Caleb Shomo, the Beartooth frontman and former Attack Attack! vocalist, has come out as gay after more than 14 years of marriage to his wife, Fleur Shomo.
The 33-year-old musician shared the announcement on Instagram last Saturday (May 23), saying he felt forced to address growing public speculation about his personal life before it began affecting the people closest to him.
Highlights
- Beartooth frontman Caleb Shomo came out as gay after more than 14 years of marriage to Fleur Shomo.
- Caleb said he spent years privately wrestling with his orientation and linked that struggle to themes of self-loathing in his music.
- Fleur said she still wants to support Caleb but described the situation as painful and confusing.
“There’s been a lot of speculation surrounding my personal life as of late and I feel compelled to set the record straight before it affects those I love any further,” Caleb wrote.
“I am a proudly gay man.”
The announcement was followed by a separate statement from Fleur, 41, who described the past few months as “a very disorienting and hurtful time to navigate.”
Caleb Shomo came out as gay after 14 years of marriage to his wife, Fleur Shomo
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Fleur and Caleb married in April 2012 and do not share any children.
Caleb said his orientation was something he had been privately wrestling with for years before going public.
“This is something I’ve been unpacking and reckoning with in my life for quite some time now,” he wrote. “It’s been difficult to navigate the feelings surrounding the subject and figure out what to do with this fact.”
Image credits: beartoothband/Instagram
The musician connected that struggle to the darker emotional themes that have run through Beartooth’s music over the years.
“When it comes to my art / Beartooth, I have always strived to chase who I am in the deepest part of my soul from album to album,” he wrote.
He said fans who followed the band in its earlier years would know that several of the albums dealt with his religious upbringing, depression, self-hatred, self-loathing, and hopelessness.
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“I am grateful for all these albums, yet feel embarrassed at times that I wouldn’t allow myself to really dig up the roots for so long,” Caleb wrote.
The singer also said drinking had been part of the way he avoided confronting what he was feeling.
“I spent a decade burying feelings with alc*hol, and honestly when I decided to put it down and focus on exploring why I felt this way for so long, it’s been a direct path to me reconciling with my s**uality in hopes that it will eventually lead to me experiencing self love,” he wrote.
The musician said his music will continue to reflect the relationship he has with his identity and orientation
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Caleb said the realization will shape his upcoming work, adding that he has promised himself he will no longer dilute what he wants to express.
He said he made a vow to express himself “whole heartedly and fully” on Beartooth’s forthcoming album.
“Wherever it takes me I will follow and I refuse to water any part of it down, from the music, to the lyrical content, and the way I portray myself,” he wrote.
“I will only do what makes me happy at the deepest level and what is the most honest depiction of who I am.”
“I believe it’s impossible to love every part of you when you won’t face every part of you head on,” he continued. “I am trying to finally be proud of who I am and I think this is a massive part of that journey.”
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He ended his message by thanking those who had shown him love and support, while motivating others who are struggling with their identity to be honest with themselves.
“I encourage anyone who’s struggling with who they are to give yourself grace. Give yourself patience. Be honest with yourself,” Caleb wrote.
“Do the hard work instead of burying it down as deep as you physically can, thinking it will change like I did. Holding these things in only hurts you and those around you.
Love you all, and hopefully this is a step in the right direction to loving myself one day.”
Fleur said the situation has left her angry, broken, and confused, but still wanting to support her former partner
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Image credits: fleurshomo/Instagram
Fleur’s statement made clear that Caleb’s announcement also marks the end of a marriage she is still grieving.
The podcast co-host said the past few months had been painful for both of them, even as she continued to care deeply about Caleb’s well-being.
“But I will always want to love, protect and support Caleb. I have cared more about his well being over the years than anything else in the world,” she wrote.
Fleur said she had seen Caleb’s “confusion and pain” as he struggled with his orientation, but did not know how to help him through it.
Image credits calebshomo/Instagram
“You never want anything more for your person than for them to just be ok,” she wrote. “You also ask yourself constantly if you’re a bad person for wondering what this means for your world and the anger you also feel.”
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She described the situation as emotionally complicated because she wants to support Caleb while also losing the life they built together.
“I am the only person that is having to deal with the duality of this situation,” Fleur wrote. “To support him whilst losing everything has been incredibly hard to figure out.”
Image credits: fleurshomo/Instagram
“You can love and support your person through the hardest time in their life, whilst also being completely demolished and losing yourself at the same time,” she added.
“You question everything. But I have learned the one thing I don’t need to question is our history. No matter what anyone will say, I know it.”
In her statement, Fleur said their nearly 14 years of marriage had been “wonderful” and full of “fun, adventure & love.”
“Nobody will know anything about our marriage like we do,” she wrote. “And no one can ever truly know what depths of love exist between two people unless they are those people.”
"I really feel sorry for the wife," a fan wrote
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