Unfortunately, we live in a world where gender-based stereotypes are so ingrained in our society that they stick like wine stains on white fabric and refuse to let go. You might keep scrubbing on it for ages, and it might fade, but it never disappears completely.
This couple faced a gender-based issue as their kids’ school kept calling the mom for any contact, and since she was in the medical profession, she couldn’t always answer. Despite repeatedly informing the school to contact the dad instead, they just refused to budge, angering the original poster (OP)!
More info: Reddit
Gender-based stereotypes are so ingrained in our society that they create issues even to this day
Image credits: elenakratovich / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and his wife have two daughters, and they have listed the poster's number as the primary contact at the school
Image credits: Tiberius_Jim
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mother works in the medical field and is unable to take calls when with a client, but the school still calls her
Image credits: Tiberius_Jim
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite informing them multiple times to call the poster, they still refuse to listen, which is really annoying him
Image credits: Tiberius_Jim
He reached out to the office manager and was promised that they will heed the instructions for the future, but he still has doubts
Today, the parents in our story tell us about their daughters’ school and how it stereotyped them. The father, Tiberius_Jim, has been recorded as the primary contact for the kids as the mother works in the medical field and can’t take calls when she’s with clients, whereas the poster works from home, so it only makes sense that he takes their calls.
However, the school is so steeped in their stereotypical behavior that they always call the mother and don’t even call OP when she doesn’t answer. Despite the father informing them about the issue multiple times, the school refused to budge, and when it happened again after their daughter got injured, he had simply had enough.
When he vented online, many fathers could relate to the story as they have also experienced similar discrimination, and they encouraged him to contact the school. Well, OP updated that he did reach out to the officer manager, who assured him that they will heed his advice in the future. However, the poster clarified that’s exactly what they said the last time it happened, and he isn't assured by their statement.
To understand the issue from an expert’s perspective, Bored Panda reached out to teacher and principal Jyoti D., who has been in the teaching profession for the past 21 years. She mentioned that this was very unprofessional of the school, as it appears to operate under the assumption that mothers are more likely to be the primary caregivers or more responsive to school communication.
Image credits: EmilyStock / agency (not the actual photo)
Jyoti also explained, “The family clearly communicated that the father works from home and is the most reachable. Ignoring this in favor of a generic assumption about mothers being more available undermines trust. This practice may not only cause frustration for the father but could delay the child receiving comfort, support, or pickup in a timely manner.”
Our expert also noted that this also sends a subtle but damaging message to children and families about whose presence or role “matters” more. According to Jyoti, this can be confusing or painful if they know the other parent (the dad) is usually the one picking them up, helping with homework, or spending the most time at home.
She believes that it’s the school’s responsibility to encourage inclusivity, responsiveness, and respect for all family structures, and they should review their practices and guard against unconscious gender biases in communication protocols. “At that tender age, children pick up things pretty fast, so ensuring that the school doesn’t mess up with their parental balance is crucial,” Jyoti concluded.
Many Redditors also came up with advice on how the couple could navigate the situation, as some suggested swapping their numbers and giving OP’s number under his wife’s name. The poster also wondered whether the couple should change both their names to gender-neutral ones to confuse the school so they don’t always call the mom by default.
What do you think about that idea? Also, if you have some wise words to share with the couple, feel free to do so in the comments below!
Netizens empathized with the poster as many fathers reported facing the same issue, while others also suggested ideas to tackle it
