appropriate things critical to their natural development.
Parents who work as a team to put their children’s needs first will reap the benefits in kids who feel loved, supported, and important. This is crucial to help them recover and better manage any negative emotions they may be feeling after the separation.
Gillis adds that, while it may seem daunting at times, there are steps a divorcee can take to minimize some of the stress of co-parenting with a toxic ex. She suggests setting realistic boundaries, prioritizing self-care, modeling positive behavior (especially in front of your kids), and building a strong support network.
Further, Gillis recommends not badmouthing your ex, following court orders to the T, being consistent (children crave consistency), eliminating unnecessary communication, using court-recommended apps to communicate, and taking the time to really consider a message before you send it.
So, it seems by being parents first and divorcees second, you’ll be doing the best for your kids, and that’s what matters most.
What do you think of OP’s situation? Do you think he should shell out for the dentist bill, or leave his ex to pay for an expense she caused? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Most Redditors who weighed in agreed that the dentist dad’s ex was just being spiteful and petty
