Most people will do anything they can to avoid a trip to the emergency room. If they need stitches, they’ll insist the injury was just a scratch. And if they have a broken bone, they’ll claim that they just need to walk it off. But there’s a separate subset of people who seem eager to ride in an ambulance for some incomprehensible reason…
Emergency room workers have been recalling the most bizarre and ridiculous reasons why patients have come in, so we’ve gathered their most amusing stories below. From patients who were perfectly healthy to those who made idiotic decisions that led to health complications, these stories are all over the place. But we hope you get a laugh out of them, pandas, and be sure to upvote the ones that you can’t believe are true!
#1
Patient came into our ER with obvious anaphylaxis, swollen everywhere, but suspiciously had huge and very tight but swollen lips and blood spots on her forehead.
She claimed in triage that she ate a can of Progresso soup from Costco and it must have had botulism. Doc orders Benadryl while we draw blood, start a line. All of a sudden, patients lips swell further and becomes tacky at 192. EKG abnormal. I could barely get the oxygen mask over her lips. HR erratic. Doc comes back to give Epi and stabilize HR, questions patient about substances other than Progresso soup. Patient now seems nervous… insists she only ate the soup, is asking for her daughter.
I tell the Doc, I think this woman injected something all over her face, this isn’t from food poisoning. He agrees but says let’s wait for the bloodwork, we can’t accuse her obviously. We are monitoring the HR, but her face keeps beading drops of blood. I give her a towel and some privacy, knowing she’s lying. Patient seems to calm down, but facial swelling remains. Again, asks if her daughter was there yet. I said no, do you want us to call her? She says no, and if she comes, please don’t let her see me like this.
Doc comes back, after running into daughter outside the room ( we previously were looking for her, so he didn’t know she wasn’t wanted). Daughter comes into to the room, takes one look at mom and starts yelling “I told you not to go to that Botox party! That woman said she gave you over 26 botox injections plus she put filler in your lips! So and so passed out and you are here now, what the HELL, Mom!”
Patient was admitted to CCU for botulism poisoning- from multiple injections done by a non medical professional, and for an infection in her upper lip from filler that was unsafe and injected with an improper needle. She spent 4 days in the unit before discharge.
She claimed in triage that she ate a can of Progresso soup from Costco and it must have had botulism. Doc orders Benadryl while we draw blood, start a line. All of a sudden, patients lips swell further and becomes tacky at 192. EKG abnormal. I could barely get the oxygen mask over her lips. HR erratic. Doc comes back to give Epi and stabilize HR, questions patient about substances other than Progresso soup. Patient now seems nervous… insists she only ate the soup, is asking for her daughter.
I tell the Doc, I think this woman injected something all over her face, this isn’t from food poisoning. He agrees but says let’s wait for the bloodwork, we can’t accuse her obviously. We are monitoring the HR, but her face keeps beading drops of blood. I give her a towel and some privacy, knowing she’s lying. Patient seems to calm down, but facial swelling remains. Again, asks if her daughter was there yet. I said no, do you want us to call her? She says no, and if she comes, please don’t let her see me like this.
Doc comes back, after running into daughter outside the room ( we previously were looking for her, so he didn’t know she wasn’t wanted). Daughter comes into to the room, takes one look at mom and starts yelling “I told you not to go to that Botox party! That woman said she gave you over 26 botox injections plus she put filler in your lips! So and so passed out and you are here now, what the HELL, Mom!”
Patient was admitted to CCU for botulism poisoning- from multiple injections done by a non medical professional, and for an infection in her upper lip from filler that was unsafe and injected with an improper needle. She spent 4 days in the unit before discharge.
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41points
#3
Not ER, but L&D triage. Patient is late preterm and an OR nurse at our hospital. She comes to L&D saying she’s bleeding. We immediately take her back, go into a triage room.
