Having a roommate can either be a blessing or a curse, depending on how kind and understanding the other person is. The problem is that it can be tough to deal with housemates who are entitled or allow their friends, relatives, or even partners to come over unannounced.
This is exactly what one woman kept facing because her flatmate had given her boyfriend a spare key to the place and allowed him to come over even when she was on vacation. This didn’t sit right with the woman, and she finally decided to confront her friend.
More info: Reddit
It can be hard to set boundaries with roommates, especially if they are good friends of yours
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she was best friends with her roommate, who kept inviting her boyfriend to stay over, even though they kept breaking up and making up
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was shocked when she got to know that her friend had also given the man a spare key and was letting him come over while she was away on vacation
Image credits: EmilyStock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster didn’t think it made sense for her roommate’s boyfriend to come over when she wasn’t there, so she firmly said no to the other woman
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After a little back and forth, the poster insulted her friend’s relationship, and they didn’t end up speaking for over a week
It seems like the OP’s friend kept inviting her boyfriend over right from the start, without consulting the poster at all. Even though they had an on-and-off-again relationship, she let him stay over without having to pay any rent at all, and later even gave him a spare key to the place.
In situations like this, experts state that it’s important for roommates to have an honest conversation about boundaries and their expectations. If one of them wants to have their partner or dates over, it’s essential that they figure out a schedule that works for both of them, rather than one individual always being inconvenienced.
In this case, the OP had to keep adjusting because of her friend’s partner coming over all the time. She didn’t make much of a fuss about it, but was shocked when she got to know that the man would also be coming to the house even when his girlfriend was away on a 12-day vacation.
According to lawyers, landlords often have a rule against anyone else occupying the flat if they haven’t been authorized under the lease. That’s why if a person is staying there without permission, like the boyfriend plans to do, the other tenant can actually take action and file a complaint against them.
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The poster felt uncomfortable with her roommate’s boyfriend just coming over uninvited during the 12 days that she was away, so she firmly told them both that it can’t happen. Unfortunately, this didn’t go down well with the other woman, who didn’t think that she was doing anything wrong.
It can definitely be tough to set boundaries with close friends or roommates, especially if you spend a lot of time together. That’s why professionals state that you should have this discussion as soon as possible and explain all the facts behind your decision to say no. This can help the other individual also understand your perspective and focus on a compromise.
The problem is that even when the poster was trying to be firm with her friend, the other woman just kept steamrolling her. She felt entitled to set whatever rules she liked and felt that there should be no problem at all for her boyfriend to be over, since he would just be in her room.
Luckily, the OP didn’t give in to her roommate’s demands and stuck to what felt right, but that ended up causing her pain because her friend didn’t speak to her for a week. Hopefully, they both are able to patch things up and figure out a system for the future that works better.
Who do you think was right in this situation? Do share your thoughts in the comments below, and if you have ever dealt with a bad flatmate.
Folks sided with the woman and gave her creative suggestions on how she could teach her roommate a lesson
