Restaurant Owner Ignores Bride’s Wishes And Forgets Her Allergy, Successfully Derailing Wedding

It’s no secret that wedding planning is a lot of work – unless you’re thinking of eloping, even a small ceremony will require taking care of quite a few tasks, not to mention a larger event.

One of the big things on the to-do list is food. That entails not only thinking about the meals you want to savor on your big day but finding the caterer, too, as well as making sure that they can accommodate any dietary restrictions your guests may have. For this redditor’s relative, it all became a huge headache, all because of a rude caterer who even managed to bring the bride to tears on her big day.

Scroll down for the details below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interviews with the OP as well as with Dan Pashman, the host of The Sporkful food podcast, inventor of the Cascatelli pasta shape, and author of the new cookbook Anything's Pastable.

Most couples want their big day to be perfect. By that, I don’t necessarily mean “fairytale-like grand wedding” perfect, but at least “I ordered and planned things and I expect them to happen (smoothly)” perfect. And that’s where the caterers and all the other service providers come into play.

Unfortunately for the couple in the OP’s story, the caterer they chose didn’t make their big day more special. On the contrary, they managed to bring the bride to tears on what should be one of the—if not the—happiest days of her life. That was because the happy couple decided to give them a chance, despite the caterer being somewhat troublesome from the beginning, and arguably came to regret it when the day came.

According to the OP—the fiancée of the bride’s brother—they did consider other restaurants; however, they were out of their budget. “The location they chose was also not far from the courthouse and had a lovely garden. The food was good, put aside the rudeness of the owner,” she told Bored Panda in a recent interview.

The woman continued to share that the bride was annoyed at the fact that she wasn’t served the dishes she tried during the tasting dinner because they randomly changed the recipe. “She was let down on a promise,” the redditor said.

Discussing the situation with Bored Panda, the host of The Sporkful food podcast, inventor of the Cascatelli pasta shape, and author of the new cookbook Anything's Pastable, Dan Pashman noted that it’s important to find a caterer who understands what you're looking for and who you can trust. “Some caterers who are accustomed to putting on big events may treat you like you are one of a million clients, and [like] they know best. But you are the customer and it's your event and you should work with someone who understands that at the end of the day, it's their job to create the event you want,” he said.

“If you keep making requests and you keep hearing ‘no,’ unless your requests are really out there, that's a red flag. Anyone in the hospitality business should always be trying to find a way to say ‘yes.’ And any caterer should be very comfortable dealing with food allergies, which are so common today.”

The expert continued to point out that caterers do have a lot of experience, and people do sometimes need a firm hand to help them make so many decisions. But in the end, it's the couple’s event. So if they feel strongly about certain ideas, they should insist on getting what they want—or work with someone else.

Whether it’s a Friday night in with friends or a corporate event, food tends to be an essential part of all sorts of get-togethers, not to mention a wedding. And for many people, including the OP and her family, it’s more than just sustenance. “Well, we’re Italians living in Italy, so I guess it’s really, really important as food is usually the center of the party,” the redditor told Bored Panda.

But even if it’s not much more than sustenance, food is something people think long and hard about before their wedding, as it’s not easy to find the right caterer, come up with the right menu, and part with quite a large sum of money. According to The Knot, a magazine on all things weddings, the average price of feeding one person at a wedding is $85 (based on data from 2023). So even if you don’t have that many people on the guest list, it can add up to quite a round number.

However, despite the price, many people think that food and drinks are a worthy expense when it comes to weddings. The Knot revealed that for roughly six in ten couples, food and beverages were the most important things when planning their wedding.

An engaged woman herself, the OP told Bored Panda that the situation her loved ones found themselves in during their big day was, in a way, a lesson for her. “It made me understand that I need to look for these kinds of red flags. Because a vendor acting like that, trying to make decisions in my place or criticizing my choices, is not going to make my day as I want. I need to choose vendors that like my vision and are enthusiastic to do stuff in a less traditional way,” she shared.

Talking about the importance of discussing the details with the caterers before the big day, Dan Pashman agreed that it’s an important step to take. However, he believes that focusing on every single detail and trying to micromanage everything might drive the couple crazy.

“Of course the caterer you hire should be trustworthy and treat you with respect. But also, remember that on your wedding day, something will go wrong. No big event in human history has ever gone off without a single issue,” the expert said, adding that the guests will most likely not even notice the issue. “Only you will, because you know how it was supposed to be and it wasn't that way. And when that happens, don't let it ruin your wedding! Don't let it take away from your joy on a special day.”

Of course, serving something else, as long as it’s good, is not the same as the bride being served nothing. However, if things with the food go a little south, it’s important to keep in mind that not everything is ruined.

“The most important and special part of your wedding is that pretty much all the people on the planet who care most about you will be together in one place to celebrate with you. If the caterer forgets to serve the heart-shaped grilled cheese sandwiches that you dip into the espresso cups of tomato soup, nobody will notice, and it doesn't really truly matter anyway!” Pashman said.