Ask her the other emergency questions and she responds negatively. I ask how much she’s been bleeding. She says quite a bit but it seems to be slowing down. I ask her to undress from the waist down and give her a pad to sit on. The patient looks confused and says, “why do I have to do that?” I explain to her it’s to see how much bleeding is on the pad and she finally says, “I’m not bleeding from ‘down there!’ It’s my nose. Here’s all my tissues.”
She then pulls out a few tissues with spots of blood on them and I’m literally standing there trying not to laugh that this girl came to L&D triage for a nose bleed. The worst part was that she was also a nurse!!!🤦🏻♀️.
Ask her the other emergency questions and she responds negatively. I ask how much she’s been bleeding. She says quite a bit but it seems to be slowing down. I ask her to undress from the waist down and give her a pad to sit on. The patient looks confused and says, “why do I have to do that?” I explain to her it’s to see how much bleeding is on the pad and she finally says, “I’m not bleeding from ‘down there!’ It’s my nose. Here’s all my tissues.”
She then pulls out a few tissues with spots of blood on them and I’m literally standing there trying not to laugh that this girl came to L&D triage for a nose bleed. The worst part was that she was also a nurse!!!🤦🏻♀️.
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32points
#4
A mother and daughter came in together. Mom for a pregnancy test, daughter because she was having a miscarriage.
During the assessment questions daughter was asked why she thought she was having a miscarriage. She stated she had started bleeding. She was asked when her last menstrual cycle was and she said something that amounted to about 4 weeks prior. Pelvic exam and pregnancy test were done. Congratulations, you got your period. Discharged.
During the assessment for mom she was asked why she thought she was pregnant. She said she had a positive pregnancy test. Congratulations, you’re pregnant. Discharged.
During the assessment questions daughter was asked why she thought she was having a miscarriage. She stated she had started bleeding. She was asked when her last menstrual cycle was and she said something that amounted to about 4 weeks prior. Pelvic exam and pregnancy test were done. Congratulations, you got your period. Discharged.
During the assessment for mom she was asked why she thought she was pregnant. She said she had a positive pregnancy test. Congratulations, you’re pregnant. Discharged.
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30points
#5
A man came to triage holding a Dunkin’ Donuts bag and demanded we test a sandwich for poison. He said that he ate the sandwich from there twice in the last month and both times he got sick (stomach ache, nausea). He was convinced the store was poisoning his food. So he went back and bought another sandwich as “evidence.” To be clear, he was not sick that day, he had last eaten the sandwich days before.
I tried to explain to him that we are not a CSI lab and cannot test miscellaneous objects for poison, and there’s not much we can do for him if he isn’t sick today. He insisted on getting triaged anyway. He waited hours for a doctor to tell him the same thing, and that if the same sandwich keeps making him sick then he should probably just not eat that sandwich. He stormed out cursing at all of us.
Edit: He had no other signs of mental illness, and you can’t force someone to get a psych eval just because they believe something weird.
I tried to explain to him that we are not a CSI lab and cannot test miscellaneous objects for poison, and there’s not much we can do for him if he isn’t sick today. He insisted on getting triaged anyway. He waited hours for a doctor to tell him the same thing, and that if the same sandwich keeps making him sick then he should probably just not eat that sandwich. He stormed out cursing at all of us.
Edit: He had no other signs of mental illness, and you can’t force someone to get a psych eval just because they believe something weird.
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26points
#6
Bit by pet baby alligator. Brought alligator with him. Wanted it tested for rabies.
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26points
#7
"I won't tell you! Why do you keep asking these questions! Leave me alone".
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26points
#8
Came in because a cup hit him in the face…3 years ago.
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25points
#9
I brought one into the ER as an EMT.
Guy calls 911 and we get the cole’s notes version.
Guys heart stopped. Alright. Let’s go boys. Lights and sirens.
Another chime. “I was taking my pulse, and then all of a sudden, my heart stopped. I couldn’t feel my pulse so I’m calling.”
Not chancing it. Still coming in hot.
