A weekend away with friends is one of the best times you can have, especially when you’ve known each other for a long time. You get to kick back and just enjoy each other’s company and, if you know each other well enough, you can drop your defenses and just be yourself.
For one woman who enjoyed some time away with her girlfriends from university days, though, the experience was soured by a case of petty theft. At first, she thought she’d misplaced her expensive new glasses but, after searching everywhere and checking with the Airbnb, her glasses showed up in a friend’s FB pic - on someone else’s face.
More info: mumsnet
Woman went away to a wedding with three friends from university days
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The four women stayed at an Airbnb for the long weekend away
Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
The woman had recently changed jobs, and was finally able to afford an expensive pair of reading glasses
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
When the woman got home, her glasses were missing, but later showed up on her friend’s face in a Facebook post
Image credits: FlexibleFi
The woman asked the friend to return the glasses, but the friend just said she’d bought the exact same pair, unlikely since she’d mentioned she was broke
OP starts her tale of woe by telling the community that she and a few old friends from university days were invited to a wedding, so they booked an Airbnb for the long weekend away.
She goes on to say that she recently got a new job and was finally able to splash out on a posh pair of mild prescription glasses, which she uses for reading and computer work. All three of her friends tried them on, but one of the friends, Rachel, remarked that they must have the same prescription since she could also read with them.
A few times during the weekend, Rachel used her glasses without asking, but OP didn’t think too much of it. The weekend was a blast, but when OP got home, she couldn’t find her new glasses anywhere. She looked everywhere, checked with the Airbnb and even messaged the friends she’d gone away with, but had no luck.
A couple days later, one of the friends from the weekend, Joanne, sent OP a screenshot from Facebook of Rachel perusing a menu - wearing what looked exactly like OP’s missing glasses. OP sent Rachel the screenshot, asking her to please return the glasses, but Rachel just replied that she’d bought the same pair since she’d liked them so much.
OP found this unlikely, since Rachel had mentioned on the weekend away that she was strapped for cash. OP says she has a holiday planned and can’t afford to shell out the £300 for a new pair, so she’ll have to order a cheap pair online. She’s since turned to mumsnet to ask the community what they would do if they were in her shoes.
Image credits: benzoix (not the actual photo)
From what OP tells the readers in her post, it certainly seems as if Rachel’s being dishonest with her. Dishonesty can wreak havoc in any relationship, and is best dealt with swiftly, before things become a tangle of lies.
Firstly, he suggests getting to grips with the impact their dishonesty has had on you. By understanding the effect of whatever dishonest behavior you experience, you can measure the reach of both the tangible and intangible damage. By uncovering these real impacts, you can plan a course of action that matches the foul.
Second, Edinger recommends confronting the behavior, not the person. When handling a transgression of nearly any sort, it’s always best to focus on the situation or behavior, rather than the person. It’s way more effective than the far more personal “You are a liar and a thief”.
Third, Edinger writes that you should take action to address the negative impact the dishonesty has had on you. He suggests avoiding the knee-jerk reaction to take immediate action in favor of slowing down, standing up for what you believe in, and responding with action that is most fitting to the dishonest act.
Finally, he suggests moving forward and putting the situation behind you, ideally as soon as you can. Edinger puts the notion forward that, when you’re the victim of dishonesty, it’s all too easy to obsess about the problem and get emotionally attached to it.
By assessing the impact, confronting the behavior, and taking appropriate action, you can wrestle back some of your power over the situation and ultimately get over it.
What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes? Do you think she should let it go, or resort to getting the law involved? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Commenters on mumsnet seemed to agree that the ‘friend’ is a thief, with some even suggesting the woman get the police involved
