Benneareux Phillip once said, “Make sure the lions you roll with aren't snakes in disguise.” In other words, choose your friends wisely, or simply cut them off. After all, sometimes friendships aren’t meant to last, but you can still look back and appreciate an era of your life with a friend while keeping them at arm’s length.
We’re not so sure that’s the case for our narrator today, though, since sometimes the drama makes it hard to look back fondly on the past. In this case, it’s the story of a user who turned to the internet to share her frustrations and ask for advice about the newest addition to her ladies’ hiking group — and how to handle the fact that she doesn’t want to spend time with her.
Read more: Mumsnet
Friendship can easily be one of the best parts of life, but at the same time, they can also be a source of anxiety
Image credits: user21829937 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The lady has a group of friends that all started hiking together over 6 years ago
Image credits: luis_molinero / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A new friend, “Susan,” joins the group but her rude and entitled behavior is driving the women apart
Image credits: gstockstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Afraid to use the group chat because of Susan, the woman is considering removing Susan from the group
Image credits: FierceForester90
Scared to come off as mean, the woman asked for people's opinion on how to approach the situation
Ending a friendship can be one of the most heart-wrenching yet liberating moments in someone’s life. This impasse is exactly what’s driving our original poster (OP), who turned to netizens to ask for advice about her hiking friend group and its newest and most problematic addition: “Susan.”
According to the OP, this group of ladies has been going on hiking trips for six years. They enjoy their time together so much that they continue to schedule hikes on a regular basis. However, a couple of years ago, Susan was invited by one of the women to join the activity, much to the OP’s chagrin. Unfortunately, Susan quickly proved herself to be quite disrespectful and entitled.
Aside from never helping with gas or paying for anything, the OP says Susan expects everyone to bend over backwards for her, while she doesn’t seem to have the same consideration to others. From never taking photos of anyone else to complaining when the group hangs out without her, her behavior, at least according to the OP, comes across as quite juvenile.
Because of this, the group has started avoiding making plans together just to keep from inviting Susan, which is taking a toll on the OP, who clearly cherished these hiking trips. So she turned to the internet to ask whether removing Susan from the group chat altogether would be too “mean,” or if she’s being unreasonable about the whole situation. It’s a tough call.
Image credits: dexondee / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, anything related to ending friendships can be quite a mental hurdle. While Susan and the other women don’t seem to be particularly close friends, their lives are still intertwined enough that cutting things off cold turkey would be difficult. According to psychologists at Forrest Talley Psychological Services, happiness sometimes requires leaving toxic friendships behind, and we couldn’t agree more.
These experts explain that one of the best ways to end a toxic friendship is to be upfront. They encourage people to tell their friend exactly which behaviors are bothering them and how the friendship is affecting them. This doesn’t necessarily mean giving the other person room to change. If you don’t want to continue the relationship, you can simply make it clear that you no longer wish to have them in your life.
Another approach is to simply let the friendship fizzle out. It’s a way to avoid direct confrontation while still setting clear boundaries by limiting responses. Per experts at BetterHelp, if you don’t end a toxic relationship, it can even go as far as affecting your physical health, affecting blood pressure and even worsen cardiovascular health from stress.
In the end, many of the replies echoed what the experts suggested. Some commenters advised the women to be honest and tell Susan the truth, while others suggested simply creating a new group chat without her. But what do you think the OP should do, Pandas? Let the friendship fade away, or be upfront about it? Let us know in the comments.
Netizens believe the group either needs to tell her how they feel, or simply create another group chat
