“As a species, humans are hardwired to seek connection. In the environment that we evolved in it was physically dangerous to be alone or isolated. Thus, humans seem to have evolved a drive or a need for connection,” Prof. Máire Ford told Bored Panda.
“When this need for connection or belonging is not met we experience all kinds of negative outcomes that motivate us to try to reconnect. For example, there has been a lot of attention lately on loneliness and its negative effects on psychological and physical health. When one experiences loneliness they experience a variety of aversive thoughts, feelings, and physiological responses. These can motivate an individual to seek connection in order to minimize or avoid loneliness and the associated unpleasant thoughts and feelings.”
“Individuals may seek relationships of varying levels of closeness in order to avoid loneliness,” Máire added. “More intimate relationships may be especially satisfying. A relationship with a significant other will be deeper with higher levels of interdependence and closeness than a more casual relationship.
“These relationships provide some special benefits that we do not get from the more casual ones. For example, with a significant other we can expect a certain level of responsivity to our needs. If we need support because we are going through a hard time we will typically find it easier to rely on those who are closest to us, such as our significant others, versus those with whom we have a more casual relationship.”
People with whom we have the closest relationships tend to also be the ones we demand the most attention from (hence all the memes about clingy girlfriends). Professor M. Ford expanded on why that is: “We know that we need to nurture our closest relationships because they are so important for the previously stated reasons related to responsivity and support. We are also more motivated to keep our partner around and to monitor their feelings for us; thus, we tend to try to seek attention from them as a sign of reassurance that they continue to hold us in high regard.”
The professor of psychology told Bored Panda that having a support person available provides us with a great degree of security and comfort. “This is part of the reason why it is difficult for couples to break up. You lose the person who you have learned to turn to in your darkest times and with whom you share your deepest secrets. It is unsettling to lose such an important source of security,” she pointed out.
And because of the negative feelings associated with loneliness, we often eventually start looking for a potential partner again. This might not be a new scheme of events; however, the way people search for their someone special has changed over the years. With the emergence of technology, the stories of people starting their happily ever after with a conversation in a bus stop are likely becoming increasingly rare. In a lot of cases, they have been replaced by endless swiping on a device until you see someone who you consider a potentially good match.
Pew Research Center’s 2022 survey on Americans’ experiences with online dating revealed that one-in-ten partnered adults—those who are married, living with a partner, or in a committed romantic relationship—have met their current romantic partner over a dating site or application. (Three-in-ten admit to having tried using them at least once.)
The survey also uncovered that Tinder is the most popular one of them all, followed by Match and Bumble. According to Cloudwards, the number of people using dating applications has been steadily growing over the last six years at least. It has increased from roughly 241 million worldwide in 2016 to 366 million in 2022, and it’s arguably safe to say that it won’t stop there.
Of course, not all stories nowadays start with swiping on dating apps; however, they have significantly changed the dating world over the last decade or so. For instance, created in 2012, Tinder has connected over 60 billion matches already and currently has roughly 75 million users looking to find their better half online.
Professor Máire Ford told Bored Panda that having a significant other can influence a person in many ways, but a healthy romantic relationship typically results in positive effects. “Generally, we see that relationships have beneficial effects on health and wellbeing. This is especially true for men; for example, married men have better health outcomes than single men. However, it is important to note that when we say that relationships confer benefits, we are talking about healthy relationships. Unhealthy or unsatisfying relationships can actually have detrimental effects.”
According to Insider, being in a healthy relationship can have numerous benefits, such as decreased levels of stress and risk of a heart attack, and reduced levels of cortisol, which is linked to better sleep. In addition to that, it can even create natural pain killers in your body and have a positive effect on your oxytocin level, which is why simply being around your partner can put you in a better mood.