“Always Had A Taste For Macabre”: Mothers Crushed After Daughters Reveal Their Wedding Theme

And while one couple has decided they’re going to shirk expectations and plan a wedding according to their own unique interests, the brides’ mothers have had trouble expressing support. Below, you’ll find the full story that one of the brides shared on Reddit, as well as conversations with wedding experts Claudia Sokolova, Suki Lanh of Offbeat Wed, and Valentina Ring of The Stars Inside.

According to Suki Lanh, assistant editor at Offbeat Wed, a family’s involvement and advice should be dependent on however much the marriers are willing to accept. "What it comes down to is the marriers’ values and boundaries," she explained. "Whether or not your family has agreed to pay for your wedding, it’s certainly not fun to feel like your agency and voice have been taken away. Especially on a day that’s about celebrating your love!"

International wedding planner Valentina Ring, of The Stars Inside, also weighed in on the topic, noting that it should ultimately be the couple's decision how much their loved ones are involved. "Some couples very much enjoy having their parents be a part of the process, or perhaps planning alongside close friends or other dear family members; others find that the emotional highs and lows of the planning journey actually exacerbate tensions between them and their family or friends, especially where money is involved," she explained.

"The bottom line is that every couple's wedding should align with their own priorities, nobody else's, and every single bride or groom out there is owed the freedom to decide what is genuinely right for them," Valentina continued. "What they invest in, how they choose to host their guests, which traditions they want to pay homage to - all of this is theirs, and theirs alone. There is no right or wrong, there is no rulebook, and there is no 'should' when it comes to wedding planning."

Valentina added that sometimes well-intentioned parents pressure their children so much that they cause immense anxiety. Their idea of what a wedding "should be" may be outdated or may not embody the values that the couple wants to live and celebrate by. "If that is the case, couples should feel empowered to take their own path, while of course still letting their family know how loved and appreciated they are," Valentina says.

Suki also says she's very familiar with dark wedding themes. "And they’re all GORGEOUS," she told Bored Panda. "The folks who read the Offbeat Wed blog come to us because they love all things nontraditional. We accept reader wedding submissions, and I wholeheartedly believe our readers are the most creative people in the game!”

“Offbeat Wed readers have done black wedding dresses, macabre themes, goth weddings, Halloween weddings, Pagan weddings, Satanic weddings,” Suki continued. “The ‘dark’ wedding themes are endless at the Offbeat Wed blog! We recently had a witchy handfasting where two marriers included ‘vulture culture,’ a hobby that includes collecting animal bones. As a wedding gift, a friend gifted them a dead coyote that had been hit by a car. The couple buried it, and dug it up again on their first anniversary.”

Valentina also says that colored dresses definitely have a place in bridal attire and groomswear, noting that it's actually becoming rare for couples to opt for the traditionally assigned male and female outfits. "White dresses are still prevalent of course, but even brides that choose these will often opt for accessories or an evening dress that is more playful, and maybe show off their style even more," the expert explained.

"Internationally renowned bridal designers like Vera Wang, Leanne Marshall, David’s Bridal, Galia Lahav, and Maggie Sottero, to name a few, have all showcased gorgeous black wedding gowns in their collections - and we've seen a number of celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker, Christine Quinn, and Chloë Sevigny all chose chic black dress for their nuptials," Valentina continued.

"As for the use of more alternative and less traditional themes like this one, just a few minutes spent on any of the best global wedding blogs will prove that there is a thriving and wonderfully diverse plethora of dark, dramatic, more atmospheric wedding content out there - and couples are loving it," the wedding planner continued. "Inspiration is being taken from favorite novels, TV shows, movies, paintings, and so much more, and couples are embracing every season, every theme, and every color palette under the sun."

We also asked the wedding experts what they would recommend for brides and grooms whose parents don’t approve of their chosen themes. “If your parents are the type of people to give you an ultimatum, that’s manipulative,” Claudia noted. “If they don’t like your choices, that’s their problem. It’s your day, you’re paying for it. If they don’t like it – they don’t have to be there.”

“I am a firm believer that you should stand your ground when it comes to stuff like this,” she continued. “If they’re going to throw a temper tantrum and worry about what the neighbors will think, maybe they shouldn’t come. If they don’t come over something so important to you, maybe your entire relationship should be evaluated. You deserve respect and love on your day. Not some estranged auntie in the corner giving you looks because your flowers weren’t her favorite color.”

While Valentina recognizes that situations like this can be difficult to navigate, she believes that the key to keeping relationships positive while wedding planning is to communicate openly and bravely, thus managing expectations from the start. "Whether it's a decor decision, a guestlist culling decision, and financial decision, or anything else that you might find yourself at odds about with family: you have every right to explain to them, as honestly as you can, why you are doing what you are doing," she told Bored Panda.

"For the most part, the advice they are forcing on you is coming from a good place, from wanting to be there for you, and wanting you to have the best possible day; which is why explaining to them that you are in fact doing what is right for you can help them understand," Valentina added. "Show them your enthusiasm for your choices - show them how blissfully, genuinely, and unashamedly happy your plans are making you. Let them hear, see, and feel how excited you are about making your wedding your own! Let them know that you're honored to have them in your life and by your side, and help them see that this love can take the form of accepting YOU for who you are, and your wedding for what it is. Anyone who loves you just wants you to do what is best for you, even if they're not great at showing it."

Valentina urges couples to never let someone else make them feel guilty about their wedding decisions. "It's understandable if you're feeling worried that your choice may be seen as 'selfish' - but it absolutely isn't. There is nothing selfish about wanting to spend the day you get married doing things you love with people you love, feeling fabulous and most authentically YOU," she shared. "Gently remind yourself of all the truths and reasons that led you to your decisions, let go of this burden, and enjoy every moment of having done what's right for you, for all the right reasons."