Get there. Dude in his early 20’s. Sitting upright. Looks very restless. I start doing a medical history.
Overweight. Heavy smoker. Heavy drinker. Zero exercise. Poor diet. Hook him up to the 12 lead. To no one’s surprise, normal sinus. So I tell the guy. Your heart doesn’t stop because you can’t feel a pulse. What do you want to do with this?
Demands hospital. I explain why it might not be needed in this situation but we can if he’s cautious. We agree and take him. This was the first call of the day.
He was in the waiting room for the rest of my shift until the last call of the day when I asked the triage nurse “what happened to the guy whose heart stopped? He finally go in to see someone?”
“He complained every 30 minutes and eventually just left. Nothing wrong with him.”.
Guy calls 911 and we get the cole’s notes version.
Guys heart stopped. Alright. Let’s go boys. Lights and sirens.
Another chime. “I was taking my pulse, and then all of a sudden, my heart stopped. I couldn’t feel my pulse so I’m calling.”
Not chancing it. Still coming in hot.
Get there. Dude in his early 20’s. Sitting upright. Looks very restless. I start doing a medical history.
Overweight. Heavy smoker. Heavy drinker. Zero exercise. Poor diet. Hook him up to the 12 lead. To no one’s surprise, normal sinus. So I tell the guy. Your heart doesn’t stop because you can’t feel a pulse. What do you want to do with this?
Demands hospital. I explain why it might not be needed in this situation but we can if he’s cautious. We agree and take him. This was the first call of the day.
He was in the waiting room for the rest of my shift until the last call of the day when I asked the triage nurse “what happened to the guy whose heart stopped? He finally go in to see someone?”
“He complained every 30 minutes and eventually just left. Nothing wrong with him.”.
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24points
#10
I was in my intern year of psych residency and on my EM rotation. Around 3am one weeknight a woman in her 50s/60s came in to be seen with a chief complaint of "finger pain" in one of her pinky fingers. When I went to see her she admitted that the finger didn't hurt, but she wasn't sure how to describe the problem to the triage nurse. She described mild episodes of a couple seconds to a couple minutes in length where "my finger just kind of itches, not bad or anything, just something I noticed." She reported that it came up randomly "a couple times a year maybe," and had been happening for about 20-30 years. She denied any other symptoms accompanying the 30 seconds of mild itching on her pinky finger a couple times a year- being an intern I wanted to be thorough and avoid missing something because the chief complaint sounded ridiculous, so I did a thorough interview and exam- all normal. She admitted that the itchiness wasn't currently happening and hadn't happened in several months. She had a PCP that she saw a couple times a year.
When I asked her what made her come in to the ED now about this issue, she stated that she was up watching TV, was reminded of the episodes, and "I wasn't doing anything, and thought I might as well get it checked out." She was somewhat upset when my attending and I explained to her that given that nothing was currently happening and there was no emergency, she would be discharged to follow up with her PCP. She asked about getting an MRI and full Neuro workup, and asked how we could discharge her without figuring out the root of the episodes. I explained to her that the purpose of the ED is to assess for and treat emergencies, but she argued that because we weren't super busy at the moment we should have at least tried to investigate. .
When I asked her what made her come in to the ED now about this issue, she stated that she was up watching TV, was reminded of the episodes, and "I wasn't doing anything, and thought I might as well get it checked out." She was somewhat upset when my attending and I explained to her that given that nothing was currently happening and there was no emergency, she would be discharged to follow up with her PCP. She asked about getting an MRI and full Neuro workup, and asked how we could discharge her without figuring out the root of the episodes. I explained to her that the purpose of the ED is to assess for and treat emergencies, but she argued that because we weren't super busy at the moment we should have at least tried to investigate. .
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24points
#11
Dry hands. During winter. One of the nurses was kind enough to give him a small pump of hand moisturiser and sent him off to a shop.
