Ruby Rose has sparked a heated online debate after sharing private text messages she said were sent to her by Hayden Panettiere before the actress passed away at 36 on August 16.
The messages focused on Panettiere’s painful relationship with her estranged mother, Lesley Vogel, and showed just how deeply their problems still affected her.
Highlights
- Ruby Rose shared private messages between her and Hayden Panettiere, revealing the late actress’s painful feelings about her estranged mother.
- The screenshots sparked backlash, with critics calling Rose’s decision invasive.
- Rose had previously urged people not to judge Panettiere based on her mother’s account.
While Rose later deleted the chat screenshots, they went viral on social media.
Some people called her decision invasive and “repulsive,” while others said Rose was trying to defend Panettiere’s memory.
“The texts are heartbreaking, but Ruby Rose is repulsive for sharing a d*ad woman’s private messages just to get attention for herself,” wrote one commenter.
Ruby Rose shared her messages with Hayden Panettiere about the latter’s mom
The screenshots were posted on Threads after Vogel made public comments about her daughter’s passing. Rose said the messages were from Panettiere and showed the two women discussing their difficult relationships with their mothers.
In one exchange, Rose wrote about parents who “did not act or behave like mothers.” She explained why that could be especially painful.
“It’s an unnatural position to be placed in. Because they did not act or behave like mothers. So we are wounded from them, but the idea of a mother is still so powerful to us.”
Panettiere replied, “All of that lands.”
She then described how badly the situation with her mother had affected her.
“I was sobbing over her cruelty yesterday thinking, my god I’m 36, and she can still cause this kind of pain.”
Panettiere also questioned how her mother was handling the situation, writing, “I’m her only child left, and this is how she wants to handle the situation?!”
The late actress then admitted that, despite being 36, she felt like a frightened child.
“I think it will be empowering, but right now I feel like a child who wants to find a safe corner to hide in.”
Rose answered, “I know it will be empowering.”
According to several outlets, including Entertainment Weekly, the person in Rose’s screenshots was not independently verified or shown as Panettiere.
As soon as Rose shared screenshots online, online netizens began debating her motive
One person wrote, “Ruby is disgusting for posting,” while another called it “typical Ruby Rose behavior.”
A third said, “I don't trust her and Katy Perry because of the whole fiasco; however, you do need to understand she was putting a light into the relationship between Hayden and her mother.”
But others believed the chats served a purpose. One commenter said, “I don't think she was looking for attention, and think she wanted to show up Hayden's awful mom.”
Another agreed, writing, “It’s incredibly tacky, but on the other hand I do understand her not wanting Hayden's mother to rewrite history now that Hayden's not here to set the record straight.”
One more netizen defended Rose more strongly, saying, “The only people mad are the ones who never had a friend like that. If someone I loved di*d and their mom started lying on them, I'd leak everything too.”
Hayden Panettiere had already spoken about her painful relationship with her mother before
The screenshots did not come out of nowhere. Panettiere had spoken publicly about her complicated relationship with Vogel months before her passing.
Vogel was not only Panettiere’s mother. She also managed her daughter’s career when Panettiere was young.
In May 2026, Panettiere told Jay Shetty that she ended their professional relationship at 19 because she wanted a normal mother-daughter relationship.
“I just wanted her to be my mom.”
Panettiere recalled telling Vogel, “I don’t want us to work together anymore. I want you to be my mom.”
According to Panettiere, her mother responded, “You owe me.”
The actress said she later learned Vogel meant money. She described the realization as a “dark, looming cloud” over her.
Panettiere also said her mother did not pursue a relationship with her simply as her mother.
Panettiere also told US Weekly in May that she had been afraid of her mother from a young age. She said Vogel had been tough on her during auditions when she was only 4.
“I was so scared of her that approaching her and being honest about my feelings was not going to get me any positive reaction.”
Still, Panettiere had not completely closed the door.
“Unfortunately, we don’t have a relationship right now. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t leave the door open for the opportunity to present itself one day.”
She said she had chosen to be “brutally honest” about their relationship.
Panettiere also discussed her relationship with her mother in her memoir
Vogel strongly disputed Panettiere’s account. She accused her daughter of using the family conflict to help sell the book.
“The present drama is partially to sell books.”
Vogel also described what she called a pattern involving “control, entitlement, and a lack of empathy.”
She said she had eventually chosen to stop communicating with Panettiere after what she described as “20 years of trauma.”
“You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved.”
After Panettiere passed away, Vogel spoke about her and criticized her on-and-off boyfriend
Speaking to NBC News, Vogel said, “This person in her life that we have been trying to get rid of for quite some time was with her at her d*ath, and that was Brian Hickerson.”
She also said Panettiere had “lost her way.”
“I wish she had stayed true to herself because she had many incredible attributes.”
Vogel acknowledged that Panettiere was talented but said growing up in the entertainment industry could be difficult and that young people could “find the wrong path.”
On August 19, King reacted to Vogel’s statement, saying, “Thanks, Mom, for nothing.”
King had also interviewed Panettiere in May and said the actress was “clearly still struggling” at the time.
CBS Mornings co-anchor Vladimir Duthiers also defended Panettiere, pointing out that she had openly discussed her own struggles.
“Hayden Panettiere spent years publicly acknowledging her own failures, her own struggles.”
He added that Panettiere could no longer respond to the criticism and called the timing of Vogel’s comments “unseemly.”
Before screenshots, Rose had already warned people not to accept one version of Hayden’s story
Rose had spoken about Panettiere before sharing the private messages.
After Panettiere’s passing, Rose posted an emotional tribute. “Hayden, I am begging you. No. My friend, no! WHO do we call? What is happening?”
She later wrote that she had more to say and urged people to wait before judging what happened.
“Wait for all the information.”
Rose also specifically warned people, “Don’t take it from her estranged mother. Or any of her ab*sers.”
She said Panettiere had “worked too hard and come too far” and that she wanted more time to get things right, especially for Panettiere’s daughter, Kaya.
Rose has not publicly explained the full nature of her friendship with Panettiere,making her decision to share the texts harder for some people to understand.
"What an incredibly bizarre thing to do," wrote one netizen
