Healthy relationships take time to cultivate and require both people to honestly and openly communicate with each other, or else they might face many misunderstandings. This is especially true if one partner keeps secrets, even if they know it’s hurting the other person.
This is what a woman had been dealing with because her boyfriend kept using his insecurities as an excuse to break up with her at the same time every year. Eventually, she couldn’t deal with it anymore, but wondered if she should give him another chance.
More info: Reddit
Breakups are extremely painful and usually only happen when people feel they aren’t able to work through their relationship troubles
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she and her boyfriend had been together for five years and that their relationship was wonderful most of the time
Image credits: Ambreen / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The only problem the woman kept facing with her boyfriend was that, for the last three years, he kept breaking up with her every March, citing his fear of commitment
Image credits: iamastarsfish
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster’s boyfriend gave her the breakup speech yet again, she felt blindsided and asked folks for advice online
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Most people told the woman her boyfriend’s behavior was a red flag, so she ended the relationship, but later found out he had been cheating on her
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster realized that her boyfriend had probably been dating the other girl for a while, as he moved in with her after their breakup
Image credits: iamastarsfish
Even though ending things was painful, the poster felt happier and more confident in herself after doing it
The OP and her boyfriend had been together for five years, and regardless of how happy and good things seemed on the surface, they were definitely dealing with some issues. The main problem was how the man would keep breaking up with her at the same time every year and then plead with her to get back together a few months later.
Even though studies show that around 40-50% of exes tend to give their past connection another try, these kinds of on-and-off again relationships are usually quite toxic. The most common reason people try to give their ex another chance is usually because of lingering feelings rather than an actual, genuine, or healthy connection.
It seems like the man was doing just that because he kept bailing on the relationship due to his fear of commitment, but kept coming back because of his long-time bond with the OP. This type of situation might have worked for him, but it left the poster feeling hurt and blindsided every single time.
According to a relationship expert, these kinds of multiple breakups are not healthy and often a sign of deep-rooted problems in the relationship. It’s possible that one or both partners are making the same mistakes over and over again and are unable to break out of their negative patterns, just like the man was doing by giving in to his insecurities.
Image credits: Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Since the poster was feeling very confused about her relationship and unsure how to proceed due to her boyfriend’s behavior, she asked people online for advice. Many folks told her that asking to break up every year wasn’t normal and that it was a definite red flag that she should pay attention to.
It took a couple of months, but the OP decided to take a step back from her boyfriend and focus on herself because of how his actions were affecting her. Unfortunately, in the process, she discovered that he had been cheating on her because of how swiftly he moved in with someone else.
This obviously pained the poster, and she mentioned that her self-esteem took a big hit, which psychologists state happens after one finds out about infidelity. Around 60% of victims experience depression and emotional distress following their partner’s affair, which is why it’s so important to take care of oneself.
This is exactly what the woman did, and she found support in her friends and loved ones. Instead of wallowing in her misery, she put her energy into doing things she enjoyed and also spent time learning more about herself. Hopefully, this painful experience taught her how to recognize relationship red flags and also how to advocate for her own needs.
What are your thoughts about on-and-off again relationships, and do you think they ever work out? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
Folks were shocked by the man’s actions and urged the woman not to put up with his behavior anymore