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23points
#12
He wasn’t my patient but I saw in the ER tracking board that he came in for chapped lips.
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23points
#13
Sore throat for an hour. In a huge Ed with a 4 hour wait. She came up to triage to complain that I hadn’t even offered her a cough drop 🫠.
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23points
#14
Paramedic but:
"I was at the hospital last night and forgot my wallet so I want a ride back to pick it up"
"I was diagnosed with strep yesterday and my throat still hurts"
"I was diagnosed with pneumonia, haven't started my antibiotics, and I'm still sick"
"I've had gastro for 3 hours and still feel sick".
"I was at the hospital last night and forgot my wallet so I want a ride back to pick it up"
"I was diagnosed with strep yesterday and my throat still hurts"
"I was diagnosed with pneumonia, haven't started my antibiotics, and I'm still sick"
"I've had gastro for 3 hours and still feel sick".
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22points
#15
New parents take their babies into the ER for all sorts of stupid reasons - which actually puts them at risk for contracting dangerous illnesses. BUT that baby made a weird sound, or it ate bananas for the first time and had a weird poop, or it sneezed and cried so it must have hurt itself, maybe it hasn't peed in 3 hours or its toes look a little red - ERs see a lot of newborns and end up telling a lot of new parents to go home and get some rest.
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21points
#16
Too many to count but recently a guy who was bit by a dog last year and had gotten 3 rounds of rabies shots, came in because he felt that he needed to do another 3 rounds of rabies shots. No new dog bite.
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21points
#17
A woman thought she had a wart inside of her nose. She decided to put a Dr.Scholl’s wart pad in her nose to treat it. She went to sleep and woke up and couldn’t find the wart pad. She made herself vomit in case she swallowed it. She still didn’t see it. She wanted us to look in her lungs for it.
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21points
#18
Hungry and had not eaten for 12 hours
A teenage girl with a very small pimple x 3 days
“I’m cold”
Elementary aged child “might have gotten hit on the head with a pebble on the playground”. No KO, no marks, no swelling. Mom insisted the child be taken by ambulance to the ER for evaluation. Nearest pediatric ER was a 45 minute + drive in traffic. Mom followed ambulance to the hospital in personal vehicle. ER waiting room was wall to wall full of patients waiting to be seen. Get child checked in and told the mom it might be a few hours before her child is seen. She left with the child.
A teenage girl with a very small pimple x 3 days
“I’m cold”
Elementary aged child “might have gotten hit on the head with a pebble on the playground”. No KO, no marks, no swelling. Mom insisted the child be taken by ambulance to the ER for evaluation. Nearest pediatric ER was a 45 minute + drive in traffic. Mom followed ambulance to the hospital in personal vehicle. ER waiting room was wall to wall full of patients waiting to be seen. Get child checked in and told the mom it might be a few hours before her child is seen. She left with the child.
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20points
#19
Scratch on forehead. Wanted me to call plastics from our sister hospital to urgently assess her.
I told her not a chance. It was so superficial it would be gone in a couple days. She hit the roof so I put a very special scar preventing wound dressing (wink wink) on her less than a paper cut scratch and she walked out all smug and happy.
I told her not a chance. It was so superficial it would be gone in a couple days. She hit the roof so I put a very special scar preventing wound dressing (wink wink) on her less than a paper cut scratch and she walked out all smug and happy.
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20points
#20
Not a worker but had a kidney specialist send me to the ER to run labs to make sure that my kidneys were still functioning properly. I asked office worker repeatedly why couldn't I just go to the lab at the hospital and they could send them the results and the office could contact me if I needed treatment. They insisted that I needed to go to the er because if something was wrong I could get treated right then. I asked does the doctor feel like something is wrong got told no but they want me to go to the ER to make sure. I went and waited 12 hours to get these stupid labs just to find out my kidneys were still fine. I apologized to the nurse and doctors repeatedly for wasting their time and resources over something this stupid. They said it happens all the time!
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20points