Birthdays are one of the few days when you are celebrated and cherished by the people you love. And they are more fun if you spend them with your family and friends. But not all birthday celebrations are as sweet as cake. Sometimes, a family conflict can ruin your special day or affect someone else.
That’s what happened with this Redditor when he felt that his in-laws purposely excluded him from the secret birthday dinner they had planned for his wife. When he expressed that he was hurt by their actions, his wife defended her parents.
More info: Reddit
On the week of his wife's birthday, this man arranged a dinner for her and invited her family and friends, however, none of them could make it
Image credits: Matthias Zomer (not the actual photo)
His wife said that he should've changed the plan to some other day as only one friend showed up, who was also 45 minutes late
Image credits: u/lightbulbjb-first
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Turns out, his in-laws had arranged a celebration and not invited him, and when he expressed his hurt feelings to his wife, she defended them, pointing out flaws in the dinner that he threw
Image credits: u/lightbulbjb-first
He later updated that it was a surprise dinner so his wife couldn't have told him, but he was still hurt and she continued to defend her parents
In this article, we will take a look at a story narrated by Reddit user lightbulbjb-first. He explained that on the week of his wife’s birthday, he planned a dinner for her. So he invited her parents and siblings. Apparently, her parents were unavailable that night, while one brother was sick and the other didn’t even respond to him.
His wife thought that he should’ve changed the plans to another day as her family couldn’t come. He had also invited all her friends, out of which only one showed up, and even she was 45 minutes late. But then, these things made sense to him as he found out something that really hurt him. Turns out, her family had planned a secret celebration for their daughter on Sunday.
And this was done with the knowledge that the man had a long-standing volunteer commitment on every Sunday from 8 am to 5 pm. The in-laws were aware that due to this, he would have to decline the invite as he wouldn’t be able to find a last-minute sub for his shift. But what really hurt him was the fact that they didn’t even ask him or even make him aware that they were planning something like this. So, he asked netizens if he was in the wrong for thinking that they could’ve at least asked him about it.
He also told his wife how he felt about the whole situation. But she did not sympathize with him; instead, she sided with her parents and defended them. She even started to point out all the flaws in the dinner that he had arranged for her. The original poster (OP) was more hurt by this and he felt that he shouldn’t have even bothered to try anything for her.
Later he also explained to netizens that his wife couldn’t have told him about it before as it was a surprise party for her. But he stressed that he was still hurt by their behavior, while she continued to defend them and even kept blaming him.
Image credits: Mike Greer (not the actual photo)
Redditors had a lot to say about the story. Many of them declared that the man was not in the wrong as he had put in effort for her birthday. And the least his in-laws could have done was tell him about the dinner even if he couldn’t make it. According to Journey Counselling Inc., “When you feel like your spouse sides with your in-laws, this can leave you feeling left out, betrayed, or like you’re not measuring up. These conflicts can also be very hard on the spouse who feels caught in the middle between two people they love and can have a negative impact on the marriage.”
Some netizens sided with the wife. They felt that he should’ve changed the day after finding out that none of her family could make it. They argued that family is important to the wife, so it was obvious that she was not pleased with the dinner plan which was only convenient for him. They advised him that he should’ve informed her family well in advance before finalizing the day and plan. One also said that the wife might have some complaints about him so they didn’t invite him.
From the wife’s behavior, some peeps concluded that his wife and her family were trying to push him out of the relationship and she was going to leave him. They even said that her behavior wasn’t normal. Healthline says, “Unhappy marriages can cause significant stress, which can then affect your physical and mental health. It also leads to more marital conflicts.”
What the Redditors commented is not completely baseless, as research has shown that high marital tension in a couple will likely lead to divorce. Whether it be due to family conflicts or something else, couples often experience marital distress. In fact, approximately 20% of all married couples experience marital distress at any given time.
Another study has also proven that marital quality and psychological well-being are connected. And to improve this well-being, it’s essential to improve the quality of marriage. But whether the couple wishes to do that will be totally up to them. For now, let’s go over to you. Are you also divided in opinions like the Redditors? We would like to know, so don’t forget to let us know in the comments.
Many netizens declared that the poster was not in the wrong for being upset about it, but some said that he was the one at fault and asked him to give more context
Image credits: Elias Momoh (not the actual photo)
